One of the more delightful by-ways of the English language is the study of eponyms — words derived from people’s names. From Beijing to Harrare, when politics and sport get together, you’re bound to invoke the ostracism of Captain Charles Boycott in Ireland 138 years ago. Eat a sandwich, calculate an algorithm, or catch sight of a reference to America. You’re using an eponym.

The media storm around tarnished sport media star Tony Veitch has inspired a new addition to the list.

**Veitch**, 1. (noun) A voluntary spasm of prurience disguised as moral high-mindedness in the public interest. 2. A carefully designed bank of fog people are expected to believe is transparent.

2. (verb – veitch·ed, veitch·ing, veitch·es) To eject an unpleasant obstruction through the nearest media outlet, in the form of a sour, foul smelling liquid that closely resembles a mixture of faeces, urine and vinegar.

Let’s get the statements of the bleeding obvious out of the way. While there are people who find sado-masochistic activity within relationships a turn on, I don’t. If my better half ever “lashes out” at me physically, he can look forward to charges being pressed and a letter from venerable law firm of Sue, Grabbitt and Runne regarding the division of property. And I fully expect the same treatment if I hit him.

If the allegations against Veitch in the Dominion Post are even only half true he’s a nasty piece of work, and his carefully scripted statement to a press conference on Wednesday did nothing to change my mind.

As this is being recorded, there is the possibility of disciplinary action being taken by his employers, TVNZ and Radio Sport. There’s also speculation around a Police investigation and charges being laid. It’s neither prudent, or fair-minded to anyone involved, to speculate on that here.

But I sure have a thing or two to say about the screaming headline on Thursday’s New Zealand Herald:

**'What DID you do to her, Tony?'**

The capitalisation of “DID” was a particularly fine touch. But I’ve got a counter-question for the media bitch pack: Whose interests do you think you’re serving by getting an answer to that question, really? Other than the circulation and advertising departments, that is?

Violence isn’t OK. But neither is the sight of media whores suddenly playing the outraged virgin and expecting to be taken seriously.