Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Food and drink

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  • Sacha,

    Explosions aren't really my thing.

    Then you probably wouldn't enjoy Farrier's expedition in search o the Mongolian death worm.

    The pair leave for Mongolia on Tuesday and will be joined there by a team of three: a cook, a translator and a driver. They will spend two weeks camping in the Gobi Desert, and as the worm is supposedly attracted to tremors, they will set off some explosions to try to draw it to the surface.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • Hilary Stace,

    Why?

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    Uh, explosions. Tenuous link to a story with a funny picture, I know. As you were.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • Hilary Stace,

    I mean why would they want to go all that way to disturb a poor worm?

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    Reckon it's just a great lark. If the deathworm even exists, sounds like there's a chance it will be the one doing the disturbing.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    __Yes, I wouldn't be caught dead buying ready-made pesto. If nothing else, it's cheaper than making your own and there's gotta be a reason for that.__

    Scale?

    Given for what passes for 'parmesan' around here, I have strong doubts they'd buy the right ingredients.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Kerry Weston,

    Have a look on the salt packets ingredient list. There is an ingredient called "anti caking agent" its real name is potassium ferrocyanide. Its relatively stable until its mixed with acid. Then it produces hydrogen cyanide gas.

    Is this what causes evil farts?

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Parmesan Norf?
    or should that be the more southerly Dip-Ton?
    Ya can't go past these fine foods by master chef Giovanni - never one to mince words... :- )

    Tequila Mocking Worm...
    I was Gobi-smacked that these inveterate invertebrate molesters would go to such great lengths to tape worms, sustained I guess on a diet of Bangers and Mash or maybe Nematode-in-the-hole...

    ...let them strut and fret across the Mongolian wastes ... we all know
    "...that the play is the tragedy, "Man,"
    And its hero, the Conqueror Worm.

    yrs rottenly
    Eddy Poe's Tissue
    whose that knockin' at the door?

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Islander,

    Ian, another corker - vermiferously yours!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report

  • Kong,

    Yes, I wouldn't be caught dead buying ready-made pesto. If nothing else, it's cheaper than making your own and there's gotta be a reason for that.

    Scale?

    Given for what passes for 'parmesan' around here, I have strong doubts they'd buy the right ingredients.

    You make your own parmesan? Wow. I bet that one's harder to do cheaper than a milk factory.

    I also think Brinkley was being silly with the evil chemical line. There's plenty of perfectly natural stuff that's deadly too. I have a lovely bush of Deadly Nightshade berries in my back yard now, which I found hiding in amongst my cherry tomatoes. Sprinkle a few of those berries in your pesto and you'll know all about it. 100% natural tasty death in an easy spreadable form.

    Since Jul 2009 • 89 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    You make your own parmesan? Wow. I bet that one's harder to do cheaper than a milk factory.

    I don't, but if I have cousins who do and if I tried I'm pretty sure I'd do a better job of it than Kapiti Cheeses. Then again, who wouldn't?

    Ya can't go past these fine foods by master chef Giovanni - never one to mince words... :- )

    Now why would somebody called Giovanni name a pate "italienne"? That's just confusing.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Deborah,

    Merci beaucoup, Danielle. I might have a go at making those next Sunday (Saturday is no good; I have to get up early to take my elder daughter to her netball game by 8.30am).

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report

  • Joe Wylie,

    Nematode-in-the-hole...

    Heh! Or maybe an encounter with Captain Nematode.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report

  • Kong,

    I don't, but if I have cousins who do and if I tried I'm pretty sure I'd do a better job of it than Kapiti Cheeses. Then again, who wouldn't?

    I feel fairly sure that I wouldn't. But I'm even more sure I'd never try. If I wanted flash parmesan that bad, I'd surely just fork out for some foreign stuff.

    Since Jul 2009 • 89 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    If I wanted flash parmesan that bad, I'd surely just fork out for some foreign stuff.

    There isn't flash parmesan and unflash parmesan. There is Parmigiano Reggiano and then cheeses that just go by that name because there is no justice in this world. As I've had cause to remark a few times, the Kapiti Parmesan tastes of feet, and yet until the recent surge in the Euro it cost more than the real thing. It possibly still does, I'd have to check. At any rate, you need Parmigiano or at least Grana Padano for pesto. If you use something else, that's fine, but don't call it pesto, that's just making a buck out of the toil of somebody else.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Islander,

    I think pesto may have fallen into the class of makizushi and oporto...there is the original food, and then there are local variants. Pesto has grown to mean - not just in Big O - green leafy stuff, vegetable oil, nuts & some kind of cheese all compounded together. Struth, I've seen *tomato* peso!

    It's like trying to protect the genuine old-established 'toil of other person' especial food from innate human creativity and The Omnivorous Language - i.e ordering the sea to stay where it is.

    We creative wee apes will play with anything we can, and English will take over the nearest available word.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report

  • Kong,

    Heh, all class. My annoying father in law insists that unless you peel potatoes, then boil them, they aren't real potatoes, either. I gave up long ago, and just accept that I'm eating pseudopotatoes.

    Since Jul 2009 • 89 posts Report

  • Geoff Lealand,

    The pair leave for Mongolia on Tuesday and will be joined there by a team of three: a cook, a translator and a driver. They will spend two weeks camping in the Gobi Desert, and as the worm is supposedly attracted to tremors, they will set off some explosions to try to draw it to the surface.

    Is this for real? It sounds much too like one of my family's favourite movies: Tremors (dir. Ron Underwood, 1990)

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2562 posts Report

  • Kong,

    We creative wee apes will play with anything we can, and English will take over the nearest available word.

    It's incredible like that. But to be fair to the genuine pesto toilers, English should Anglicize it into something like Parmesan. Pestoil perhaps? Is it kinder on a word to steal it and misuse it, or bastardize it, or just ignore it? Which is the greater good, or the lesser evil (depending how you see it). Stealing it means the bitterness of knowing that people are eating something and thinking it's pesto, and if it's crap, blaming that on Italians. Bastardizing it means the bitterness of hearing a lovely word from your old language strangled to death. And ignoring it completely and making up a new word, whilst of course being totally derivative of a good from another culture, is the ultimate in theft, where someone gets to actually claim they've come up with something new, just by changing the name.

    Steal a man's pesto and you rob him for a day. Steal his recipe for pesto and you rob him for life.

    Since Jul 2009 • 89 posts Report

  • Islander,

    That's an interesting one: you know that what was makizushi became the English generic sushi; oporto became port, and champagne (with
    my gentle assistance) is becoming champane. And so, kedgeree, madeira,curry,chocolate, barbecue...it's not just the word, the dish mutates also - and frequently the process: umukai/hangi made with railway iron and the kai in aluminium foil? Ae. Pesto may very well change as a word - 2 decades ago you wouldnt find it in a supermarket, let alone make a version of it. Panta rhei-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Have a look on the salt packets ingredient list. There is an ingredient called "anti caking agent" its real name is potassium ferrocyanide. Its relatively stable until its mixed with acid. Then it produces hydrogen cyanide gas.

    I hardly touch ordinary salt since I found http://www.smokeandspice.co.nz/:

    Smoke and Spiced Solar Salt.
    Marlborough Solar Salt is smoked by hand, and then tumble roasted with garlic, shallots, coriander and the mighty chilli! The result is one of the finest seasonings in the world. Suitable for both shakers and grinders, the sensational Smoke and Spiced Solar Salt will enhance all foods, elevating them to the heights of culinary Nirvana.

    The smell alone is enough to drive a man wild.

    See also their manuka smoked garlic bulbs. Wowsers.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • Peter Ashby,

    @Giovanni

    I thought pesto was the name for the process originally not the product? so you can make pesto out of anything you want in effect. I make one out of very finely chopped (I chop very finely):
    olives (green and/or black), a cheese (feta often), spring onions or chives, crushed garlic and whatever fresh herbs I feel like held together with a smidgeon of tomato paste (sun dried is good, ordinary is fine too) and some olive oil. Season to taste.

    I then take however many whole chicken legs as there are persons to feed and free the skin. Under the skin I place teaspoonfulls of the pesto before smearing it over the meat through the skin. Roast for 50min at 180C (ours is a fan oven). The skin goes crispy and the juices that come out can be used straight or as the basis of a lightly thickened sauce with some wine.

    I also do that with Italian basil and parmesan (The Proper Stuff) pesto from the supermarket. They have other varieties of pesto too. But I don't call that cooking, that is just fast food.

    Dundee, Scotland • Since May 2007 • 425 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    Fast food is when you're trying to catch the chicken.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • Peter Ashby,

    Or the tender looking deer I startled at the side of the road on my long run this morning? It bounded away into a tall field of barley, but then stuck it's head up to see if I was following. If I was armed that shot was easy.

    Dundee, Scotland • Since May 2007 • 425 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    And barley-fed, for a taste bonus.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

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