Posts by Tamsin6
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Up Front: Say When, in reply to Jacqui Dunn,
I think you replied to Jackie not me, right? I didn't actually say what you've quoted.
Whoops - sorry Jacqui, I typed Jacqui, but meant Jackie, hopefully context cleared it up mostly!
Have missed most of subsequent discussion as I've been felled by horrendous throat infection - but I find it hard to keep up with things on here anyway. Partly it's the time difference. Partly it is my inability to keep names straight (sorry again, I hate it when people get my name wrong too).
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But there is no real correlation between body size and unhappiness.
Jacqui, I think that you would have a hard time backing that up - think of the things people do to their bodies when they are unhappy - binging/purging/self-harm of any type has a DIRECT correlation to mental health and well-being.
when they attribute their unhappiness to the fat content of their body? Usually, that's just a very convenient thing to blame, and very often not the real issue
Um, that's what I said. Being fat is something you do to yourself (at times) because you are unhappy. I'm sure you had a fantastic time getting fat as you say above - but I would suggest that many people who eat for comfort or restrict their eating because of issues of control/unhappiness/whatever had a much less than fantastic time getting there. I would further suggest that your experience may be the exception rather than the rule. But hey, I could be wrong and all those miserable people out there who are fat are only unhappy because they allow the perceptions of society at large depress them...
Once again, in my experience, Tamsin, fat has become a very convenient thing to blame for a myriad of problems.
Once again, we are in agreement. Fat is very often a symptom of the deeper problem. Where we do seem to disagree is on whether or not being fat is something to celebrate. Being fat is just - being fat.
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Should society change their attitudes about fat? Absolutely, they must.( And here is where I may diverge from your own experience, and all of this is based on my own observations of not all young women of size, but certainly a great number.) But they is we. If we, who are fat, do not get to that place, deep deep down (and I am not talking about you here, at all. I am not assuming anything about you. ) where there is even a tiny weeny molecule of not liking ourselves, then I would suggest our power to change society becomes diminished. All of us have insecurities, of course we do. About all sorts of things. But to buy into society’s views of us is absolutely not okay.
And here's the rub - I wonder how many of us (sometimes) fat people (and I'm definitely not making assumptions about you Jackie - you seem a remarkably chilled out lady from your posts, but you may be a complete stress bunny in person!) - are fat because we are unhappy, rather than unhappy because we are fat. I am at my fattest when I am unhappy, rather than suddenly realising I am fat and being thrown into a pit of despair. If I was fat when I was happy, I guess it wouldn't be any kind of issue for me, and therefore also not the business of society.
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It certainly wasn't a self-image thing with me - but there are certainly a section of people, maybe even a large section of people, to whom you are completely invisible when you are fat. I wasn't even THAT fat. But I certainly noticed the difference in attitude towards me at different sizes. I'm not saying it is fair, but I'm completely sure it wasn't a neurosis. Being weighed up (as it were) and dismissed is not a nice feeling. I had enough self-posession in public to dismiss the opinions of these idiots, but it seems churlish to then also blame the fat person for being ignored not because the person doing the ignoring is a COMPLETE arse, but because the fattie has the wrong "demeanour". I didn't act as if I didn't deserve to be in the world - I was (and some of my friends might beg to differ) completely normal: chatty, happy, well-dressed, took care of my hair, my whatevers that you do when you are in your 20's - but inescapably, my weight/size/whatever rendered me invisible - to some people. Some idiots, you may say. But don't make it my fault. I absolutely know that the people who care about me are the ones that matter - but I maintain that the fat=invisible example is just as valid as your old=invisible example above. Younger men are often the worst offenders there too, funnily enough.
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Before my life-raft sinks, I would like to point out than men and women alike are to happy to refer to Helen Mirren as the poster-girl for good-looking older women. How much does Mirren's longer locks play a part in this impression (subconciously). If she had a Judi Dench cut, would the impression of Mirren still be the same?
I just happened to be reading the Evening Standard magazine on my way home on the tube this evening and saw a little 2 minute interview snippet with Helen Mirren, attending a Premiere of Brighton Rock I believe, and looking quite stunning in Bruce Oldfield frock. Her hair is shortish. Not to say actually quite short. Not long. In fact, if I knew how to insert a link properly I'd add the one to the article about her recent gamine style change which has made it even shorter...ooooh look - here....(apologies, it is from the Daily Mail...)
Anyway....she had this to say (the questions after these are about Russell Brand's undies, so I have excised because after all, yuck:
What's the key to being so sensational in your sixties?
Lots of help.
Do women get sexier with age?
Not necessarily, no. I think there is nothing quite so wonderful as youth. -
Speaker: Medical Journal, Chapter V, in reply to Pete,
If NZ men are high on the Vas count, does anyone have a reason beyond irreligousity?
Would be curious to hear theoriesPure pragmatism?
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You know Jackie, I started noticing this after around 28 or so. Mind you, I was fatter then. So maybe it isn't just an age thing, it is a size thing too?
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Seems like the people out and about in Cairo are pretty happy with it for now. Were they expecting everyone to just go home now?
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I will turn 40 next month. These days, it's less about what I'm flaunting, and more about what is chafing.
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Muse: TV Review: Good Gods Almighty!, in reply to James Griffin,
Had to look it up. Was compulsion.
http://www.mariephillips.co.uk/ - apparently been optioned by Ben Stiller's company Red Hour.