Posts by David Haywood
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In other breaking news, I seem to have suddenly come down with a rather severe case of plantar fasciitis -- agony even to put on my sock, walking is virtually out of the question. Apparently traipsing around in hard shoes for numerous kilometres per day carrying an 18 kg two-year-old on my shoulders and her 10 kg pack of stuff can bring it on.
Severe pain suddenly developed in about ten minutes while sitting down and posting yesterday's blog.
Anyone ever had it? Can you suggest a rapid cure?
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In breaking news, Polly no longer resembles the photo. Today she managed to borrow Bob's scissors and give herself a haircut. She does not, I fear, show any natural talent for the hairdressing trade.
Rob Stowell wrote:
Lovely stories. Workmates came over, suspicious. Nothing I could legitimately be doing would make me smile like that. Bravo.
Very pleased that it amused!
Lilith and Bart Janssen wrote:
I feel sorry for the David in the photo
Yes, I felt rather that way myself when I reread this piece. At the time of that photo, we thought the worst was over and that Christchurch had just had a very narrow escape. How little we knew.
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Hard News: So long, and thanks for all…, in reply to Lucy Telfar Barnard,
Unless he was misquoted (and given that the quote was long, I doubt it), there’s no excuse.
Not to exactly defend Jones (and given that this story is a bit difficult to follow since I’m not in NZ at the moment), but I suspect that he was actually misquoted.
Isn’t the gelding bit a reference to Grover Cleveland’s illegitimate child scandal:
[Defending himself against the charge that he had fathered an illegitimate child:] I don’t believe the American people want a Gelding in the White House.
Perhaps Jones was saying that he doesn’t believe the New Zealand people want a someone who doesn’t watch porn and charge it to their ministerial credit card in the Beehive.
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Thank you all for the kind comments -- only sorry that this piece is so tardy (hopefully the IRD will be as forgiving with my 2010-2011 tax return).
Brent Jackson wrote:
Polly is adorably cute (or is that cutely adorable)
What a superb judge of children you are, sir!
Ian Dalziel wrote:
…would two-and-a-half-years later still recycle his daughter in a clearly labelled child killing bag!
Yes, it's funny how you sometimes don't notice these things until a responsible adult points them out.
Polly is very keen on making stuff and doing experiments. She has to wear plastic bags a lot so that her poor father can occasionally have break from the washing machine.
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A whole bunch of extremely amusing stories on this thread, I must say. Thank you all so much! I've laughed, I've cried, I've felt nauseous. It's been, as they say, a journey. A journey in which Paul Brislen has definitely one-upped me in the realm of "taking your daughter into the men's lavatory" horror stories.
Snap?! I grew up near the Glen Eden end of a stream that led to Titirangi/Konini.
Snap^2. I have also made the trek to follow that stream from source to end. It's the one that starts where the Konini Road reservoir is now, right?
As a lad I also followed the one from Titirangi Primary School. I remember towering waterfalls (probably 3 metres), and then disappointment when it suddenly disappeared into a culvert.
I was also, aged about six, dumbstruck by the diggings of the children at Konini Road primary school. It was like the Huntly mines. Very disappointing when some responsible adults sealed them up with diggers.
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Southerly: My Life As a Palm Tree, in reply to Hilary Stace,
I am now reading how Cubby made his own fireworks when he was a child.
Oh, I did that! I was an irresponsible child as well as an irresponsible parent.
I'm heading off to bed now (midnight in the UK), but I'd be interested in tales of irresponsible and dangerous parent/child behaviour. Did your parents allow you to make fireworks or similar? Do you let your children?
Give me something to cheer me up when I awake to a damp English Monday.
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Glad to be of service, Mr Norkington!
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Southerly: My Life As a Palm Tree, in reply to Ian Dalziel,
Now if 'hanger' had been given to aviation enthusiast Gary Numan, he would've had it as 'hangar'...
Thanks for that, Ian! Now corrected (it's amazing how mistakes can get past).
I figure I'm already screwed in the resthome stakes, so I'm now operating on the "hung for a sheep" system in everything that I write about my children.
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Oh, and ‘pozidriv’ is really spelt that way (not ‘pozidrive’ as you might logically think). I believe the spelling was subcontracted to Noddy Holder from Slade.
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This piece was written at the request of a Public Address reader. He probably wishes to remain anonymous (although I can reveal that his name rhymes with Tat Norkington). All complaints should be directed to him.