Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a man
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I have never been more convinced of my own utter uselessness.
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Spelling Hemingway properly - is that manly enough :-)
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If anyone has any advances on: "take foot off accelerator, point wheel in direction you'd ideally be going, resist urge to slam on brakes really hard, hope for the best" ... well, I'm all ears.
When I was a little younger, I had the good fortune to roll a car and walk away unhurt (A fairly impressive feat on the backroads of the Coromandel). Since then, I have come to realise that maneuvering a car out of a skid is not manly skill - it is the avoidance of skid-able situations that is the skill it pays to have.
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You have to "do a man"? :)
Don't knock it until you've tried it...
Thinking about alternate lists, there could also be:
25 things a woman should be able to do
1. Resist the urge to smack the author of lists like this in the head with a frozen leg of lamb.
2. Rinse.
3, Repeat until you're firmly in your happy place.
:)
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I have never been more convinced of my own utter uselessness.
If it helps, Danielle, we could make that list of 'things a lady should be able to do', and then gleefully celebrate not being able to do any of them.
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it is the avoidance of skid-able situations that is the skill it pays to have
and also for getting a car unstuck.
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If anyone has any advances on: "take foot off accelerator, point wheel in direction you'd ideally be going, resist urge to slam on brakes really hard, hope for the best" ... well, I'm all ears.
Works in a rear wheel drive. In a front wheel drive you may actually have to do the same but get your foot back on the gas. This is to overcome the effect of the engine braking the front wheels.
As it's popular mechanic I'm surprised not to see: welding, fibreglass work, attacking something with a gas torch, spray painting. The list of useful DIY skills is endless.
Of course, the most manly thing is to pulp your thumb with a hammer or lacerate body parts with a saw. Extra points if you swear, grunt a few times and bandage it with a poultice of blood soaked sawdust before returning to what you're doing.
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it is the avoidance of skid-able situations that is the skill it pays to have
A pity that concise prose is not on the list. Oh well, one less item for me to fail.
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welding, fibreglass work, attacking something with a gas torch, spray painting
- Do not weld fibreglass
- Do not use a gas torch whilst spray painting -
Of course, the most manly thing is to pulp your thumb with a hammer or lacerate body parts with a saw. Extra points if you swear, grunt a few times and bandage it with a poultice of blood soaked sawdust before returning to what you're doing.
My partner put a concrete drill through his upper arm. How manly is that?
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Jo S,
If it helps, Danielle, we could make that list of 'things a lady should be able to do', and then gleefully celebrate not being able to do any of them.
I'm quite glad I don't know how to make those delicate looking cucumber or watercress sandwiches.
They creep me out.
Give me a bacon buttie any day. -
My partner put a concrete drill through his upper arm. How manly is that?
I'm not even sure how that's possible.
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My partner put a concrete drill through his upper arm. How manly is that?
Sounds more like a magic trick to me.
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Keeping in mind that we men do not generally live in isolation from the delectable females of our species, I would think there's one skill not mentioned to date that should be high on any list of manly qualities.
Locating the G-spot!
A much more valuable skill than most on that list and not generally the type of job I'd be keen to outsource.
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Locating the G-spot!
Mate, I think you'll find that, on the whole, women are far better at this than men are.
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Jack London
Oh yeah. Taming a wild wolf dog and all that tobogganing.
Man's work.
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I would add: "Bury deceased family pets".
And come up with convincing lies about how Floppy Muffkins died, because you accidentally backed the trailer over it.
VERY surprised mending a fuse isn't anywhere on the lists.
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Locating the G-spot!
Mate, I think you'll find that, on the whole, women are far better at this than men are.
Hence the need to hone your skills grasshopper. Become adept and the world is your oyster*
*results may vary.
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I don't know or can do or have ever done any of those 25 'manly' things but I can, do know how and have "done a man".
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VERY surprised mending a fuse isn't anywhere on the lists.
I did that a lot in our old place. The correct gauge wire for the fuse kept burning out so we bought thicker stuff. Maybe not the safest thing to do, but it felt good fixin' stuff.
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I suppose we might add:
- change a nappy
- kill a rat with a spade
- whip up a spreadsheetSpecialization is for insects.
I'd like my leaks repaired by a plumber and my tumour removed by a surgeon, thanks.
While in theory I could manage most things on the list, I am happy in the knowledge that a chap can employ another chap to take care of the tedious business for him. Now be a dear and mix me another daiquiri, won't you?
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Mate, I think you'll find that, on the whole, women are far better at this than men are.
I thought the G Spot was an urban legend -- but what the hell do I know? It all sounds like the sexual equivalent of taking the kids to the mall for school shoes. The perfect pair might exist, it might not, but you can't help but wonder if the end justifies the effort.
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I thought the G Spot was an urban legend -- but what the hell do I know? It all sounds like the sexual equivalent of taking the kids to the mall for school shoes. The perfect pair might exist, it might not, but you can't help but wonder if the end justifies the effort.
Jeez Craig, and here was me thinking you were a man of the world!
In my experience the Graf is no myth, just easier to locate for some than others. Even your sweetheart potentially has one....so I respectfully suggest you put some time aside for exploring; it may result in many good things..
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kill a rat with a spade
I killed one with a broom, does that count?
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I killed a mouse with a can of beer, does that count?
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