A/ Hank could barely believe that he was in the last four on Survivor – Mexico the 25th series. That Mavis had also survived was great too. Mavis and he had made an alliance very early on and now had even agreed that if either of them won they would split the million bucks. Two old farts – Hank was well aware of the nickname whispered behind their back – into the final four!!

B/ Of course they had not be able to win any of the physical challenges, but what Hank and Mavis lacked in rippling biceps, triceps and quadriceps and skinny toned and taut bodies shamelessly flaunted at every opportunity, they more than made up for in cunning and guile. They had played the game well using all their years of experience and nous to overcome the “bodies beautiful”. There was no doubt that they were a handsome group but, oh so, shallow with strangely vacuous minds. Hank liked to think that in the end they had won, if not, the love of their tribes, then at least the respect of most of the other contestants – especially as they had waved one after another of them goodbye.

C/ Hank and Mavis went down to the sea to have a private conversation and plan for the forthcoming tribal council. They needed to strategise about their voting. Mavis had indicated quietly, earlier, that she thought that she had convinced Aishlee to vote with them and against Stream. Stream was an underwear model from New York; Hank snorted every time he thought of Stream modelling, what sort of job was that for a real man he often asked himself. What sort of made-up name was that! How he had lasted this long was frankly beyond Hank.

D/ Hank felt very hopeful, after his private talk with Mavis that they had Aishlee on their side and that Stream would be ousted later today. Frankly he would shed no tears when that happened. Then the path would be clear for them to vote Aishlee out, he couldn’t understand how Aishlee had not figured out that if Stream went she would be vulnerable but poor lass was a little naïve and scatty. She was more concerned about the state of her nails, than the state of the game. Lucky for them!

E/ Hank leaned back and allowed himself, for the first time, to dream about winning the million bucks, about the celebrity status and hoopla which would inevitably come their way, the chat shows – Letterman and perhaps even that dreadful woman DeGeneres! There would be product endorsements, openings to attend, speeches to make, it was a delicious daydream. Who knew, perhaps even, Hollywood would want to make a movie about their great survival. If that happened Hank thought Tom Cruise would play him very nicely indeed. Yes indeed he sighed.