Posts by Joe Wylie

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  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    So a pub is a dark and lonely space?

    I imagine it could be if you're wearing a burka.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    I'll have you know I looked up the Satans on pillreports.com before I swallowed them. My eyes did get quite deceived later on though.

    If they're called Satans then they're probably suppositories, as in 'Get thee behind me, Satan'.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    Somebody please breathe new life into the phrase "gay badinage".

    Dunno about gay, but I did once see badinage defined as 'a dirty old man'.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    I am aware that I am being manipulated into wanting them, that Anna Wintour and her ilk have convinced me that 4 inch stilettos are not only beautiful, but necessary,and that perhaps said stilettos are a conspiracy by the patriarchy to keep me constantly off balance.

    Should you require a utilitarian justification, I'm reliably informed that hi-rise stilettos provide a great boost when walking uphill. I'll bet they sell heaps more in Wellington than they do in Chch.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    my recollection is that Ozymandias was legless at the time this two foot high plinth was discovered...

    The bits of him that weren't in evidence, would've been legless. What was left were "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone". A dressing-table mirror placed at floor level might provide a good Ozy effect.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a…,

    All to soon, the words of Shelley have relevance when they look in the mirror:
    "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

    Shelley bitches.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Hard News: Beautiful Images,

    Krypto, the dog of steel...

    Inspiration for the parody/cheap knock-off Dynomutt, aka Klepto, the dog of steal?

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Southerly: I Was Dissed By Three Old Ladies,

    Mount Gambier

    A peculiar corner of the planet, though not without its charms. This (beware brief snatch of midi muzak as page loads) is a lovely spot, about 30km distant on the coast. Onetime home of Adam Lindsay Gordon, mosly famous for

    Life is mostly froth and bubble,
    Two things stand like stone:
    KINDNESS in another’s trouble.
    COURAGE in your own.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Up Front: The Up Front Guide to Parenting,

    Uni was first used, I think, in the phrase 'Sydney uni', and was first spotted on these fair shores in 1984 in Auckland.

    Back in 1969, when such things were all the go, someone appeared to have been sprung during the hight while painting the words Students and Workers Unite above the entrance to one of the Victoria campus's major buildings. Salient ran a picture of their handiwork, which appeared to be missing the final two letters, with the observation that, for the moment, the slogan formed the name of an institution of higher learning.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Southerly: I Was Dissed By Three Old Ladies,

    NO FUCKER LITTERS IN FRONT OF ALAN BOLLARD AND GETS AWAY WITH IT

    O great, more solo mum bashing.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

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