Yellow Peril by Tze Ming Mok

The Treaty of Waitangi's relevance to Alien Species: Part 2

The question 'where do rights come from?' is as important as it is boring. Therefore, as many Star Trek analogies as possible will be incorporated into this unplanned but obligatory political-philosophic-follow-up to Keith's last post.

Spending the better part of last evening talking to Keith to figure out his objections to the Treaty of Waitangi's 'contemporary relevance' as per our Symposium panel brief, was seriously complicated by Keith also not believing in:
- rights as deriving from anything but guns;
- rule of law;
- constancy of the historical principles of democracy, or value in looking for any;
- natural justice, natural law or natural rights.

...So far so Hobbesian/pre-Federation Klingon.

But here's the killer. He also doesn't appear to believe in:
- the relevance of any law passed, right accorded, or treaty signed prior to the parties involved attaining the universal franchise (presumably in a Western liberal-democratic modern nation-state mold - you know, like a civilisation that has acquired the warp drive)

And at the same time, he does believe in:
- the current principles of democracy;
- and that they should be enshrined in law in the form of a written constitution;
- thereby guaranteeing us our rights;
- and providing us with a better basis for national identity than the Treaty of Waitangi.

The obvious addendum would be:
- although the written constitution, rule of law, and the guarantee of our rights would provide as little guarantee as anything before it, if we didn't have enough guns to enforce it.

This seems to be a kind of unstable approach. It's kind of like the ambivalent, fragile foundations of the initial peace between the Klingon delegation and the Federation in Star Trek VI: the Undiscovered Country, the gappy accommodation between brute-force and a brand-new foundationless shine of Federation democracy. Here's the crux of his argument:

“Nobody believes that our right to be in New Zealand is derived from Her Majesty, right?...the government gets its right to rule from the people, not the other way around… So why then should we take seriously the idea that our right to be in New Zealand comes from the Maori chiefs who signed the Treaty?... The idea of the Treaty of Waitangi as the source of our rights as citizens contradicts the reality of our political system...”

The whole 'irrelevance of laws passed by unelected leaders now dead' line is pretty difficult to take seriously at all from a legal perspective. Since Keith brought it up again, the Magna Carta was signed by 13th century English feudal lords, arguably governing far less democratically than 19th century rangatira. From what I can tell, it is the basis of our contemporary legal right to be free from the absolute rule of Kings. Is that a contradiction of our modern democratic system or its very beginning?

Why do people hate common-law constitutions so?

What's the problem Tuvok? What are these rights that we Aliens have derived from this Treaty?

Although Keith seems to have conflated them rather... illogically ...there is a difference between
a) how 'the Crown' accessed the right to govern New Zealand
b) the way we acquire/d the right to have citizenship in general and whatever rights citizenship gave you at the time
c) the way we accessed our right to control the government as democratic citizens.

a) Governing rights
The Crown accessed the right to govern through the Treaty of Waitangi. Legally, that's what happened. If Keith wants to say it was a 'legal fiction' because only guns and/or democracy matter now and the 'Crown' has no real power, then we might as well be doing Star Trek metaphysics about whether it's possible for Riker to have real feelings for his imaginary holodeck girlfriend who was programmed on a real person somewhere but she died down a wormhole in the Delta Quadrant (probably trying to leap away from his horrible saxophone playing).

b) Citizenship rights
I suppose the Treaty of Waitangi enables the successor of the British Crown to govern citizenship in a land that is no longer Britain. If that is indirectly the source of the right of the government to grant New Zealand citizenship, so what? What's the problem? You can't just colonise a country without getting consent from who was there first, unless you're Australia and pretend that no-one was there.

But Keith equates citizenship with the right to participate in government, possibly sees it as a fundamental human right (depending on whether he's feeling Hobbesian or Liberal) and due to a weird understanding of the purpose of law itself, 'feels' miffed and alienated that this inviolable right actually appears to be 'sourced' in some dead Maori chief, rather than in, say, a written constitution (which would inevitably include the same dead Maori chief).

Okay then. Who believes laws and rulers are fountains from from which rights spurt as if from heaven? Anyone? Now, who believes that rights and freedoms are fundamental to our understanding of our own nature as human beings in human society, and that laws are made to express that? What's wrong with interpreting how we should deal with each other's rights from historical laws and treaties signed by people who were expressing ideas about their rights that are not remarkably different from our own ideas?

Is the past not only another undiscovered country, but another planet? Are our ancestors, in fact, aliens?

c) Democratic rights
I think Keith is barking up the wrong tree here, because citizenship doesn't necessarily give you access to the right to participate in government, unless the citizens have managed to get that access. The way Tangata Tiriti accessed our right to control the government though elections as democratic citizens was not through the Treaty of Waitangi. It might have been a mixture of guns and withholding sex. I don't think Maori claim to have given it to us. Elections that is, not sex.

Keith wants a 'national identity document' that encapsulates all of the ways we get our rights - ie, a written constitution. Fine, but why just bag the Treaty? It's kind of funny and alien-like that Keith finds these rather pedantic concepts about the irrelevancy of the Treaty to be personally relevant to his life, although we both agree that the audience at the Symposium would probably find it totally boring and irrelevant, and so we probably won't talk about it there in our 'relevancy of the Treaty now & in the future' segment. With regard to the Treaty, I'm more interested in the ways we can use it than the ways that we supposedly can't, or the things that it supposedly isn't. I don't think it's so crazy to think the principles of active protection, partnership, mutual recognition, engagement and reciprocity are rather useful for building a culturally-deep civil society. I am also going to include pictures of graff-painted skateboards in my Powerpoint presentation on 'Asian Youth' opinions. I think that will also help with the cultural depth, and with the pretense that I am young.

The other in-depth disagreement Keith and I had during our discussion, was over who was funnier, him or me. I thought that we were probably about as funny as each other. Keith was certain that he was way funnier than me. Here's something to agree on though: this is probably the most boring post I've ever written.

The Treaty of Waitangi's relevance to Alien Species: Part 1

If Keith Ng and I were a Star Trek spin-off, we'd be a Tuvok and Worf odd-couple sitcom.* Worf: "We are surrounded by enemies! Let us attack! Roooarrr!" Tuvok: "That would be highly illogical." Worf: "Pah! I will attack YOU Vulcan quisling!" Tuvok: "That would be even more illogi..."WHAM!

No prizes for guessing which Lieutenant-Commander is which.

But people are full of surprises. For example, I was recently talking to Keith about how it's great that Asians can afford to be rational, unemotional and geeky when discussing the Treaty of Waitangi because of our relative lack of distracting historical baggage, therefore allowing us to get far more productive political theory done. Imagine my mirrored shock when Keith started talking to me about how the Treaty of Waitangi made him 'feel'.

It didn't make him feel good.

In my opinion, highly illogical. Perhaps a Vulcan mind-meld had gone awry.

If you want to know what we were talking about, you can see more of Bizarro-Keith vs Bizarro-Tze Ming live at the Human Rights, Treaty of Waitangi and Asian Communities Symposium this Sunday at Auckland University. Keith and I are going to be on the Asian Yoof Panel, along with Karishma Kripalani (one of the organisers of this year's Human Rights Film Festival). I'll report on proceedings in 'The Treaty of Waitangi's relevance to Alien Species: Part 2', but the whole Symposium is free registration, so come along. We three Kids' Panelists are on at about 1:30, but may simultaneously be on the Sunday afternoon Lynn Freeman/Chris Laidlaw panel discussion on National Radio, due to the magic of pre-recording. The fact that I know who Lynn Freeman is, is probably proof that I shouldn't be on a Kids' Panel.

I pointed out to Manying Ip that I'm not really 'youth', and that if she was desperate to put me on a panel, it should be a Southeast Asian panel.

"Tze Ming," she said rather wearily, "there will be NO Southeast Asian panel."

Roooaarrr!!!

But there will be an awesome South Asian panel featuring some of Auckland's finest postcolonial ethnicity-geeks and a Korean panel as well as the usual Chinese panel with the usual Chinese suspects.

And of course, the 'Young Asians' panel - which really should be called the 'Asians with too many advanced degrees in Political Philosophy and Identity Politics but not enough in Law" panel. There is a great danger that myself, Keith and Karishma will geek out the whole auditorium just when everyone's expecting us to be all cool and young and shit. I will be forced to admit that I'm three years past the Ministry of Youth Development definition of 'Youth'; Keith will be forced to admit that he's actually 37; Karishma will have to confess that although she's an immigrant, she's never lived in Asia.

The 'Young Asians' panel is meant to be discussing the "Relevance of the Treaty - Now & in the Future" so I thought I'd ask some real youth what they thought, given that it's rather dubious to consider either myself, Keith or Karishma as your 'typical' Asian youth... although I'm not sure if the reprobate friends of mine who answered my weekend Treaty text-message survey are a good representation either.** Would it be fair to propose that the more Young Asian Professionals (YAPs) in this list of respondents, the more accurate it is as a reflection of Young Asian opinion?

Treaty of Waitangi: relevant to you? Why/why not?

NZ-born tagger - uh-oh - and ...IT professional! Woohoo, YAP-hit!:
"yes becuase it ripped off the Maori and that's not cool. Getting ripped off ain't cool by any culture's standards."

1.5 gen/newish migrants - one text answered for three. One artist - uh-oh... one landscape architect... YAP-hit! 3rd, engineer-turned-businessman... so close on a primary-YAP capture, yet so far!**:
"2 'no's' because Asians didn't sign it. I say dunno because I am not aware how it is relevant."

1.5 gen - artist. Oh dear:
"if a hori cant walk free in his own land thn wat chance does da othr colourd folk hv in dis place?"

1.5 gen - architect - YAP!:
"very relavnt because im a NZer. Not relavent at all because we need to get over ourselves."

NZ-born film-maker... losing YAP points fast:
"Yes.. I'm a new zealander and the treaty is relevant to all new zealand! Not trying to be pc.. Just basic important knowledge!.."

1.5 gen student/community worker... hmm, borderline YAP possibilities still?:
"relevant,bcos it is important 2understand d history of d place we live in & we can learn many things from observin how the maori ppl is treated as minority by d policy-makers & make inferences abt how we as minorities may b treated as human beings, citizens & potential leaders."

1.5 gen IT professional/journalist... so half a YAP?:
"relevant, how a country treats its indigenous (uggh, hate that word) is a reflection of how open they are 2 other cultures"

NZ-born film-maker/film-production... that's not the kind of 'professional' we're looking for... losing more YAP points:
"Relevant due 2 unique position I have in maori broadcasting and my exposure 2 the culture"

1.5 gen actor... okay, this survey is now officially screwed:
"Relevant cause i am nzer. Nt relevant cause we r nt educatd bout it properly in skols...i mean wot does da treaty really signify 4us 2day? wot is da truth &does it create a beta society r my questns. Bt lacknin in knowledge,i cnt really say."

1.5 gen - another artist. Even more screwed:
"Yes, definitely, I live in this country, how could it not be relevant - not to sound defensive at all. And as a relative newcomer who perhaps isn't directly involvd in tht history, ie by ancestry etc, it informs me of this history which is very much a part of nz now."

1.5 gen rapper and shoe-saleman. Effectively, the YAP-nemesis:
"It makes me happy to see Maori people happy, that says it all."

Despite or perhaps because of my remarkably poor sampling method, I'm not sensing too much discomfort out there, nor projection of experiences of general societal marginalisation onto the terms or principles of the Treaty itself. There's both curiosity and boredom. So... what's up with Tuvok? What do Asians who feel marginalised by the Maori-Pakeha Treaty discourse, or insecure about the guarantees the Treaty presents for their national belonging, actually need in order to 'feel' better? Better information? A written constitution? Nullification of the Treaty?

Or do they just need a hug?

Maybe what they really, really need, is a Symposium.

*Possible names for the Tuvok & Worf show: "Please Do Not Feed the Aliens" or "YOU will be Assimilated" (this second option could be a game-show).

**The group surveyed is ethnically broader than the build-you-a-Chinatown survey, but doesn't include Asian people also of Maori descent, or people directly involved in the Symposium. A big fat zero-hit on primary YAPs (Doctor-Engineer-Accountant), and not even the full spectrum of secondary YAPs covered (IT-Architect-Lawyer). Me and my friends are such disappointments to our parents...

where's the Party?

Actual, physical mail arrived the other week, addressed to 'Tze Ming Mok, Public Address'. Like this is my job. Opening the envelope, the crest of the Chinese Communist Party stared out from the centre of a creamy summons - AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Lefties in the West enjoy the tongue-in-cheek adoption of Communist paraphernalia - Mao caps, Lenin beards, hammer and sickle flags, red star tattoos, portraits of Che, etcetera. Hell, I've done it myself, with the requisite blackness of humour - it is my family history after all. Funny how history comes back to bite you in the ass.

There it was - the Party crest. The Consulate-General of the People's Republic of China. They know where I live. They read my blog. As they say... it 'gave me pause.' Or alternatively:

It scared the crap out of me.

Turns out all I should have been afraid of was two-hours-that-seemed-like-four of government-sanctioned movie (read: sentimental tragic-romantic drivel with a lot of slo-mo petals falling and curtains billowing) at the opening night of the Chinese Film Festival last week.

But no, I didn't go for the pre-film cocktails at the Consulate.

A World Without Thieves on the weekend was a hell of a lot better, although it's the second consecutive Andy Lau film I've seen where he's wearing a bad wig.

I was planning on going back to China again for a while next year, but have decided against it. You know, bird flu, mounting print & net-censorship, violent supression of organic civil-society democracy movements, the Campaign against Public Intellectuals (yeah, hilarious I know - in New Zealand would it be a Campaign to find Public Intellectuals?), systematic use of torture, urban migrant poverty, Beijing air pollution... these things do weigh heavy on the soul. It's not the same for all Chinese people, even ones from China. But I'd rather not be there right now, in a place where there is too much wrong, and too little that I could put right with my presence.

I am somewhat loathe to test whether I'd have any trouble getting in, or whether I'd get in trouble without meaning to (me and my little pink bicycle were briefly detained by a variety of security forces, my film exposed, my camera broken, and my residence permit 'misunderstood' on the first day of the Iraq war the last time I was living in China - it was an accident, honest!), or get my relatives in trouble (none of whom have any name that is related to mine if anyone is looking). So yes - there are some personal things at stake for me in terms of whether or not the Chinese government and its representives know who I am, what I care about, who I've worked for, and whether they are of a mind to make things difficult for me in entering or leaving or living in China. If they do choose to in the future, I suppose I brought it on myself. You make your bed, you lie in it - I didn't have to blog occasionally about human rights and democracy in China from the safety of New Zealand, especially for an audience that's probably more interested in amusing anecdotes about my mother and Hot Asian Guys or all that 'new New Zealand' shit anyway. I mean, I really should have thought about whether it might inconvenience a holiday or an arts residency one day.

Reminds me of the time I attended a Free Tibet rally in Aotea Square in 1997. The Chinese Consulate would generally send its informants or spies or whatever to Tibet rallies, and photograph the activists. There was this hippy dude I knew who was introducing the speakers, and I asked him not to mention my name, as I was travelling to China later that year. What do you know but ten minutes later, "and speaking for Amnesty International on Campus, Amnesty president Tze Ming Mok - cheers Tze Ming!" "Uh... yeah, thanks."

You can't do much in a situation like that but go "ah, fuck it," and take the mic. It's a free country. It didn't affect my visa that year.

It's possible that only the people marketing the Chinese Film Festival know who I am. But when I received the letter from the Consulate last week, and faced the other possibility that they really are reading this, I had to think for a moment whether this would affect what I write. Whether, if I know what's good for me, I should refrain from referring to things like: "the Chinese Coprophagist Party's colonic irrigation", and break off my blog-alliance with Glutter, and stop linking to Reporters sans Frontieres, and turn down opportunities to hang out with Jung Chang unless I write that she's 'a running-dog bitch', or hold my tongue instead of saying that the movie Hero and its subtitling of 'tianxia' as 'our land' instead of 'all under heaven' was a big fat Zhang Yimou sellout to shitty Chinese Government nationalist propaganda, but that he redeems himself in House of Flying Daggers with a philosophy of individual freedom standing against the inhumanism of mass movements and state absolutism, even though Andy Lau has a bad wig.

Nah, fuck it. It's a free country.


****

On the local front, I just missed the Millennium Tree 'planting' ceremony in the Domain. It's a 6.5 metre high stainless-steel tree-sculpture that is a present from the Chinese New Zealanders Millennium Trust to the City of Auckland. They're calling it a present from "the Chinese Community" to Auckland, but we all know there isn't one. And it's not from me. But it is to me, so sweet as I suppose. Sun Wukong's staff? I dunno. From the photos, it kind of looks like a washing-line, harking back perhaps to the laundry-based heritage of the Old Generation Chinese in New Zealand. Probably looks different in real life. You know, like way bigger and super-impressive. The residents from the original site, the Parnell Rose Gardens, threw it out of their 'hood on aesthetic grounds. What did they want from "the Chinese community", a fucking pagoda? I'd prefer this sort of weird 80s shiny-pipe Wall Street modernism to that crap. It reminds me of a certain David Bowie lyric, with those helicopter pans of Hong Kong: "I'll give you television/I'll give you eyes of blue/I'll give your men the tools to ruuule the world!"

Okay, I'm coming round to the Sun Wukong staff idea.

****

Additional notes to previous glossary.

Nagi' is etymologically more akin to 'ho' than 'nigga', meaning specifically 'naked ladies' (thanks Manisha), though it seems that in certain diaspora usages this morphs contextually to 'South Asian naked ladies/slutty ho's/fine hotties/hardcore beeyatches from da Hood'. Which is kind of like saying 'my niggaz' but for girls. Unless you're neither South Asian nor naked. You can spot an example of this contextual diaspora usage in Anoop Dogg's 'Drop it like a FOB'.

Vic Chou (who only ever writes in to correct me) reckons 'Nanyang', according to the all-knowing Wikipedia, doesn't have the 'Yangtze' Yang. Vic is Hongkie I think. Yes, most people know that Nanyang is conventionally spelt 'Southside', not 'South of Yangtze', and the Yangtze is nowhere near Southeast Asia. However, collective Nangyang community wisdom has suggested to me that there is an aurally conflated historical meaning, referring in an embedded homonymical way to the old Chinese view that anything south of the Yangtze was 'barbarian' country. As the borders of China moved with Han colonisation of the South, 'barbarian' country moved even further South. Then again, collective Nanyang community wisdom is notorious for being rather cut-adrift from proper and refined Chinese historical knowledge. 'Coz we Nanyang, muthafucka! So, if we make shit up, it's probably alright as long as it's about ourselves.

Quake the room.

The London Tube is not the only Big BadaBoom in the desi-repertoire, as I remembered Saturday night while checking in with my Nagis at Galatos, repping for the Nanyang. (What ethnic-lingo is she on about now, ask the white liberal masses?)

Something to do with South Asian earthquake relief?

Not yet. Great to see Mishul 'Lambuji' Prasad and my Big Beardy Bombay Bro Aru Sen tearing up Auckland with the Big BadaBoom Sound System - mainstays of the Wellington Asian Underground Sound who morphed out of Tu-Faan Express & Yardwise. Looking at this publicity site, I realise suddenly that I don't know which of these silly DJ/MC names are actually theirs. The club was packed, and the crew had to throw the crowd out at 5:30 am, so they could pack up and fly back to Wellington that morning for Diwali MC-ing duties. Such good boys isn't it.

It amused me to see this photo of their last Wellington gig, to confirm that in whatever city they play, there's always just one Chinese girl in sea of pure desi. She's probably Nanyang.

Aru and Mish are also part of The Untouchables, New Zealand's first (I think) South Asian theatre collective, ably fronted by the nagi girls of Toi Whakaari, Rina Patel and Rashmi Pilapitiya (together we three form the unstoppable guerrilla curry unit MOKPILPAT).

One of the distinct characteristics of Commonwealth Southeast Asian Chinese such as myself, is the South Asian influence. The other distinct characteristic - the Malay influence - meets the South Asian influence in the form of double-curry-obsession within the starved Chinese soul. There's more to it than curry of course. It's about.. but wait... what's that approaching... is it? It is! Yet another anecdote about Tze Ming's mother!

On one occasion when I was about eleven, while being wrapped in a sari by my Keralan 'Aunty'in S'pore (childless, she'd dress me up like I was a doll) my mother became convinced that I should totally get my nose pierced. She said that when we got back to New Zealand I could tell my school authorities that I had a right to do it on cultural grounds of being Southeast Asian. 'Mum, wouldn't I have to be actually Indian for that?' 'Oh, they won't know. Would look very nice! So cute! And it's true!' Aunty Santha agreed. I knew they were getting carried away. My school was Church of England no less, stuffy enough to have regulation underpants, and I knew that there was no way they'd accept such specious logic. I think my mum and Aunty were rather disappointed. Little did I realise then, that a re-enactment of postcolonial solidarity in struggle against British imperialism was being played out over my little flarey nostril. They are probably rather happy that I'm the Rushdie go-to girl for the Listener these days.

Has anyone else noticed, but had the good taste to refrain from publicly saying, that this latest cavalcade of natural disasters is an uncanny combination of the setting of Rushdie's latest novel, combined with the mythic schema of his one-before-one-before last, the scale of his second, and the terribleness of his previous AND his first?

Whoever actually knows what I'm talking about wins the chance to donate to a South Asian Earthquake Relief fund of their choosing.

Anyone?

Well, may as well do it anyway. I heard last Wednesday through AEN (you know, like CNN) that the tally of New Zealand donations to the victims of the South Asian earthquake still hadn't reached the level that New Zealanders gave to American victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Ah - hmm.

Fighting... irresistable urge... to provide shameful statistics in hectoring tone...

Sigh.

Well, here's Oxfam who generally know what they're doing.
And here's FIANZ, who have lost their own.

*****

Glossary:
'Desi' - of South Asian descent
'Nanyang' - 'South of the Yangtze River' i.e. Southeast Asian
'Nagis' - kind of like 'Niggaz' but for Desis. It's possible that I'm only allowed to say 'Nagi' because I'm Nanyang and a member of MOKPILPAT.

Winston Peters "Doing a lot of [unclear] in the Beijing [unclear] restaurant"

After being handed the giant lemon of a NZ First-appeasing National Party Immigration policy to squeeze into her Asian constituents' wounds during the election campaign, let us not begrudge Pansy Wong the last laugh - indeed, let us laugh with her in reading yesterday's Nine to Noon transcript:

PRESENTER: What sort of message does this send to the Asian community having Winston Peters in this very influential role?

WONG: I have to say even the most inscrutable Asian can’t put a straight [sic] face on upon hearing that message. But Asian communities in New Zealand are intelligent; they see through that. I guess they recall also from 1997 when Mr Peters representing New Zealand in Hong Kong, he did champion the Asian values of family – hard working – that I guess Asians could look forward for him to repeat those complimentary statements.

PRESENTER: Do you think now that he’s going to all these important forums overseas – the first one this weekend in Fiji, the South Pacific Forum – that he’s likely to change his attitude slightly?

WONG: Well I think Mr Peters always would do a nice photograph in those occasions, certainly the Ministry of Foreign Affair would probably have their work cut out for them.

PRESENTER: Damage control, you mean.

WONG: [laughs] I think they’ll find themselves quite a handful.[sic] [...The] Minister of Foreign Affair would actually be in charge of organisations such as Asia NZ. And the Labour Government have been trumpeting the Seriously Asia initiated Ministerial Task Force, which previously was in charge under the stewardship of the Minister of Foreign Affair, so that in itself would be some interesting development that we shall look forward…

PRESENTER: Well it might be quite good for him to have closer relationships with various Asian people because it might make him change his views, don’t you think.

WONG: I think… we certainly would expect a Minister of Foreign Affair be very… making very considerate statements and well-researched facts. Yes, it’s not all loss. I was just wondering about what sort of, you know, foreign affair initiative we might be looking forward to, under the minister, in something along the line that maybe New Zealand can look forward to a closer relationship with Highland Whisky Distiller of Scotland. [presenter laughs] And maybe Wellington’s Green Parrot will find it a bit lonely because Mr Peters may…

PRESENTER: Be too busy overseas.

WONG: Maybe doing a lot of [unclear] in the Beijing [unclear] restaurant.



A quasi-Cantonese source who heard the interview live informed me that the first omitted word was cambai - which is, I assume, that crazy dialect's version of the Mandarin, ganbei or 干杯.

That is, Wong thinks Peters will be doing a lot of *cocaine* in Beijing *Triad* restaurants. Open to interpretation of course, suggestions welcome. On second thoughts send them to David Slack, I have a low threshold for Asian whore jokes.

But yes, it's funny. I'm laughing. It's pure absurdism, and therefore somehow harmless. Even certain unnamed sources within the Asia:NZ Foundation (which is a part of the MFAT stable) are amused that Winnie will be forced to straddle the Asian-loving learning curve.

Here's something I said about the now pretty-much irrelevant pre-election NZ First Immigration Policy launch in a previous post:

The worst thing about Winston Peters is that he doesn't mean anything he says, and we are wired for taking hypocrisy as the biggest sin, always. Can anyone really believe Peters cares about preserving traditional old white New Zealand life? He'd love it if Auckland transformed suddenly into Hong Kong! The booze! The clubs! The shoeshiners! The women! The cigarettes! You can smoke anywhere in China! Smoke in restaurants! In cinemas! In hospitals! He'd be in heaven.

And now it's come true, and suddenly it's not infuriating, it's funny. Funny funny funny! It may become less funny, but when it comes to Winston, you have to grab these precious moments when they come along.

Here's another one:

PRESENTER: Well he has said in the past he probably has Chinese blood in his veins, so I guess that’s some cause for optimism.

WONG: I’m sure there might be an extensive research project being undertaken to further cement that relationship. Having a distant relative in the cabinet may have some, you know, something that we should try to look forward to.

I was going to congratulate Pansy for now being simultaneously the most left wing and the most right-wing Chinese Member of Parliament since the loss of Act's Kenneth Wang, but now I remember that Winston, and all the Maori and Pacific MPs need to be included in that range. Hmm. She's just the most right-wing now I guess. So instead I'll congratulate her for having dodged the bullet. I theorised last month that the reason Wong had not walked already over the Nats' immigration policy and prospects of a deal with NZ First, was that she was betting on losing the election. No wonder she's so cheery now! In fact, she sounds as if she's been doing a lot of [Nos] in The Beijing [(Riddiford Street, Newtown)] restaurant. Wellington's finest.

P.S. Contrary to what Russell claims on this typically mammoth Just Left comments thread I don't think I am 'inclined today to give Peters the benefit of the doubt' overall (although yes, I am somehow more annoyed by Peter Dunne being made a Minister on his fingernail of fundy party-votes). Just taking time to appreciate life's little absurdities I guess. Is the Immigration Act Review going to be terrifying? Will I be spitting tacks? Will the Embedded Asian Underground engineer a public sector revolt? Is the Labour Party leadership a bunch of predictable sellouts who I never voted for anyway? Entirely possible. But for now, cut me up a line and bring on the three courses of duck.