Posts by Emma Hart
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I meant to mention this before, in terms of Austen and lending books and never seeing them again... Being Elizabeth Bennet.
It's a Choose Your Own Adventure through Austen's books. You can choose to marry Mr Collins, or Mr Darcy the first time he asks (but only if your intelligence score is low enough). A rip-roaring read I haven't seen since I lent it out months ago.
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**About 75% of all librarians**. Anal self-importance, puffery, and insanely insular over-analysis characterise way too many people in this profession. This is not brain surgery and you are not that important. Shut up.
I just got ten minutes of obstructive bollocks from a librarian who wouldn't let me pick up a reserve on my daughter's card. What annoys me the most about this is that good librarians are fcuking wonderful. You just never know what you're going to get.
And let me add, Slingshot. We've asked to be put on their 'do not call' list five times. I've even yelled at some poor bastard's supervisor. They will not stop calling us. Why do they think this would persuade us to use their service?
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You know what's cooler than ponies? Pwnies. That's what my eleven year old girl wants.
Carry on.
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Mark Waugh : "F*** me, look who it is! Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England"
James Ormond : "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"
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And on the vampire front, I'm rather enjoying Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian.
Oh hey, me too, but hardly anyone else I know has heard of it.
I'm also really enjoying the love-in for DWJ. I think one of the best things to come out of the HP phenomenon was the re-issuing of all her young adult books.
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I think we found the person who's going to sub for Hadyn during the cricket season.
We do make a good team. Haydn doesn't like cricket, oh no, and I love it, yeah.
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It's a pity no-one told George Lucas that before he pumped out a turgid stream of shitquels, and pissed on my cherished childhood memories from a great height.
When it comes to hating on Lucas, I think the prize still goes to my friend jsr, who won the Ruptured Spleen Award with his effort:
Someone is going to say "Oh, come now, you had years to get wound up about these sequels! They could never match years worth of expectations!" .. fuck you, if I had years to get excited about more Star Wars movies, Lucas had an equal amount of years to put the fucking things together in his head. And do it well. I've seen each of these movies exactly once, and that's all I plan to see. And I've seen Howard the Duck twice. Lucas really tried to pull out some stops in Episode III, but even Yoda channeling Bruce Lee couldn't save it. Even two jedi crash-landing a burning spaceship from orbit couldn't save it. You couldn't have saved it if Batman showed up in it.
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There are some things far too precious to let out of memory and back into your waking life
This is why I haven't re-read Diana Wynne Jones's The Homeward Bounders, which I loved when I was about ten. I don't want to be disappointed by it now.
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I thought the attribution was Glenn McGrath v. a Kenyan batsman?
Zimbabwean
Glen McGrath, employing gamesmanship tactics tried to get under the skin of Zimbabwe player Eddo Brandes. He ran up to Brandes during a follow through and enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why the hell are you so fat?" Without missing a beat, Brandes replied "Cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit"
The spontaneous retort sent even the aussie slip fielders into delirium who were seen lying on the ground clutching their stomach all the while as McGrath retraced his steps to the start of his run-up for his next delivery
Right up there with 'you know what it looks like, you go find it'.
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Howsabout a bit of Jasper Fforde to f*** with every genre and character in literature?
I love Jasper Fforde. I want to be Jasper Fforde when I grow up.
but I love Anne Elliot and think Persuasion is one of the best of Austen's novels
I just... can't identify with her at all, I think is the problem. And that's not a problem I have with either of the Dashwood sisters. She just sits about doing nothing about her situation.
I like Emma, though, which is an argument I've certainly had.