Posts by David Haywood
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I recently referred to you to someone in my workplace as The Nicest Man In The World, and said it’s your official title.
Dude, that's both slander and libel. I consider myself in (nearly) the same tough-guy category as Dr Gracewood -- a hell-raiser and ne'er-do-well, living on the edge of the law.
when I am down at Xmas, you and your lovely lady are joining is at the pub
Done!
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Hard News: The Public Address Word of…, in reply to Megan Wegan,
You continue to be held in my high esteem, though.
Thank you very much!
I think Jolisa should still do it.
On further reflection, so do I. That way she’ll prove to us, once and for all, that she’s not chicken.
And it will do wonders for her reputation as a hard bastard.
Nun: The Pope will see you now, Dr Gracewood.
Jolisa: [Calmly lighting a cigarette, and then stubbing-out the butt on a statue of the Virgin Mary] Not so fast, Sister, before you go I have a little question…”
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Correction: Well, blow me down, just Googled to check that I’d remembered the poem correctly – and have discovered that (according to Wikipedia) I’m well wrong about the innocent meaning of ’twat’.
Don’t do it, Jolisa!
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I’m voting for HoSteria, but I’d like to point out that ‘twat’ (like 'cock') also has an entirely innocent meaning as per Browning’s ‘Pippa Passes’ (the one with the famous line “God’s in his heaven/All’s right with the world”):
Then owls and bats
Cowls and twats
Monks and nuns in a cloister’s moods
Adjourn to the oak-stump pantryWhich means, I assume, that a ‘twat’ is the nunly equivalent of a cowl. Incidentally, it is for this reason that I have advised Jolisa Gracewood (on the occasion when she next meets a nun) to ask the question: “May I please see your twat?” It will be fine, Jolisa, I promise you.
The poem also implies that (in the case of a nun’s twat, at any rate) the word must have once rhymed with ‘bat’.
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Speaker: Dancing with Dingoes, Part II, in reply to Joe Wylie,
Very much liked the ending, thank you!
Hear, hear! I liked it, too -- some subtle poignancy happening there.
sally jones wrote:
In the case of cake, less is always less.
This is a major philosophical finding -- easily up there with Descartes...
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I’ve been looking forward to Part II of Dancing with Dingoes. Thank you Sally – very nice work! Just the thing to help cheer us up after the bad news yesterday.
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Southerly: When Otters Get Famous, in reply to Julian Melville,
Splendid! Delighted to hear that Angus & Isaac enjoyed the book -- and very nice to be able to personalize the book for them a little... Cheers, DH
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Southerly: When Otters Get Famous, in reply to Jackie Clark,
Thanks for passing on that feedback, Jackie -- music to my ears, of course! What wonderful taste your colleagues must have...
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Delightful post, young Jolisa -- very very clever!
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Matthew Reid wrote:
What about a collaboration to translate it into Italian? Mia moglia loved reading it to our three and wanted to send it friends/family in Italy.
Sorry, Matthew, I must be especially stupid tonight. A collaboration with you, of course. Sounds very interesting! Just drop me an email to discuss (at the address given in the 'envelope' under my Gravatar on the left).