A while back, I suggested Winston Peters could have a brilliant post-politics career treading the boards as swell-egant shyster Billy Flynn in Chicago. I miscast him — comic operetta is more his line, and what better role than The Mikado’s, Ko-Ko, Lord High Executioner of Titipu whose bluster conceals a heart of pure marshmallow?

Ko-Ko’s even got a show-stealing number, that is often updated with topical references. Like so:

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
The polls are in the crapper, an election’s coming round
And they say I won’t be missed — they say I won’t be missed!
There's the pestilential immigrant of Asiatic hue —
Who runs around committing crimes and putting dogs in stews —
Arabs who wear headscarves, and are covert terrorists;
Scary darkies who wear hoodies, and shake hands by making fists.
Those sickly white liberals who on due process insist?
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!
That lying cow named Audrey Young, the others of her race,
The uppity journalist — I've got them on the list!
The people who are up on facts and wave them in your face,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
Everyone but me, and every party but my own;
All people who won’t kiss my hand, and be obedient hacks;
All traitors who take down my words, and keep reading them back.
And those after straight answers who will endlessly persist —
I don't think they'd be missed — I'm sure they'd not he missed!

That silly technicality, which is giving me a fright,
The Pecuni’ry Interest — I've got that on the list!
Corrupting covert influences in politics are rife,
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!
Chequebook-bearing rich pricks, those who hail from foreign Climes,
Such as — What d'ye call him — Thing'em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind,
And 'St— 'st— 'st— and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who!
They really aren’t that bad when the cheque’s made out to you.
If you don’t shut the hell up, then I really will get pissed
And you never would be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

I predict a smash hit that will run for years! And the sooner voters relieve Peters of his current theatrical engagement, the better.