Field Theory by Hadyn Green

59

The Undertaker is Hamlet

Is sport art? This is something I've been thinking about ever since I managed to shake my Olympic fever (only to have it replaced with an actual flu).

I'm not talking about the marketing of sport, nor about the analysis or commentary of sports. Just the presentation of human athletic ability.

If a man runs the 100m in 9.69 seconds is that art? What if he does it in front of an audience?

The answer obviously depends on how you define art and, to a certain extent, how you define sport. The definition of art I've always liked is the one put forward by Scott McLeod in Understanding Comics:

Art is anything you don't do to survive.

This definition is, like nearly all definitions of esoteric concepts, problematic. For a start it considers earning money to be something you do to survive, which means that any writer or musician or dancer or painter who makes money isn't considered an artist. Luckily this is a small group (he jokes).

For many sports it's easy to say they are some kind of art. Gymnastics (especially the rhythmic type) is already very close to dance. The same goes for ice skating and synchronised swimming. In fact you could say that they are all just types of dance that we score.

And is that the divide? Scoring? Saying that one performance is better than another? If so it's a pretty thin line. Film and music competitions are a dime a dozen. As are awards for painting, writing and sculpture.

But what about the big burly man-sports like rugby? There's none of your lesbian PC art there, mate. Or at least I'm sure that's what Sir Brian Lochore thinks.

To get better idea of the artistry involved in a game of rugby I would suggest watching a game of American Football where the elements of the sport are separated and clearly seen. Running, throwing, blocking, catching, tackling. Each requires pure technique, and in the American version of the oval ball sport each player is an expert in his one role. Every player is a chess piece. In this case the coach can be seen as the artist directing the pieces into place.

The images of sport have long been considered a type of art. Pictures of humans in their physical peak have been created for centuries, going all the way back to cave drawings. Sting enough of these images together and the moving pictures broadcast through our televisions become like movies.

And then there is that pursuit that clearly has a foot deep into the art pool: Professional Wrestling.

It has all the elements for good theatre: drama; comedy; romance; fantastic costumes; good guys; bad guys; music; and of course, conflict. As for sport it is very clear that, despite the unreality of the competition, the wrestlers really are very athletic. And as art forms go, wrestlers have as many fans as any actor.

Personally my answer to "Is sport art?" is "Sometimes". For me art resides with the artist. If an athlete is doing something strictly to make money, then they are not an artist (same goes for anyone in the music/writing/etc business). But if they are doing it for love or to entertain then, yes, sport is art.

8

Photo Finish

K'Boom! Powpowpowpow! Shhhing shhhing. Ting! BOOM! Clat-clat-clat p'ting! Fssssst.

The Beijing Olympics closing ceremony exploded and I'm fairly sure that it actually happened this time (if not there are some animators who Weta really need to chase down). And you know what? It was pretty fun too.

The athletes were allowed to run in stadium and a fair few had a skin-full; I think that includes the Aussie girl who got at Yao Ming's ear. The big tower covered in red and silver people was awesome and the way they de-lit the flame was quietly sublime (though the fake aircraft boarding sucked).

Yep it was a visual feast. Sadly the only problem is that it was on at midnight. Still no worries, our official broadcaster will repeat the thing in full on Monday night right? Yeah you already know the answer to that. Here's the online vids though. Makes you mad enough to kick a ref doesn't it?

We did pretty well at these games. Actually everyone did. The British had their best Olympics in 100 years. The Chinese topped the medal table by a long way. But that's ok because so did the Americans. Everyone's happy! (or at least deluded)

Remember when I wrote about eye candy at the Olympics? Well silly me thought it was a passing thing that would be done and dusted in the media. Nope, nope, nope aaaaand nope.

But sex is embedded into the Olympics further than just folks wanting to perve at the bikini girls. When Australian diver Matthew Mitcham stole a gold medal from the clutches of the strong Chinese team (with the most awesome dive I have ever seen by the way), NBC decided that the viewers in the US probably shouldn't find out that he is gay.

NBC did not mention Mitcham's orientation, nor did they show his family and partner who were in the stands. NBC has made athletes' significant others a part of the coverage in the past, choosing to spotlight track athlete Sanya Richards' fiancee, a love triangle between French and Italian swimmers and Kerri Walsh's wedding ring debacle.

I'm a little more surprised that only ten athletes at the games were openly gay, with Mitcham the only man on that list.

Speaking of things that have been covered up: those pesky little Chinese gymnasts. It seems more and more likely that He Kexin is not old enough to compete. But this is not a black and white issue, both sides claim to have definitive proof. Even the Guardian's headline is confusing: Chinese gymnasts under investigation over underage claims (note the headline has since been changed to “after underage claims" but the page title still shows the evidence).

And the cheats are being discovered on all fronts: Lyudmila Blomska has been stripped of her silver in the Heptathlon for doping; even horses are being thrown out for drugs.

And it feels like WADA expect a few more. Though probably not the athletes we suspect.

Sometimes these doubts are cast but I would suggest some Americans could look at themselves first. They had cheats in 2000 [Marion Jones] and cheats in 2004 so they think no one wins without cheating.

And then there are the things I just couldn't care less about.

But at least no one wrote anything stupid…oh, wait</a,>.

47

The Home Straight

Sometimes, reporters get it right, even if they do it in the stupidest way possible.

I was shocked when Usain Bolt was confronted by Andrew "the saveloy" Saville, but it turned out what sounded like a ridiculous question was the best one to ask:

The Saveloy: "Are you the greatest athlete in the world?
Bolt: "Seriously?"
Battered Sav: "Seriously"
Bolt: (big grin, swagger) "Yeah, I am the best athlete in the world"

Why did it work? Because Bolt is a larger than life, over the top sprinter. This is what I expect of sprinters. They are the Ferraris of the athletics world, fast and flashy. I don't want an athlete to run the 100 and 200 metres in world record time and then say "yeah it was a good race, full credit to the opposition". That's why I watch rugby (disclaimer: that is not why I watch rugby).

Saville's question to (eventual) silver medallist Shawn Crawford was equally as stupid, but was saved again by the charisma of the man answering:

Saville: "Have you ever seen anything like that?"
Crawford: "Yes, just not from that angle"

The interviews later with the Jamaican coach and head of sport was little more telling. With both repeating the word "natural" too much to seem, well, natural. Then again, I suppose after runs like Bolt has had they must have been fending off questions of performance enhancers all week.

How natural is it? Is it genetics that has helped the Jamaican and other Caribbean runners?

At the base of sprint speed are the fast-twitch muscle fibres stocked with the speed protein Actinen A. And early data indicate that 70 per cent of Jamaican athletes have the gene for Actinen A. Only 30 per cent of Australian athletes studied had the gene.

So, how good is this scientific evidence? Does the "Actinen A" gene (whatever that is) actually influence sprinting performance? And if so, does it explain the difference in explosive power between Jamaicans and the rest of the world? The answers, as it turns out, are "probably" and "not really".

That's the short version. The whole scientific explanation can be found at Genetic Future.

However, as always Onion Sports page gets to the heart of the Usain Bolt story for America:

On Usain Bolt Setting Two World Records In Two Races:
"What does this have to do with Michael Phelps?"

And was does it have to do with Phelps? Apparently the water-cooler discussion is now all about who is the greater athlete, Phelps or Bolt?

If we do some jiggery-pokery (and that's all it is) with the numbers we might get a better sense of it. Let's take Phelps in the Men's 200m Freestyle and compare that to Bolt in the Men's 200m sprint.

  • The average time for the swimming across all competitors was 1:45.81; Phelps' time was 2.85 seconds faster than the average, he was three percent faster than the field average (swimming at 1.94m/s, almost 7kph).
  • The average time for the sprint across all competitors was 20.07 seconds; Bolt's time was 0.78 seconds faster than the average, he was four percent faster than the field average (running at 10.36m/s, a little over 37kph).
  • It should be noted that the second and third place-getters in the 200m final were disqualified, lowering the average speed

But, really, I don't want to pick because I think it's a silly question, though I will say this: I think Phelps could run better than Bolt could swim.

Want some more numbers fun with the medal table? This gadget from Channel 4 in England let's you sort by population, GDP, human rights, and "American sorting". Interestingly on the combined "table of tables" New Zealand is sitting fourth.

You know it's been a dull, rain soaked day at the Olympics when the coverage is of table tennis semi-finals. I'm all for keeping sports like synchronised swimming at the Olympics, but I am all for dumping sports like table tennis.

The match last night between Russia and Japan was really close and went to, like, six or seven match points before the Japanese guy took it out. Were there shouts of joy or an explosion of emotion at having overcome a worthy opponent who had almost fought back from the brink? No, there was the briefest of handshakes between the players (so short you needed to go to the Omega Time Room to see it) and then they both walked away. Even the commentator seemed disappointed.

Peter Williams introduced the matches by making two interesting comments. The first was about the fact that the table tennis matches were only sparsely attended: "You'd think it would be a popular sport in China". I'm not sure why it would be a popular sport anywhere to be honest. The other was about what the sport's organisers are planning to entice more perverts people: "[Similar to] beach volleyball they want the female competitors to wear skimpy shirts, err, skirts and probably skimpy shirts as well. Apparently now they wear dowdy [polo] shirts".

And speaking of beach volleyball last night we got to see what every television director has been waiting for: a women's beach volleyball match played in pouring rain.

Catching up
These are things I've been meaning to mention (sometimes the internet is too big):

  • And finally, I know the Olympic motto isn't Harder Better Faster Stronger but you can still have a Daft Punk-out at the fencing (or you could've while it was on)
49

Disco Tom

As Tom Ashley crossed the finish line to win New Zealand's first yachting gold medal (vid) in 16 years, TVNZ were crossing live to an ad break.

But let's not be petty. Ashley's medal gives us one of our best Olympic medal hauls in a long time. And if our BMX riders do well that could be extended. Although I feel a little stink for Ashley (also known as "Disco Tom"), because he won gold in what may be the ugliest hat I have ever seen.

Yesterday I mentioned how it was great that we were getting a lot of good coverage about the bronze medalists and how no one was complaining that they should've done better. But that has gone a little too far now.

It is now at the point where, somehow, bronze is better than gold.

Take nothing away from Vili, who bestrode the shotput circle like a colossus from her first throw…

It is hard to beat those terrific twins Caroline and Georgina Evers-Swindell's photo-finish first in the women's double sculls.

We should also hail Hayden Roulston for his silver and bronze on the cycling track…

But the bauble placed around Willis' neck early today (NZ time) is a much more valuable metal than most.

Willis is our athlete of the Beijing Olympic Games because the men's 1500m track final is a bona fide blue riband Olympic event.

I don't want to get all "Rick Suhr" on this but a gold medal is always better than a bronze medal. No exceptions, and especially in this situation.

The twins overcame a form slump and retained their gold medal. Valerie Vili beat the world record holder and the rest of the field with four of her five throws. The world champion for the 1500m wasn't even in the final.

Take a look at the today's poll on Stuff on "Which medal won by New Zealand's athletes at the Beijing Olympics rates as the more valuable metal?" Willis' bronze is (at time of writing) currently leading Vili's gold by 77 votes. In fact Vili is only two votes ahead of Mahe Drysdale.

I'm not bashing Nick Willis, his bronze is awesome, but it is just not better than any of the three golds we've won.

And also there seems to be an "us against the Africans" vibe to this post about Willis' win, that just doesn't sit right.

Meanwhile the Bad Astronomy blog has uncovered the secret to the Chinese success in these games. No it's not eight years of grueling discipline and training of adept children into fantastic athletes; it's astrology:

Explaining his eureka moment with all the zeal of a statistical crusader, he concluded: "Did you know that the distribution of Olympic swimming medalists against the tropical astrological zodiac signs can be almost exactly mapped by a polynomial function of the third degree?"

…whether or not astrology is correct (and it ain't), if you plot the birth signs of the athletes, you are very apt to find a third-degree polynomial that'll fit the points. You can swap around the dates, pick the losers instead of winners, or measure the athlete's hair length and still find some polynomial that describes them pretty well.

If only being born on a particular day could somehow have an effect on your athletic ability.

Usain Bolt had better not be on any performance enhancers because he is just too cool. And the best quote leading up to the men's 200m final (vid) has to be: [the American coaches looked] "as pleased as a Primary School teacher who has just seen one of the kids take a tinkle in the Lego box". 19.30 seconds over 200m is insane by the way.

And for those who can't be there, here's the next best thing (sort of): a panoramic shot inside the Bird's Nest, half an hour before the men's 100m final.

36

Playing Catch Up

I've gone two nights with very minimal Olympics watching. And due to a prior engagement tonight will be the same. (Actually last night Outrageous Fortune took precedent despite my protestations of "the Olympics only happen every four years!" Maybe I need to think about getting MySky)

So I was scouring the internet and trying to think of clever ideas. "I know", I thought, "I'll write about the history of the Madison" … thank you very much Mr Slack.

So here I present The Unofficial History of the Madison Cycling Race.

The race has it's roots in pre-colonial Rhodesia, where the locals would gather together for a month and the men, to show their virility to potential wives, would run in circles for days with a tag partner who would take over when the runner needed to eat or sleep.

Fast forward to prohibition-era Chicago: The Rhodesian foot-race had been adapted by Phineaus O'Connell, an Irish entrepreneur, and turned into a cycling race that was used in London as a way for poorer gentlemen to show their virility to potential wives, while entertaining richer gentlemen keen to see people die of exhaustion on bicycles.

Chicago's notorious bootleggers liked O'Connell's idea so much that they decided to use the event to mask their own illegal activities. Half the riders were replaced with prostitutes and drink stations filled with home-distilled gin. The mobsters also created a point system to enable betting, although the term "earning a lap" meant something different when the prostitutes were involved, and gentlemen were less likely to let their partner take over.

The modern event keeps to some of these traditions though the scoring system is now much more complex. Every team of two cyclists who manage to gain a lap on the pack are given "a lap". Points can also be gained by sprinting over the line every ten laps. While only one cyclist is allowed to ride the race at any given time you can tag your partner in to take over. If you accidentally launch the wrong partner into the race that person is then obliged to race for your country. Should any rider be knocked off their bike, they are allowed to fight the person who knocked them off, with every landed punch equalling one point. Lap 23 is the "running alp" where riders must leave their bikes on the track and run a lap to get back to them (this is a nod to the original Rhodesian version and is sometimes called the "Rhodesian Lap").

Unsurprisingly they removed my version from Wikipedia.

Back in reality I did manage to catch the kiwis in the synchronised swimming. I am always impressed by this sport and the (American?) commentator seemed to be impressed with Lisa and Nina Daniels (video here) considering the fact the New Zealand isn't really known for synchronisation, swimming or otherwise.

The strength of the synch-swimmers is amazing, and I am totally against anyone who thinks it's should be removed from the games.

Michael Burgess from TVNZ was at the sychro-swimming and had an interesting run-in with the old Soviet Bloc:

Our conversation went like this:
NZ: Excuse me, who are you waiting to talk to?
UKR: Why, why do you ask (accompanied by stern glare)?
NZ: Well, I just wanted to speak to the Czech or Ukrainian team...?
UKR: Yes, I am from that country, but I am not offering translation services!
She had a smile that Medusa would be proud to own and a voice that snarled.
I fumed silently and walked away.

It's also good to see that Britain is coming back down to earth even though they now sit third on the medal table.

Well done to Nick Willis for his bronze and also to Bevan Docherty. I am really pleased with all of the talk about our bronze medalists. Other than the occasional stupid question from TVNZ most people are really proud of medalists no matter what the colour. As the Dropkicks discuss this week, it's actually pretty hard to be the third best person in the world at something.

Just a quick note to Bevan Docherty though: Can you please wait until after the race before going and grabbing the flag? You are not Usain Bolt.

And speaking of Bolt, I did like this cartoon of Michael Phelps but I think Dom nailed it with his revision. Bolt's 200m final is scheduled for roughly 2.00am here.

I was listening to ESPN's Pardon The Interruption the other day and they were discussing China's dominance of the medal table. The first time it was mentioned (before the Olympics started) the line was: American's don't care about the medal table, and the Chinese are "padding" the table in sports "nobody cares about". Y'know, like gymnastics.

This time the commentary was: American only cares about gold medals but China's got such a large population that they can, naturally, win all those medals. there was no discussion about why they haven't in the past or why other large populace countries like Japan or India haven't done better in the past.

Finally for today, here's a wonderful image of the Olympic flame from the BBC.