Island Life: More time with the family
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A remarkable number of teachers (at least in primary schools) agree with this. In fact I had a conversation along these lines with one of my kid's teachers yesterday. Tho... it IS a chance to keep up with the kid's schoolwork.
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mortal panics
That's be SO cool. "OMG TEH GAYZ!!1! *coughchokethud*"
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In her last years at primary school I simply stopped investigating whether homework was set, supervising it, or having anything to do with it. Didn't make a bit of difference as far as I could see, and family life was less stressful.
It makes me sad that children have such structured, planned timetables nowadays. Liberating half an hour is well worth it.
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Homework - well, there are some things that some kids need to just practise, practise, practise to learn, like reading. My eldest daughter was a natural, but my younger daughters are struggling a bit. So with my eldest, I didn't really care if we didn't do the reading homework, but I am much more diligent about reading with, and to, my little girls.
But my older daughter's teacher gets the children to do a task card each week, for no reason other than that they should be doing some homework. WTF! All it does is eat into her much needed down time.
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it's too cold for boys to wear shorts in winter, so my lad will wear long pants?
Have you forgotten what you did when you were a schoolboy?
Bare legs are warmer than wet trouser legs in winter. :) -
As for work-life balance, I have grappled with this too, and failed to come up with a viable solution.
A few years ago, when we were both working full time, and we had three pre-schoolers, I collapsed exhausted one evening when the children were finally in bed, turned to my husband and said, “We need a wife.”
We desperately needed someone to cook, clean, mend, garden, shop for food and clothes, and care for the children.
My husband thought about this for a while, and then said, “But who would sleep with her?”
End of that conversation.
I don't want my kids to spend longer in school - the school day is long enough as it is, and by the end of the week, and then the end of the term, they are very tired. They need more time out of school. Out of school care can be difficult to arrange and expensive, and even then, not very satisfactory, for parents or children. There don't seem to be any good options.
All of which constrains my career choices, considerably. I am riotously over qualified, but my masses of degrees are being used on housewifery these days, in order to support my husband as he gets going in a major new job. That's just a little galling, but the alternative, neglecting our beloved daughters, is not palatable at all.
As for Katherine Rich, whom I admire tremendously - I believe her when she says she's leaving parliament in order to be able to be a mother. It's a choice I have made too. But I wonder if the Nats realise just how many women will be looking sideways at them now, and wondering whether they have any idea about the lives of working mothers, and fathers, for that matter.
Okay, rant over, and link whoring over. It's just that I really have thought long and hard about this, for years, and I can't find a solution. You pressed all my buttons with that post, David.
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I had assumed homework was as much a training exercise as a way to learn more stuff - by this I mean training children to include education in the home environment
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Yikes!!! What a difference an extra letter makes. Of course, I meant 'moral panics'. But 'mortal panics' might make for a good title for a horror movie.
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A propos nothing in particular, I have written elsewhere that milk bars and the 40 hour week both put in an appearance in New Zealand at about the same time, and both vanished about the same time too.
It does seem sinister that families which could once be supported by one man working 40 hours, have in my lifetime moved even beyond needing two full time wages to support them. And both of those wage earners are probably expected to put in more than the basic 8 hours per day.
It's only partly employers pressuring workers to put in more hours, it seems to me. Workers contribute to the situation by ever-escalating notions of what an acceptable standard of living is. Both sides are in need of an attitude shift.
I have known a few enterprising people find their own unconventional solutions to combining careers and family life. One professional couple who alternated two years on, two years off each; they sustained that for 30 years. Another two couples I know worked 2.5 days per week each - the first were finance industry high flyers and the second an electrician/sales assistant combo. None of them sacrificed home ownership, but they certainly eschewed fashion and recreational shopping, because their values did not prioritise it.
I've also worked with a chap who is now CEO of a large local authority and a very smart cookie. In his public service days, in an office with a culture of macho see-how-long-I-can-stay-at-the-office posturing, he flatly refused to work after 5.30pm, and many were the mutterings about him in the Ministry. But his work did not suffer, and he toughed out the grumbling. I hope he is bringing his sane attitudes to work still, now that he is a major employer himself.
But it's going to be a long time before sanity prevails in community towards extended work hours - too many of the decisionmakers have got too much to profit from it staying the way they have pushed it in the last 20 years. And too many of those who set the bars are not dealing with difficulty or compromise in their own lives so have no empathy with those who are.
(Emma, I do feel for you in your situation. Life throws most of us some curve balls and it's amazing how we adapt as best we can. But what a loss to the country of skills and talents when business and government operate in "15 hour days or nothing" mode. )
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she simply informed their teachers at the start of each year (in elementary school) that "my child won't be doing homework.... Any ideas on whether this would fly in NZ?
I haven't gone that far, but I have previously told a teacher that he will do 15 minutes maximum of homework, and if it takes more than that then it'll be going back to school with a note saying that too much homework was given. The teacher agreed that was fair, and my son never missed out on lunch time or any other activities as a result.
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A couple of emails I've had are worth adding here:
1. On the economics of modern employment:
Why is it so easy for people to acknowledge that the "rules" of home ownership have obviously changed since our parents embarked on the adventure, yet the just as obvious corollary that the rules of earning a livable household income have also changed is either resisted or avoided? I thought economic policy was meant to reflect social reality, and obviously I'm a dreamer, but if we legislated to remove tax breaks for property speculators and made childcare a cost of working and thus eligible for total tax subsidy, you might start shifting the balance.
2. On Katherine Rich, one asks:
Don't you think it all smells a bit like a pre-emptive jump?
And another:
Sure after 3 terms and now she gets a pension.
Sorry I believe her as much as I believe Nandor.
Isn't it funny how so many politicians need 3 terms to discover that politics isn't really the right career for them. But it's Ok because they have done so much for country in their 3 terms that they really deserve the lifetime pension.
Have to go wash the sarcasm off my hands now.
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It does seem sinister that families which could once be supported by one man working 40 hours, have in my lifetime moved even beyond needing two full time wages to support them. And both of those wage earners are probably expected to put in more than the basic 8 hours per day.
And yet in Standard 4 (in the 70s) I distinctly remember being told in Social Studies that in the future (ie when I was an adult) we would all be working only 20 hours a week because machines would do so much work for us and we would have increased leisure time. Obviously he was wrong (it was a serious lesson, none of your Jet Car BS) on that but he was right about in the future knowledge and information would be a commodity and people would have to pay for it.
At the time I dismissed the latter, unable to comprehend how anyone could charge for knowledge and information since it was all there for free in the newspaper or a library...
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Two things...
will folk now drop the niggle about the PM and respect the choices she has made...
and perhaps Rich actually believed in this centerist lurch the National party is allegedly doing, given that she stood up to Don Brash over (I think it was) DPB bashing, and so didn't really fit in?
IE when your party is trying to be vague and cuddly and saying 'underclass' type things for the sake of marketing and electability, it doesn't help knowing that they are ideologies of convience if you think they should be more than that?
...
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Re: Homework. Prior to working from home, I never did any homework for any employer, ever. So I'm not sure what all that homework at school was training me for. My Mum is a teacher, and she was always marking homework at home. I often wondered if it was some kind of grudge feedback loop, that teachers were bitter on working longer hours than the kids so they did something about that.
I recall my final years at school being extremely grueling in a way that nothing has ever been since, being heavily into sports and shooting for good grades. I was in a state of constant mental and physical exhaustion and it is no wonder that I had no desire to continue living like that the moment I had a choice in the matter.
Personally today, I'm not good for extended periods of heavy mental activity. I'm really productive for about 4 hours a day. Outside of that, I'm good only for brainless chores or entertainment. I suspect I was always like that, but the 8 hour day forced on us by school was simply a way of compensating for the fact that the official 6 hours simply wouldn't go in, and the last 2 hours of school basically needed to be repeated in the evening. At least 2 hours every day were just muck around time, and the trick was to pick which 2. I tended to choose PE (since I was already doing far too much sport), and whatever subject I was doing poorly in. Or 'study break', which I took literally.
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And yet in Standard 4 (in the 70s) I distinctly remember being told in Social Studies that in the future (ie when I was an adult) we would all be working only 20 hours a week because machines would do so much work for us and we would have increased leisure time.
So much depends on the definition. Is making dinner work? Is driving to work work? Is lunch break at work work? Is studying also work?
I've been shooting for the 20 hour week forever, but my compromise has been that I do 20 quality hours. My output seems to have remained constant from when I kidded myself that I did 50 quality hours of work.
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Katherine Rich was on NatRad this AM, and when asked about the pension thing replied that her intake of MPs would not be eligible until age 65.
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I never did homework while at skool.
Won't be making my offspring do it either. Don't want to start sending those stupid protestant work ethic crap signals.
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Re: Homework. Prior to working from home, I never did any homework for any employer, ever.
Can't believe I'm defending homework (my 14 y/o self is hating me right now) but I think it's more about "working/learning/investigating things for yourself", than actually "working at home". Which is a huge part of any job. It's better than only having things taught to you in a class.
In 7th form I went to a new high school where the day was 8:45am - 4:45pm, with five 90 minute class "blocks" - you tended to only have an actual class for 3 or 4 of those a day so "homework" was meant to be done in the free blocks (stress on the "meant"). Was certainly a more accurate representation of work life and university... -
The principal at my kids' decile 10 state primary school sent a note round very early on last year saying homework isn't the norm at his school as there was no great evidence it worked and home time was best spent playing and being with family and all the learning that goes with that.
reading between the lines he was saying - stop being so angsty you silly wmc parents - your kids will do much better sharing your time than doing stuff they should be doing at school in the first place
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Re: the school holiday vs work holiday disparity, aren't there more options than just giving workers more holidays or kids more school? Something like providing extra stuff for kids that's fun and useful. Camps, trips, sports, holiday programmes etc.
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How about giving the kids a siesta in the middle of the day? Could be an opportunity to have marae style dinners and "sleepovers" in the middle of the day. I think they have this style of siesta in France?
And don't forget to add in all the sick days kids have - you can expect each child to have at least 10 days off sick a year, unless they're strappingly healthy.
One option I've seen work well is an extended family - mum, dad & four kids live in one wing of the house, granny & a brother have their own sleep/living quarters and they share kitchen/laundry/garden. Granny looks after the kids after school & when sick, unless they're really crook, sometimes they go to a care place after school & hols (for variety or if it gets too much for gran).
Rampant capitalism depends on splitting family or communal units up - individuals have to buy "their own" everything, rather than share. The pendulum will swing back, I reckon and people will start developing living situations that are much more flexible - sharing chores, childcare etc but having a separate personal space where they can be private.
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A bit late into the conversation re homework, but this week at my kids primary school the parents were told by the Principal that homework is NOT compulsory, so cannot be enforced.
A recent survey of parents showed huge variations of expectation - from wanting no homework to 2 hours per night! As a result of the survey, the school has cut back on the amount to be set by the teachers. It generally consists of reading, with the occasional bit of project work, and only 4 nights per week.
We were also told about the studies that showed that the amount of homework had no influence on achievement. Basically if kids are doing well at school they will do the homework well, and vice-versa.
This is all from a good school with an ambitious headmaster, and one that does well in comparisons with other schools.
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daleaway said:
have known a few enterprising people find their own unconventional solutions to combining careers and family life. One professional couple who alternated two years on, two years off each; they sustained that for 30 years. Another two couples I know worked 2.5 days per week each - the first were finance industry high flyers and the second an electrician/sales assistant combo. None of them sacrificed home ownership, but they certainly eschewed fashion and recreational shopping, because their values did not prioritise it.
Option 2 (two adults each working half-time) is likely much more sensible than Option 1 (one adult working full-time) under the current income tax regime, where couples can't split incomes for tax purposes.
e.g., the tax burden on 2 x $35k is much lower than the tax burden on 1 x $70k.
Of course, when determining eligibility for a benefit or entitlement from the state, couples' income is split. A friend of mine was recently unemployed for 6 months but ineligible for a benefit because his partner had a reasonable job.
Nice double standard there!
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My own experience of returning to work after starting a family has been very positive (well, as positive as it could be - I would rather have the option of full time caring for my son (or his Dad doing it) but not possible financially...). We are fortunate to have both sets of grandparents in town and falling over themselves to care for my 7 month old son when I'm at work (full time) - he spends four hours with one set of grandparents and four hours with the otherswe are very fortunate in having this support. But also, my employer has been fantastic. My (male) boss is totally flexible with my hours. A private room has been set aside for me to express milk twice during the working day (and I am the only employee doing this from a team of over 100). Most of my colleagues are aware that I am expressing milk for my son and are really supportive of it (and my need to scoot off at sometimes inconvenient times to do it). I recognise that my circumstances are probably not the norm (given what I have read here and in other threads elsewhere), but just wanted to add my experience to the mix.
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Can't believe I'm defending homework (my 14 y/o self is hating me right now) but I think it's more about "working/learning/investigating things for yourself"
I don't know any kids who would do homework if it wasn't set. Those who are inclined to "working/learning/investigating things for themselves" already do. The rest aren't doing it "for themselves", they're doing it so as to get grades, not get detention etc.
I have no doubt that homework adds something to what kids learn. But I think the value returned for the time spent is really poor. I spent a hell of a lot of time after school programming my home computer. This was not at all related to any school work, and school work got in the way of it quite often. OK, I learned 'wider' things than what I was naturally inclined to, since there's no way I'd have been doing hundreds of maths exercises if I followed natural inclinations. Instead, I was learning the maths that I actually used, in great detail. Often it was maths that doesn't ever get taught, like logic.
Also, relaxing is important to me. Knowing how to separate work and home life is part of that. The divide was getting pretty blurry in 6th form when I'd be doing homework for hours at night instead of sleeping (because that was the only time available), then getting up at the crack of dawn to train for the school sports team, and yawning all day through classes. It couldn't last, and it didn't.
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