Field Theory by Hadyn Green

It might just be the most scrutinised annual list in the country. With all apologies to Mr English and his budget, but this is important!

John Afoa (Auckland), Jimmy Cowan (Southland). Wyatt Crockett* (Canterbury), Stephen Donald (Waikato), Andrew Hore (Taranaki), Cory Jane (Wellington), Richard Kahui (Waikato), Jerome Kaino (Auckland), Tanerau Latimer* (Bay of Plenty), Brendon Leonard (Waikato), Keven Mealamu (Auckland), Liam Messam (Waikato), Mils Muliaina (C) (Waikato), Ma'a Nonu (Wellington), Kieran Read (Canterbury), Josevata Rokocoko (Auckland), Isaac Ross* (Canterbury), Conrad Smith (Wellington), Adam Thomson (Otago), Brad Thorn (Canterbury), Neemia Tialata (Wellington), Isaia Toeava (Auckland), Piri Weepu (Wellington), Ali Williams (Auckland), Tony Woodcock (North Harbour), Rudi Wulf (North Harbour).

This is a cautious list, like the budget. It cuts back on overseas options (McAlister). It's waiting for some damaged investments to return to full fitness (So'oialo) while backing others (Leonard). It is wary of previous pitfalls (Lauaki) but it creates some interesting puzzles (who goes where in the loose forwards) and big questions (where's Masaga?).

And like the budget I'm not quite sure how to interpret the overall situation.

I know we'll come out of the internationals unscathed (though maybe with a few injuries) but how we'll fare against the South Africans is uncertain (or the Aussies for that matter).

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Occasionally in the action-packed world of blogging I get email, like this one from Robert (please take this as sic though the links are mine).

Mr Green, I usually read Russel, but your previous post about the Champions League, and then this little effort leading with your dissapointment in a chap called McCaw (I think), not starting for a troup known as the, 'All Blacks', caught my attenetion.

I'm a NZ'er in China and have to say your barely hidden envy of Fergie, as a manager of a team that has transmorgrified over the years was petulent, childish, and oh so kiwi.

Get over it, you live in a lovely little country, playing a lovely little sport; decaying as we speak.

As to the 2011 (WORLD CUP?) sideshow, enjoy. I'll be in Chong Qing, with people who are part of a world that was glued to Man C.v.Barca.

Wow, if anything makes you think Manchester United fans are dicks, it's this. I am assuming he's a Man U fan and not a City fan as he implies.

I thought I had already swallowed the rat on this one and admitted to being wrong in saying Sir Alex may be "overrated", but apparently not (for clarity, I was wrong, he is very, very rated). Though it seems I am, naturally, envious of "Fergie" (seriously when I first read this I thought of the former member of the house of Windsor who had her toes sucked by a Texan, remember that? Ahhh the nostalgic past).

The "World Cup" slur is interesting. There are world cups in many sports, but only football is The World Cup. I imagine this is a similar usage of "the" as in Winnie the Pooh. Without my AA Milne at hand I remember Pooh having a rather interesting discussion on the word "the" and how it was used in the context of his name.

"The World Cup", said with a slight 'r' sound at the end of the "the" or with a very pronounced 'eeee'. An 'e' for "exclusivity" if you will.

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And just in case I get more angry emails: Well done Black Caps, you beat India (in a 20/20 warm up match)

I saw three games this weekend and none of them were worth it. The Pulse lost 44-66. The Chiefs lost 61-17. And currently the Cubs are down 8-0 in the bottom of the sixth.

There's something about games like these. You just can't watch them for too long.

I stopped watching the Super 14 final when the result seemed inevitable.

I couldn't stop watching the Pulse get spanked by the Steel because I was there covering it. The crowd stopping lustily cheering almost from the beginning of the fourth quarter, replacing it with lacklustre clapping. The children, bless them, continued to make up chants ("C'mooooon, ThePulse… C'mooooon, ThePulse…") but it was all done and dusted.

There is an awful inevitability to blow-out games. The winning team's defence closes down, the offense stops taking chances.

Even in a game like the Pulse-Steel match where the Steel are trying to inflate their Points Differential (they currently have a finger-hold on fourth place), the winning team only blows out the score when they knows there is no chance the opposition can come back.

Personally I hate teams that blow out the score against a weaker opponent (where points diff is not an issue), but I'm not going to tell them they can't. After all part of competition is crushing all those who stand in your path.

At the press conference coach Robyn Broughton seemed a little peeved when she was told the Magic had put 23 points on the Pulse, one more than the Steel could manage.

Still it's not much fun to watch the underdog get kicked.

When the Chiefs got to Pretoria I don't think anyone thought would win. Many thought they had played their final against the Hurricanes the week before. I call ballsack on that. The Bulls were the best team all season and looked like they would've outplayed any team in that final.

Of course now all eyes turn to gaze upon Graham Henry, readying their ridicule at his crazy selections for our national team. Will Tanerau Latimer become an All Black while playing for Bay of Plenty (something unheard of in the modern era)? Will Luke McAlister rejoin the team he left? Will Henry suffer some sort of brain trauma and select Sione Lauaki?

all photos by Michael Roseingrave

I saw no money in the budget yesterday directly attached to winning the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Nor did I see any other comedy-based spending; hence the budget was a sham and a let down.

And then Richie McCaw was ruled out of the first All Black tests of the year! Fucking government.

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In other news the Pulse are back in town so I'll be covering that tomorrow (#pulse for those wanting updates on twitter).

It's a home game on a long weekend which is likely to feature rain and being played in the afternoon, as such it's the perfect game to attend. So I'm thinking we can cause the Pulse's first victory if we get enough people there cheering them on (a flash mob if you will).

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Lastly via Rich Irvine here's a fantastic representation of the Indy 500.

The Metservice said "fog clearing to fine with northerlies". Then from the bus I saw a strange glowing orb in the sky. An older gentleman from a few rows back whispered something about the "sun". More sensible riders hushed him and one voice chastised with: "don't jinx it".

As our electric bus skated silently through Courtenay Place I thought: "There are an awful lot of people out and about for this time of the morning. Even with the nice weather. And why are there so many in red shirts… Oooohhhhh."

I can't believe I had forgotten. Ok, not true, I had forgotten because I don't care. All I really knew about this match was that Manchester United were trying to be the first team to win back to back Champion's League titles.

Sir Alex Ferguson was being his old arseholish self in an interview yesterday:

"We've never done it, no one's ever done it. We're a team that does firsts"

And while I can't stand him and think he's probably over-rated, I love his swagger.

From the bus I looked up the score. It was halftime (hence everyone outside having a smoke) and Barcelona were up 1-0. By the time this goes up the game will probably be decided And then they won by 2-0 (the UEFA site wouldn't update for me beyond 65 mins, so I had to go to ESPN of all places).

The oddest claim I heard was that if Barca win (and they have now) then Messi is the greatest player in the world. What an interesting Correlation-Causation argument.

Many years back I read a book for work, Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone. It's all about social capital and social participation.

As you can probably guess from the title, Putnam found that not only were fewer Americans participating in the democratic process and volunteering in their communities, but there were also fewer people joining bowling teams. But there weren't fewer bowlers.

While the social element broke down people still liked to bowl.

About the same time (the early part of the century) Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine was released. In between Moore's theatrics was the interesting (and disturbing) story of two friends in a close pact, who loved to bowl together. Putnam would agree that strong internal cohesion often creates negative external societal outcomes…but I digress.

Really what I want to talk about is bowling. I love bowling. And what's not to like?

You get to sit around, talking with your friends, drinking beer and occasionally getting up to throw something heavy at a bunch of pins that clatter about with the best noise. I love that noise. On a good roll you get that deep rumble of the ball on a curve that should, with any luck, terminate just to the right of the front pin. Then the smashing, almost porcelain-like, sound of the explosion of pins. Then you dance.

Like all sport, bowling has a culture. That culture is something The Lanes (an "urban" bowling alley in Wellington) is lacking. Bowling isn't cool. Sure hipsters think there is a certain ironic charm in having a few beers and rolling a few rocks but irony is all bowling has.

In America, professional bowling is huge. They have super-stars; they have endorsements; they get live coverage on ESPN (despite how much I yell at the TV for them to just show the baseball). And yet… it still isn't cool. The bowlers run out (sometimes with intro music), they wave to the crowd, and you can see on their faces that they think this is awkward.

And it is. Inside a bowling alley someone wearing two tone shoes, a loud shirt, and a protective wrist thing is the King or Queen of the alley (it's like the really good swimmers at the local pool or the good runners at the park). Yet as soon as they walk out the door they become weirdoes.

The Big Lebowski shows this quite well. Nothing bad happens in the bowling alley. There are arguments and confrontations but it's the sanctuary to the characters. The Dude and his pals head there when things go wrong. Everyone knows them there and everyone is an old friend. League Night takes precedent over other things. In fact many bad things happen when they step out of the alley (think about Donny).

Bowling is a comfort sport. It's the warm toast of sport. It's often portrayed as an escape. Middle-class family men (from Fred "twinkle toes" Flintstone on up) have gone bowling as an escape from the pressure of their daily lives and stresses. Teenagers took their dates bowling (as does a certain east-European gangster in GTA4) in all those same cheesy sitcoms.

So really, bowling is almost the perfect sport. It combines the best parts of spectatorship with the best parts of sportsmanship.

Bowling also tells us about ourselves. We learn quickly if we lean to the left or the right; whether we are just into speed; how much we can lift with one hand; and how well we can dance. Because when you get a strike, it's all you can do.