Field Theory by Hadyn Green

Ok guys gather round there's gonna be a few changes to the team. First up Dan, you're cut, pack your things and get out. Nah! I'm just kidding get back here ya dope. I just like to start these things with a joke. Haw haw haw!

But seriously, Aled you're cut. Have your locker cleared by two o'clock. What? Yes, you can keep that box of Powerade.

Now there're a few new guys here, Zac, Ben, Mike and Tamati, so we're gonna have to come up with some new nicknames. I'm thinking Gilly, Smithy, Laney, and Tamati. Everyone agree? Good.

Now did you boys all get your new phones? Hang on they gave me something to read.

"Our best wishes go to the players selected as they embark on the All Blacks Telecom Northern Tour. This is a special association …blahblahblah… each of the players receiving an XT Mobile so they can stay in touch with home easily in each of the five countries that they visit."

Wait a minute… Five? Wales is a country? Somebody go look that up. Not you Joe, you're cut.

Now just to make things a little crazier the coaches are going to have a little change around too. Hen-Dog we like what you've done with the defence so we're giving that job to Wayne-o. Hansen you fucked over the forwards so you'll be taking over offence and Hen-Dog's gonna to try and sort out the mess you left.

And if that doesn't work we're going to bring in a duty roster wheel.

I'm quite grumpy writing this. I watched my Jets lose in the worst way to the Dolphins (their hated enemy). I was watching with a friend who was just interested to watch American football game despite his team not being involved. So he started cheering for the Dolphins.

This caused me to ask: "what the fuck?"

It's different if you're supporting them as underdogs or if it means your team will benefit in some fashion. But if you're watching with a friend it's not clever or "cool" (as the kids say) to support the opposition solely for the reason of annoying your friend. That's what a troll is. And nobody likes a troll.

I mean imagine watching the football on the weekend with an English supporter who started cheering for Bahrain. Bahrain, who didn't beat us by the way. Bahrain, who'll be coming to Wellington for the biggest sports event here since… the first Rugby World Cup? The Auckland Commonwealth Games? The America's Cup?

If you were ever going to see the Caketin sold out, it'll be for this game. I'll be there and I hope it's a real "Wellington day".

But this weekend four wheels beat two legs for the best sport.

First of all Bathurst lived up to the "great race" tag, as opposed to it's usual role of deciding which car company would see a bump in sales. Greg Murphy called his finish the best fourth place ever, and his final lap battle was awesome to watch.

And what's better than four wheels AND two legs? Both together!

Brutal Pageant were looking to go 2-0 in the Richter City season on Saturday, but Smash Malice had other ideas. Malice had yet to record a win, having lost the initial exhibition bout (The Grudgemaker) and the first bout of the season (Skate of Emergency).

The final score was 166-117 to Smash Malice and they were relishing every moment. Even in the penalty box.

We had our commentary table right beside the teams' benches. In the first half Brutal Pageant had the lead, and after I read out the score Tuff Bikkies (captain of Malice) leaned over and said, "the scoreboard's broken". I looked up worried before I realised she was kidding. Any team that can be that cool under pressure is going to do well.

And while Pageant was putting up a spirited fight it wasn't going to be their night. For every jam where they had the lead, Malice were right on their tail.

And the crowd were baying for blood the whole time. I was being threatened at halftime, as I rarked-up the Brutal Pageant fans, by someone's mother. It was really loud with 800+ people and the hits were some of the hardest I've seen.

But really derby is about love not violence. The skaters are all good friends, even when they are blocked out they come up grinning ready to go. And even when I asked the Pageant girls if they were a little low after the loss they said they didn't mind because it meant the final bout would be massive. And anyway they all had to go drink together.

And if you think you're missing out in Auckland, you just have to hold tight. The first bout was won by Dead Wreckoning and while the next official bout isn't until the 14th of November there is another special event coming up that I will tell you about when I'm allowed to.

Check out Mike Roseingrave's website and Jed Soane's Flickr set for all the hard-hitting and hula-hooping pics.

Copyright is a funny thing. You make something, you own it. If other people use it, and don't give you whatever you believe you are owed then you can shut them down. And fair enough after all it is your stuff.

But sometimes, letting others distribute your stuff can lead to good things for you.

Take Star Wars for example. George Lucas is known for being a hard-ass when it comes to copyright infringement, but if you aren't making money off of it and are just dressing up as Tauntauns in your backyard, he encourages it. Which is how you get amazing community projects like Star Wars Uncut.

So why does Sky want to stop the Jedi? (see what I did there?)

Jed "Jedi" Thian of the Alternate Rugby Commentary (ARC) sent out a slightly cryptic, very angry email a few days ago to his supporters. It was a rallying cry.

The global network that grips the mainstream world in its grasp has shown its final desperate measure by shutting down the GeneralThian YouTube channel and clearly they think that this is ‘end game'.

And you know what? They are right.

Friends of the Alternative Rugby Commentary numbering in the hundreds of thousands have enjoyed the edits posted over the last two years and in a fit of rage; not too dissimilar to penis envy, the stiff neck suit and tie guardians of the airwaves have decided that the ARC is in fact bigger and better, longer and strong, louder and prouder than they can truly handle.

And so with the knowledge that they have been getting a right royal pumping by the David of the internet, Goliath hath dealt what it believes is the final blow.

And you know what? They are wrong.

Now it shouldn't be too surprising that Sky decided to close down a YouTube channel that had Sky footage of games that Sky has exclusive broadcast rights to. Even though it was reedited and had a new commentary track, essentially Jed's commentary was illegal.

Yet it seems this is a personal attack on Jed and the ARC. Rugby Dump, arguably a larger contributor to "stolen" videos, is still up and running. So what gives?

It could be the fact that the ARC is huge. Really huge. The GeneralThian channel on YouTube was getting hundreds of thousands of views compared to a the small amount watching the games Sky put online. You eat too much from the big dogs plate and you get bitten.

Except that's not the correct metaphor. Sky is offering product X, the ARC was offering product X+Y (where Y=Jed's brilliant commentary) and X+Y>X. So the question is, why didn't Sky offer some kind of partnership instead of just going for the closure?

Like George Lucas seeing that fans making their own Star Wars movies would be good for his projects, Sky should've seen that the ARC was doing wonders for the falling ratings of rugby.

But that train has sailed, Jed is taking the ARC on the road. The ARC are heading to London in November for the All Blacks' end of year tour, then he'll be doing the Hong Kong Sevens in 2010 and possibly even the 6 Nations in 2010. Rumours abound that the BBC might even call him in guest commentate a game.

In the meantime we'll stay in New Zealand and complain about Murray Mexted.

It's really fucking cold and the girls are racing around the track. It's supposed to be just a speed practice but there are a few sly shoves and grins. They can't stop competing.

And in the build up to the biggest Roller Derby event in New Zealand ever, the skaters have a lot of nervous energy to burn off. Every one is talking about the TSB Arena. They want to know what the surface is like, how big it is, and what will it be like if they get 2,000 people?

This is a big fight. Yamis noted in the comments of my last post that the Tua fight resonated with sections of the community that fly under the radar. Roller Derby is the same.

It's the sport for women, for geeks, for rock-a-billys, for punks, and for anyone who might not like sport. Lucy in Disguise from Auckland told me it was a sport for people from the "alternative" scene (she actually used air quotes around alternative), the one's that are turned off by mainstream sports. Of course if you like sport you'll like derby, because it is a sport.

I did three interviews (don't worry they're only ~4mins each) and while they had fun joking around it was clear they just loved skating with their friends and in a competitive way.

Goldie Scorn and Rocket Queen

Suffer Jet and Perky Nah Nah

Lux Vengence and Silken Dagger

No one was giving anything away. The bench manager for Brutal Pageant, Rita Anguish, was keeping her tactics close to her chest, but she did tell me how they run their bench. Players are chosen by talent first and then by situation. So Rita has players that she knows she can call on if they need to slow it down or (potentially) score lots of fast points. They are also watching the players who are racking up penalties. Penalties will kill you late in the game.

By now you must be wanting to get to the Civil Offence bout on Saturday. There are three options open for you.

1. Go to Under the Radar to pre-purchase your tickets (advised)
2. Show up on the day
3. Or email me with the name of the team you'll be supporting and you could win a double pass.

We really want 2,000 screaming fans there on Saturday. I'll be MCing again and I want to see if I can yell louder than 2,000 people, it sounds like a challenge.

As always the brilliant photography of Jed Soane and Mike Roseingrave, with more at those links.

Boxing is a dead sport. It doesn't know it though. Right now boxing is a shambling corpse, mimicking other, similar sports like some decaying zombie that's trying remember what it was like to be alive.

It is because of this that we are being told that the Shane Cameron versus David Tua fight in Hamilton this weekend will be the "Fight of the Century". The billing and the hype surrounding, what even the promoters must know is a lie, has been astounding (just look at that URL).

Sky has been running ads saying to "book early" lest you miss out on the Pay-Per-View (PPV) event. How can I miss out on TV? Surely, even during the bout, all I'd have to do is hit a series of buttons on my remote.

Sadly it's the PPV that killed boxing. Many years ago it seemed easier for boxing to be PPV; they have single events rather than seasons, the title fights are months apart, and the fights themselves are geographically spread. Going to PPV meant bigger television money and no wrangling with local broadcasters.

But now PPV is crowded with boxing-like sports, and these sports are pulling in more viewers than boxing has in years. The new mixed martial arts leagues that have started up in recent years have taken a lot of the more blood-thirsty viewers, while professional wrestling have taken the younger audience and those who enjoy the drama. In fact the WWE is now the undisputed heavyweight champion of PPV.

So what can we expect from tomorrow night's bout? I'm going to guess it'll be like Darth Vader versus Obi Wan Kinobi on the Deathstar. Built up as an awesome battle, but really just two old guys circling each other taking weak jabs, and when one finally goes down it'll be a hollow victory.