Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V
175 Responses
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Bart Janssen, in reply to
would perform better if we threatened to chop off their balls?
Why threaten? Seems to me too many of them think with something other than their heads while batting so maybe a drop in testosterone levels might improve their shot selection.
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Bart Janssen, in reply to
Think of your testes as a cricket pitch
So you're saying the V is like a batting power play?
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recordari, in reply to
The first part is an oldie and a goodie. The rest I hadn't seen before but could be better.
Is it possible that using this text, as I did, as a resource to teach English to foreign students is a form of cultural imperialism? At the time it just seemed funny, and the students certainly laughed quite openly, but now I see it in another context, I'm a bit worried.
Maybe just 'cricket imperialism'?
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Jackie Clark, in reply to
Congratulations, Ross. Cricket - indeed any sport - talk is guaranteed to stop me eavesdropping.
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Oh Jackie.
The first teste is always the hardest.
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Thank you all for your kind words and oh-so-cruel stories... I didn't mean to start a pissing (blood) contest - far from it (I thought it quite painless, particularly compared with a bone marrow biopsy. Ouchies!) but the tales have been entertaining.
Gerald, if you're reading this, you owe me a beer or a cut of the action. Oh wait, I already got that.
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Paul Williams, in reply to
Well played Pat! Some are David Warner, others David Gower.
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Enough of this sticky wicket. Time for a counter-argument, although it's almost too obvious.
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Having grown up in a family with a strong medical background, I early on came to regard all surgery as butchery, saved only by the body's ability to half-arsed almost heal itself....often.....and decided then that any surgery for me would be because I would die otherwise. I do not have tattoos for the same reason. The human body can't be improved by human intervention other than a good hair cut, brushing ones teeth, a decent diet and regular exercise. This decision was made long before there was anyone to discuss vasectomy with, never mind contemplate needing one.
We had the discussion. Neither of us had any surgery. No chemicals or pills were employed. We have two kids...and no more.
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Jackie Clark, in reply to
Whilst your beliefs are admirable, Steve. peoples' levels of fertility are incredibly diverse. Some, such as your good self, have the number of pregnancies/children they wish for. Others fall pregnant if a penis is so much as waved in the direction of the nearest vagina.
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James Butler, in reply to
The human body can’t be improved by human intervention other than a good hair cut, brushing ones teeth, a decent diet and regular exercise
I wasn't looking for improvement ; I was specifically interested in disabling a miraculous (and demonstrably operational) - but inconvenient - function of my body. My body is now no "better" than it was, but it suits the way I wish to use it.
Plus I know that the "brutality" of the operation is less than the prospective "brutality" that my wife would undergo if I were to go without the operation, and later screw it up (so to speak). (Pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood are wonderful things, but the balance of suffering to wonder varies wildly from person to person)
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Confessionals are much better when wimmins are involved.
Ah. Another area where the Catholic Church got things wrong, then. Although I think I've established from the comments here that anyone following the Churches' teachings on contraception has missed a trick.
For natural contraception, you just have to repeat 'catheter catheter catheter' until the urges sort of shrivel and die.
Haven't had the big V but have had the colonoscopy and although it didn't exactly leave me wanting to order seconds it wasn't as bad as I'd expected.
The main event of note - and this is something I partly remember and partly pieced together afterwards from my wife told me - was not being introduced to the bloke who performed the surgery.
This annoyed me at the time, apparently. What I do remember is having the nurse bung the needle in the back of the left hand, the anaeshtestist saying gidday and who he was and shoving in the magic stuff.
Then having my shoulder being shaken and thinking 'ah, this will be the specialist' but it was the nurse saying she was just going to roll me off the table and into the wheelchair.
Remember being vaguely incredulous that the whole thing was done.
But apparently I was complaining loudly as I was pushed down the corridor that if the bloke was going to shove a cable up my freckle the least he could do was introduce himself first.
The nurse must have told the Doc because when he did his post-op rounds he came in, paused at the door with the hint of a grin on his face, and then came in saying 'I'm Dr Groom, I gather we haven't properly been introduced.'
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The human body can't be improved by human intervention other than a good hair cut
Well, all those pharmacy companies selling potions and lotions which claim to halt the aging process, and the hawkers of botox and plastic surgery, seem to believe otherwise.
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and decided then that any surgery for me would be because I would die otherwise.
So if you'd been in my position last year, Steve, you'd have left the brain tumor in and gone blind? There was no danger of death.
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Martin Lindberg, in reply to
...to regard all surgery as butchery
I quite like the orthopedic butchery performed on my shoulder a while ago.
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Morgan Nichol, in reply to
Oh snap! *waves hand in that particular sort of swirly you-just-got-told way*
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Pete,
Girlfriend at the time missed her period (and said she'd go full term if she was pregnant) and I'd been meaning to get the slice for ages so I thought that once it's out the tip ya lose any say in the matter so off to the good wimminz at the Family Planning Clinic in Welly - about $270 from memory.
Got the counselling as a non-breeder in early thirties - that was fine. I thought it amusing to have my cock tied up to my bunched t-shirt with a rubber band to keep it out of the way. Gotta love a good bush doctor technique.
A bit paranoid afterwards that it might not be fully functioning (Hello Irrational Fear) so I was back in the saddle that night and right as rain.
As previously noted in pissing contest, pain was minimal.The funny thing is that I thought I'd regret it more than I do which is basically not at all.
Girlfriend didn't last (surprise surprise) but the unexpected comic relief came from a dirty weekend callback some years later - "I think the condom failed, I think I'm pregnant"
Uh-huh.Spent 4 happy years with a woman with 3 kids and have come to the conclusion that if you love em they're as close to being yours as makes no difference.
If NZ men are high on the Vas count, does anyone have a reason beyond irreligousity?
Would be curious to hear theories.. -
Lucy Stewart, in reply to
Whilst your beliefs are admirable, Steve. peoples' levels of fertility are incredibly diverse. Some, such as your good self, have the number of pregnancies/children they wish for. Others fall pregnant if a penis is so much as waved in the direction of the nearest vagina.
To be pendantic, he did say "no chemicals or pills", which leaves at least three very-to-extremely reliable methods of contraception I can think of. Or more information about how often he gets laid than we really needed.
The human body can't be improved by human intervention other than a good hair cut, brushing ones teeth, a decent diet and regular exercise.
Either you're taking the piss, or you have led a life ludicrously isolated from the various genetic screwups (cleft palates, Type 1 diabetes, problematic wisdom teeth...) that cause many human bodies to be in need of a great deal of intervention from quite early stages in life. In which case I suggest you start paying more attention to the people around you, because that's a fucking ableist statement.
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Tamsin6, in reply to
If NZ men are high on the Vas count, does anyone have a reason beyond irreligousity?
Would be curious to hear theoriesPure pragmatism?
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If NZ men are high on the Vas count, does anyone have a reason beyond irreligousity?
Would be curious to hear theoriesPure pragmatism?
Logical extension of the number eight fencing wire thing?
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Would be curious to hear theories
Because as a general rule, NZ men are good husbands, good fathers and generally good bastards?
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Two words: Southern Cross.
Don't know about overseas, but in NZ I got the nip/tuck and SC picked up the tab.
That was a major factor in my case.
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Pete, in reply to
Yeah, looks like pragmatism.
Looking at man-plumbing vs woman-plumbing a quick cut and sear is the easiest deal overall.
Cost is a reasonable factor too - surgery for less than 300 bucks FTW
Obviously I've been reading too much Freakonomics - always looking for the hidden meaning which actually might not be there -
I hated raincoats. Even when told to wear on by my Mum when I went to school.
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The human body can't be improved by human intervention other than a good hair cut, brushing ones teeth, a decent diet and regular exercise.
Pish and tish. To take but one simple example, I can keep spare pens in my earlobes. This is of great benefit in my day to day work.
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