Posts by Emma Hart
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Craig Ranapia,
make the default assumption they know their own fucking minds
This. So much. But not as much as "Fifty Shades of Grey is an embarrassing piece of shit and the sooner people stop talking about it the better."
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to BenWilson,
I can't speak for more repressive societies, but within this one, people already can do pretty much whatever they want within the law.
But they don't, you get that, right Ben? The law is probably the least influential factor in people's sexual decisions.
But I'm not the most shy, retiring and unassertive person you've ever met, right? And it took me four years of having sex before I was having good sex, because the sex I liked was basically hidden from me, socially. There is no aspect of my sexual identity that isn't considered socially unacceptable. Without that social judgement, and without the prudery that stopped me talking about my desires and other people talking to me about theirs, I may well actually have lived a completely different life.
Yes. Always, some people will not get laid as much as they would like. I said that in the initial piece. But currently, as a society, we make people unhappy for no reason at all. No gain. Simply because we don't like the way they shag. I think stopping doing that is actually pretty fucking worthwhile.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Lilith __,
I did a lot of Latin Dance for a couple of years and while a lot of people thought it was an ideal way to sex it up with strangers, I actually just really enjoyed the dancing.
I loved Latin. I love dancing - I'd almost forgotten how much. It's joyful, sometimes it's sexual, sometimes it's... liminal.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Max Rose,
sex is degrading
You say that like it's a bad thing...
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Max Rose,
It's good to remove the stigma and shame from sex, but I wouldn't like to totally eliminate the idea that sex is dirty.
No! All the sex must be nice, and...
Dammit, that was actually how far I could get into that whole "happy spiritual loving" thing before I was laughing so hard I couldn't type.
But yes. Basically, having dirty sex = awesome. Telling other people their sex is dirty and therefore wrong = Just Fuck Off.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to John Armstrong,
Hence my question; do we only get the sublime porn in utopia?
Right, here we go.
We only get the sublimely produced porn. All we care about is that all participants are participating freely, in safe conditions. There are no questions of content once consent issues are settled.
And... I think I have to mention where I'm coming from on this, which is as a female sub. I freely enjoy sexual activities that some other people find 'problematic', or happily describe as impossible to consent to. I look like I'm suffering because I am suffering. When I'm in pain I look like I'm in pain. Sometimes I cry. And it's all absolutely okay, because I have freely consented. In writing, even. There really is no way to say that depiction of those activities isn't completely okay without saying those activities aren't okay. And nobody gets to do that. In this Utopia, nobody would even consider it. Nobody says "but women don't enjoy that", because no matter what it is, there's a woman somewhere who enjoys it.
Also, most pornography would be independently made by individuals in their own homes. Just like it is now.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to John Armstrong,
Okay, I'm cooking. I want to come back and address John's question when I can give it the time it deserves.
One thing I will say, and from John's reply, this isn't directed at him. I am not prepared to have The Porn Argument with anyone who is not prepared to look at those links I posted. I only have so much time and energy and I'm not starting from first principles again.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Russell Brown,
I made the mistake on Saturday night of proposing that Caitlin Moran might not be completely right about everything in the whole world.
Do you need a hug, darling?
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Russell Brown,
It might not be to your taste, but it's been happening for at least six decades. I imagine doing it's a lot like being high.
Have I found the sole place where you get judgey? ;-)
Tongue in cheek? And more of Simon Cowell than the girls themselves?
And yeah, a lot like being high. At 13. As a deliberate marketing exercise.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to John Armstrong,
In a sex-positive utopia, would the content of pornography be any different?
What do you consider to be the "content of pornography" now? Does the image in your head include any same-sex material? If not, why not? Any laughter or playfulness? Brightly-lit stuff? Tattoos? Affection?
It's not hard to find right now. Try starting here. (Link is SFW, links from the link go to porn. Can't put it clearer than that.) There's more here.
Porn is already, in my opinion and experience, miles ahead of mainstream film and television and advertising/fashion, in depicting a wide range of body types and sexual tastes.