Field Theory by Hadyn Green

Down by 20 points Smash Malice takes the lead jammer position through Braxton Kicks. Braxton was close to not skating, her sister was giving birth that day and she came straight from the hospital.

I was expecting the next sentence to read, "But it turned out her sister wasn't in labour - it was just some Braxton Hicks contractions."

Look out Auckland! Wanna show Wellington how it's done? The Pirate City Rollers are having their first bout in The City!

Step aside kickboxing! The YMCA Pitt Street has a new big hitting, crowd pulling sport under its belt, and 21 August bout is going to be a show that you cannot miss!

With a keen mixture of hard-hitting sporty ladies, fun-filled half-time entertainment and cheap-as-chips food and drink, roller derby is fun for all the family. Still not convinced? Entry into this amazing bout will also garner you discounted entry to the massive afterparty at K’Road’s Whammy Bar; just follow the giant drum procession from YMCA’s doors!

It was a great show, just a pity you can't put some f*cking integrity on your snapper card. If I want to hear sponsor names mentioned every 20 seconds I'll watch the IPL.

Don't let Michael worry you too much Hayden, I thought the Snapper love was quite endearing - though could possibly tone it down in future bouts - first time's funny and all that.

Actually thought the commentary team was pretty good, Auckland bloke was good on providing some insight into what was going on (when he wasn't encouraging excess drinking) which was probably useful given how many people hadn't ever been before.

Y'all did good.

speaking of...

...hicks contractions

I had never realised that goodbye
was a contraction of God be with you!

..sorry back to the jammy tarts ...
:- )

If I want to hear sponsor names mentioned every 20 seconds I'll watch the IPL.

Was it only every 20 seconds? Damn. The sponsorship agreement required one mention every 15 seconds.

It was a great show, just a pity you can't put some f*cking integrity on your snapper card. If I want to hear sponsor names mentioned every 20 seconds I'll watch the IPL.

Sorry about that, it was a joke from the start. They were one of the major sponsors and had asked us to say lines that were five times as cheesy as what we ended up saying. So instead we made a joke out of it.

Auckland bloke was good on providing some insight into what was going on

He's the best MC in the country, I learn at his feet

..sorry back to the jammy tarts ...
:- )

Dude, using Polyvore to make outfits for roller derby is so last year.

So instead we made a joke out of it.

And we shouldn't have. There's no place for jokes in serious sports commentary.

He's the best MC in the country, I learn at his feet

I concur.

There's no place for jokes in serious sports commentary.

Murray Mexted.

Don't let Michael worry you too much Hayden, I thought the Snapper love was quite endearing - though could possibly tone it down in future bouts - first time's funny and all that.

No, let Michael worry you Hayden. By the middle of the game, everyone remotely near me was groaning and rolling their eyes whenever you mentioned Snapper. They're not a popular company to start with, lets be honest, and standing in a big long queue with my prepaid ticket while a handful of snapper users waltzed straight through the door did not endear them to us before the game.

Fact is, we're not there for the MCs, or for the sponsors. We're there for the derby, and you were detracting from your commentary and the game with all that annoying, inane Snapper prattle. We're not stupid and we know when you're talking about the derby, and when you're just cramming sponsorship bollocks down our necks.

And it was a great game.

Congrats Derbyers! 3500 people is outstanding. Bump into Shane up at Radioactive who remarked that it was by far the biggest number of people he'd DJ'd in front of.

[I guess few here know what Braxton Hicks contractions are...]

[we know]

[I guess few here know what Braxton Hicks contractions are...]

I had a good laugh, Robyn.

Practice does make perfect

We're far from perfect yet, thanks Hadyn, but I think we're improving slowly with each bout. The next bout can't come soon enough.

You have reminded me of a quote from Magnum photographer Elliott Erwitt though: "Everything you need to know about photography is on the box, the rest is practise."

Brilliant night of entertainment! Good on ya derbers. Great photos Jed and Mike!

But yes, a big cringe to Snapper and it's attempts to dominate the night everywhere - from its signage, to its purchasing control points, to its uniforms and whole staff turnout to take over a pile of seating. Sponsorship is one thing but trying to pretend the show's yours is another. I might just throw my card away.

[I guess few here know what Braxton Hicks contractions are...]

I don't think us mild mannered Cramps fans are falsely labouring under any misconceptions...
;- )

[Yay!]

This just in, attendance for international netball matches in New Zealand last year:

Wellington - 2304
Rotorua - 2497
Auckland Trusts - 2164
Invercargill - 2707
Auckland Vector - 5273

So derby beat everything but Vector... next stop, the Caketin!