Posts by Gee
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darn, sorry missed the edit window. if you can't see the youtube header on the above then a) NSFW and b) probably triggering for sexual assault
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Hard News: Rape and unreason, in reply to Dylan Reeve,
1. Your feelings “as a man” are more important than teaching people what rape is, and how to prevent it.
No, I don’t think I said that.
Yes, you actually did. when you said you were shouted at while passing an Anti-Rape protest. I don't like that someone singled you out as a man when you went past, but on the other hand, being yelled at and harassed by strangers is a normal day for most women walking along a street, minding their own business. And if they're lucky, that will be verbally only.
If I tell my kids that my only expectation of them is that they’ll behave badly then I can hardly be surprised that they do. If we say that we expect men to sexually assault women (and that’s a message that isn’t uncommon, although varies in subtlety) then I think we’re probably making things worse.
You're not listening to what we're saying. The current victim-blaming way of 'dealing' with rape and sexual assault tells every woman/trans* person to consider any male a threat. Therefore if you don't know a male very well, he could be a rapist. That's not asking men to behave badly, but it sure as heck isn't asking anyone to think about their actions and their words. Saying, hey, don't rape, ask for consent, don't let others talk about this/do this is not blaming all men, it's asking everyone to take responsibility for themselves. Not such a tall order, is it?
And re: rape jokes being a way to deal with a painful issue? No. I've never heard a rape joke in person that was trying to deal with the issue. If the only rape jokes you're hearing are like this though, then I'll give you a pass. -
Up Front: The Missing Stair Part Two:…, in reply to Danielle,
I am so much more bolshy online than in person and it’s mainly because of this. “Oh goodness, if I get snotty about this then I am going to seem really impolite.”
I realised lately that I had been labelled the “challenging” one at parties, for occasionally calling people out on their BS. It made me feel wary to keep doing it… but OTOH I always felt like I keep my mouth shut more than I wanted to… i feel like i am dancing with Social Death sometimes….
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Up Front: The Missing Stair Part Two:…, in reply to Craig Ranapia,
it's also been encouraging seeing guys get that jamming harassment/rape culture isn't women's work. It diminishes all us, and we've all got to decide whether to be the solution or the problem
amen to that
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this by-election is a chance for our issues to make the news night after night. We need you to stand someone who knows how we feel. Your candidates should be people who marched with us, who fought with us even when nobody else was paying any attention. I would love it if at least one of the candidates you chose, for Central or East, actually was one of us: the exhausted scary fucked-off mothers of Christchurch.
Exactly. I'm not in Chch these days but I have enough family & friends in the area to know that this seat is not just another seat. Pity John Campbell isn't a mother from Chch East, I think he'd win hands down...
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Up Front: It's Complicated, in reply to BenWilson,
Agreed.
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Up Front: It's Complicated, in reply to BenWilson,
Yes, it would be a terrible thing to happen. Also very unlikely.
Agreed. Sorry, wasn't trying to make a point there, just wanted to not minimise the struggle for people with sexually-transmitted HIV, or those with serious complications from other STDs.
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Up Front: It's Complicated, in reply to BenWilson,
Which would get you in trouble these days, if you actually did it at a pool.
Quite :)
Many things that aren't STDs are serious. Many things that are STDs aren't particularly serious. They don't really hold any special place in the medical seriousness stakes..... To this end the endless stigmatization of young sex is a major cause of problems with STDs. It sets up a situation where the young are ignorant and afraid to seek help. It's a perverse outcome of our social treatment of the problem.
Exactly. Not the most serious of illnesses, typically.* But going untreated because of ignorance/'shame' is the problem.
I think my teens years would have been very, very different if societal reaction to sex wasn't such a major player in the frame. OTOH, it may also have reduced the interest in something that wasn't 'forbidden', from both sides of the equation.
*but, obviously, HIV, untreated gonorrhea and syphilis, etc......
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Up Front: It's Complicated, in reply to BenWilson,
Which is why treatment for them should be free, anonymous, and non-judgmental, in the interests of public health, and children should know how they can access that treatment.
Christchurch had this when I was a teenager. Was of huge importance to a lot of teens then. It's my understanding now that the clinic had to close from lack of funding. Perhaps relatedly, Christchurch has been in the news for high teen STD rates in the last few months.
We get sick every year, it's just part of life.
yes... but the consequences of untreated STDs or late treated STDs can be quite serious, as Chris pointed out, particularly the ones without symptoms which can lead to infertility... I remember one friend joking that since she had an STD she would be less likely to get pregnant, so she could have less protected sex (in the sense of contraceptives versus condoms)... She was legal at the time, though... and to be fair the issue is just as important for people in their 20s etc. Which really seems to support the 'maturity not age' angle, but that's near impossible to judge/police...
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Up Front: Gathered Together, in reply to JoJo,
- but now at least we can make that decision for ourselves.
My main reason for celebrating this is for the generations of Kiwis who will be born into a country where being gay isn't shown by legislation to mean 'less' or 'abnormal'. It might not make a difference right now for a kid who's being bullied or teased for being queer - but it will.
so much this!!
thanks for another gem, emma