Posts by Pat Hackett
-
Would be curious to hear theories
Because as a general rule, NZ men are good husbands, good fathers and generally good bastards?
-
Before my life-raft sinks, I would like to point out than men and women alike are to happy to refer to Helen Mirren as the poster-girl for good-looking older women. How much does Mirren's longer locks play a part in this impression (subconciously). If she had a Judi Dench cut, would the impression of Mirren still be the same?
Also, most women I know are happy to point out when they think their husband's hair is shite (too long, too short, too grey etc) as well as when other aspects of his grooming are not to their desire (mustache, goatee, sideburns, nasal hair, eyebrows, ear hair etc). But one mention of his preference for her hair, and all hell breaks loose.
-
Mayday! Mayday!
-
At the risk of being shot down in flames...
One thing that many women do as they get older is cut their hair short. Not the bob, but the short-short boy cut. It is only one small step away from the blue rinse. And the younger a woman gets the cut, the more permanent it becomes. It is almost as if they have given up.
Keep the longer locks, ladies, and it does wonders to maintain a more youthful look and your femininity, no matter what your height or weight.
For guys it is more a matter of good grooming and a suntan - it is strange how a guy's big belly looks better if it is brown than if it is white.
-
Roseanne Barr has had some work done. But then again, they probably all have, according to this:
http://www.bevhills.com/news/2001/09/29/hollywood-plastic-surgeon-confessions/
My vote for aging fabulously goes to Susan Sarandon.
-
Field placements...
Think of your testes as a cricket pitch. There are two sets of fieldsmen - one on the on-side and one on the off-side. You don't have to worry about the off-side - you can hit the ball through there all day and all night and never get into any trouble. But the on-side fieldsmen are like Jonty Rhodes on speed, and what's more, there are hundreds of them - nay, thousands. One slip up, one unintended shot in the air and you will be caught out. Whammo, baby time.
But one simple procedure and all the on-side fieldsmen disappear. You know they are still there somewhere, but you can't see them anymore, and certainly there is no chance of any of them catching you out. You can relax and your batting partner, she can relax as well. You don't even need a helmet. And Time at the Crease takes on a whole new meaning.
-
Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V, in reply to BenWilson,
Fair enough. There is also the risk that you could get your wife pregnant again. How does she feel about that?
-
What are the typical objections by men to getting it done?
Because I was under 30 at time, the Family Planning Clinic deemed that I required a counselling session first. The questions (and my answers) I recall were:
What if you want more children one day?
I already have a boy and a girl. They only make two kinds.
What if you get divorced?
Then my kids will probably need me more, not less.
What if you re-marry and your new partner wants children?
Then that is too bad for her. I've already got my kids.
What if one of your children die?
I can't bring them back. And I can't go through my life thinking that the worst is going to happen - that I am going to get divorced or one of my kids is going to die. -
I had a friend who kept putting it off because he thought he would never be able to ejaculate again. Basically he thought it would just blow air, and that as a party trick you could use your old fella to blow out a candle.
He had the chop in the end, but I don't go to his parties anymore.
-
No Russell. It is the sworn truth. St Mary's Hospital, Whangarei, 1987. It can't have been much fun for her, I admit. I did protest that I could probably manage it myself, but the head nurse was adament I should not be sent to shower with a razor blade whilst half drugged.