Field Theory by Hadyn Green

Jose was outside having a smoke and Jules was in the kitchen getting a hotdog.

There's good blog post in missing vital sports moments. I missed Mike Tyson biting Holyfield 'cos I was in the loo, for example. Hearing the excitement going on down the hall I almost had a nasty accident trying to... rush things.

And (apologies Hadyn), the level of excitement generated over HALF TIME is a good example of why I find most US sport utterly baffling. NOTHING sporting can be made better by adding the gang from Friends.

I like to think that in 40 years time, some guy is going to talk about how, at the age of 8, Janet Jackson's Superbowl nip slip was the very first time he had seen a naked lady's tittie and the day he decided he wanted to be a [thing wot he is very famous and successful for in 2048].

There's good blog post in missing vital sports moments. I missed Mike Tyson biting Holyfield 'cos I was in the loo, for example.

'cept my "problem" is that I don't miss them. I saw Tyson bite Holyfield.

I even saw the streaker in the 2004 Superbowl right after the nipple slip. No one else (exaggeration) even remembers it. I was remember being shocked that someone could get onto the field (it being the security-conscious post-911 era and all). He was leveled by linebacker Teddy Bruschi.

For example at the ruck in rugby there are very few options: pick run right, pick run left, pick run middle, kick over, kick left, kick right, pass left, pass right. However if you can disguise your options somehow, then the defence will be on the back foot (for example the league-style kicks used a lot in rugby now).

Which is why having left and right-footed first and second five-eighths is so useful in Union. You can set them on both sides of a ruck and know that both kick and run plays are possible on both sides of the field (plus that finding touch on both sides of the field is possible from either side of the ruck - a nightmare for fullbacks) - not quite the same as the A-11 lineup but a code-specific comparason. It's why I was sorry to see McAlistair go and why Barnes injury was a big loss to the Wallabies.

We need to add knockon, forward pass and accidental off side left, right and up the middle.

Then the referee has 1,785 options up his sleeve if he knows the rule book well enough.

On the issue of missing or not missing great sporting moment, anybody see that moment when the dude came down into the ring during that heavyweight fight with one of those propeller driven parachute thingees and the entourage proceeded to beat the shit out of him.

Now there ladies and gentlement was truth being way the fuck stranger than fiction.

For any who may not have seen it, The Onion:

U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially Exposed Breast On TV

Does the Justin Marshall / Andy Ellis routine of poncing about at the back of a ruck / maul looking round like a mercat searching for rapidly diminishing options for 20 seconds count?

For any who may not have seen it, The Onion:

Thanks Lyndon. I remembered that after I posted.

The parachuting dude took his own life in 2002.

Amazing what you find on the internet... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_Man

Weird. My recollection is that I was watching the unveiling with you. I'm sure both of us turned to each other with a "did you just see that" look on our faces.

But to be honest I was so out of it ...

For example at the ruck in rugby there are very few options: pick run right, pick run left, pick run middle, kick over, kick left, kick right, pass left, pass right. However if you can disguise your options somehow, then the defence will be on the back foot (for example the league-style kicks used a lot in rugby now).

I was at Eden Park the evening that Carlos Spencer executed the perfect banana kick.

He received the ball outside the opposition 22 and kicked for the corner -- or that's what everyone thought. That's the way he was looking for goodness sake, and where the arc of his boot was pointing. It was the only possible direction the ball could be going.

But actually, the ball looped high in the other direction, off the outside of his boot, to be caught and dotted down under the crossbar by Doug Howlett, without a tackler near him. I had to watch the big screen replay to work out what the hell had happened.

Weird. My recollection is that I was watching the unveiling with you. I'm sure both of us turned to each other with a "did you just see that" look on our faces.

But to be honest I was so out of it ...

Constructed memories are weird things. But one thing is certain: when Helen Clark rang us up straight afterwards and was like "WTF!" and we were all "yeah Helen that was nuts!"

But actually, the ball looped high in the other direction, off the outside of his boot, to be caught and dotted down under the crossbar by Doug Howlett, without a tackler near him. I had to watch the big screen replay to work out what the hell had happened.

You can see some Carlos magic, but not the try you've mentioned, here.

Ī totally blame Carlos Spencer for the trend of every halfback and first-five attempting those kicks at every touch of the ball for the years following.

when Helen Clark rang us up straight afterwards and was like "WTF!" and we were all "yeah Helen that was nuts!"

Hang on, I thought that was Judith Tizard. No wait, I remember: she was in the tub.

With John Banks if I recall, quite the scandal.

U.S. Children Still Traumatized One Year After Seeing Partially Exposed Breast On TV

Upstanding Wellingtonians traumatised at the mere prospect that their fellow citizens may not be hauled away for taking their shirts off at the beach. Thinkin of the children again:

Have you seen the massive play park next to oriental bay? Don't you think some of the parents don't want their children to see an old hags' sags? Where do those children then go to play???

Why is this all of a sudden acceptable to be nude in the public eye? I guess the next thing you would tell me is that it has got nothing to do with one of the world's highest percentage of people with STD? Or sex in schools that are getting out of control? Or children that have a 'don't care' attitude, and basically do as they please...? You clearly forgot that is our future!

Heaven knows what they'd make of your hot tub..

Best comment on that page:

Naked surf fishing! I can't wait to get my tackle out....