Posts by Emma Hart
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Up Front: How About Now?, in reply to Steve Barnes,
My cousin's children alternated Catholic and Presbyterian churches week by week. They've all ended up the kind of Christians who never go to church - despite the eldest girl being given an illustrated Hail Mary by her grandmother, as a 5th birthday present.
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Up Front: How About Now?, in reply to BenWilson,
You stopped him before the "but"?
Heh. Let's all just assume I made the obvious filthy joke, and not embarrass anyone.
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Up Front: How About Now?, in reply to BenWilson,
Also, it is possible that my experience is atypical, and people just tell me stuff.
Last night, out drinking with a male friend, I may have unlocked one of the keys to this. It goes something like this:
Him: And I mean, okay, she's hot...
Me: Oh hell yeah. I'd hit that. -
Up Front: How About Now?, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,
Yeah, the contraceptive pill and I do not get on. Yay for long-term relationships and vasectomies. And yeah, also, self-control and I have some Issues.
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Up Front: How About Now?, in reply to BenWilson,
For instance, how many people on your last thread on prostitution spoke of their own personal experiences?
Yeah, that's different because it's public. But I've certainly had conversations with male friends of mine about their encounters with prostitutes. And we've had conversations over at The Lady Garden (that's the one where we redefine sex), which seems to have become a place where people (some of them necessarily pseudonymous) feel comfortable having serious and intimate conversations about sexual experience - possibly because the site feels smaller and less public.
Also, it is possible that my experience is atypical, and people just tell me stuff.
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Up Front: How About Now?, in reply to Megan Wegan,
Which frankly, still surprises me.
Yeah, sorry, I dunno where my head was at.
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Southerly: Tower Insurance Have Some Bad…, in reply to 3410,
We're now about, what? about 14 weeks out from an election. Is it an issue that certain commitments from govt./business/other should or must be extracted before then?
I don't think anyone's expecting anything to change after the election. Nor are we expecting to be able to change anything. The worst-hit areas of Chch already all voted in Labour MPs...
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Up Front: How About Now?, in reply to BenWilson,
It’s one of the most useful things about reading your work, too. Your frankness on sexual matters makes for a much deeper look at a lot of things.
Wow, thank you Ben. I dunno if people believe me when I say it, but what I want mostly is for people, not necessarily to agree with me, but to think and talk about things they would normally just take for granted, the assumptions about sex and relationships that we don’t even realise we make.
I’d also have to say that it’s one of the things that guys most get out of each other’s company sometimes, to be able to speak their thoughts about sex, thoughts that could be extremely unpalatable in the company of women
See, interesting, because I tend to consider talking about sex pretty much a waste of time unless it’s in a mixed group, and the more mixed (by gender, sexual preference, etc) the better. But then, I tend to consider absolutely all social occasions improved that way. I really like listening to men talking about sex. How the hell else am I going to find out how they think about it? (not, of course, to imply that men have a sex-hive-mind.)
ETA: That said, I've had some wonderful one-on-one conversations about sex with women. One recently went:
Her: Oh, you should see your face.
Me: Hey, I just... I wasn't expecting the word "blowjob" to appear in that sentence. -
Up Front: How About Now?, in reply to Lilith __,
Without getting unduly personal, I'd love to know if that's the case!
Theoretically, it does seem to make a certain amount of sense. I am also curious.
And... yeah. One thing you realise when doing a lot of reading about and mixing with BDSM and polyamorous people is that the practice of talking about things in a much more explicit manner than most vanilla couples do is really useful. That said... sometimes things just don't work out the way you expect. Say, you go into a relationship looking for it to be primarily sexual and temporary, and fall in love. Or the complete opposite. Sometimes what we think we want turns out to just not work out in practise.
There's a plaque at the crematorium near our house that annoys the piss out of me. It says "Love is not love that changes with the flight of time" (I might have that slightly wrong, it's from memory.) What utter bollocks. People change with time. So does love, that's one of the great things about it. It has to be able to flex, or it'd break.
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Hard News: The Orcon Great Blend 2011 in…, in reply to BenWilson,
Also, I forget names.
Also, just sayin', but everyone is called Stephen.