Posts by Danielle
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Hard News: Auckland City Nights, in reply to BenWilson,
I hate that overly smarmy service you get in American restaurants and much prefer NZ's laid-back approach (which in most cases isn't poor service, just not actively ingratiating). I always tip 20 percent in the US because those poor bastards probably find it it hard enough having to metaphorically insert their heads up everyone's asses just to make a living wage.
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Hard News: Complaint and culture, in reply to Deborah,
Some women find producing enough milk very hard indeed, especially if they have other children to care for.
I’m slightly antsy about this prospect with Pending Number Two. I know that in the first few months with Number One I was breastfeeding him about eight hours a day (he was a slow sucker). It was like a full time job – and I was under no particular stress and didn’t have to go back to an office or a factory, either. I can’t imagine how a lot of people manage.
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Hard News: Complaint and culture, in reply to jessica scott,
People tend to balk a little at disembodied boobs on greeting cards.
(I fed plenty of breast milk via bottle.)
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Do I really have to say out loud that women are not cows? Or sheep?
Apparently. Jesus.
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I have friends with new twins who didn't get to see a lactation consultant for FOUR DAYS. That can be the difference between success or failure with breastfeeding.
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Hard News: Complaint and culture, in reply to Ross Mason,
Dude. Stop digging.
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It all becomes clear to me now: if only some blowhard had burst into my hospital room in that first week - while my nipples were painfully bleeding all over my baby's face as I fed him - and told me that breastfeeding difficulties were all in my poor attitude! Then I would magically have had no problems at all!
I think it would be remiss to suggest to a mother- ‘look you have two options here, and they’re both equal’.
No one IS suggesting that.
I think a bit of ‘pressure’ is not a bad thing.
Could we perhaps be 'supportive and encouraging' to mothers rather than 'accusatory and patronising'? You catch more bees with honey, and all that jazz.
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Hard News: Complaint and culture, in reply to Andrew C,
While Im sure they mean well, being told you suck as a mum is simply cruel, and they really need to change up.
I found attitudes to breastfeeding varied widely, particularly when I was in hospital. As someone who had to supplement with formula for the first few weeks (mainly because I was sick: more on that later) but then happily continued with breastfeeding for over a year, there were some hospital midwives who really exercised the 'pressure with guilt' button way too often, and then some others who were very understanding and practical about things like bleeding nipples (awesome) and formula. There's a line between 'actively encouraging' and 'assholey' and I think perhaps it's overstepped sometimes, particularly when parents are emotionally fragile and sleep-deprived. Some consistency would be nice.
The North and South article has put me in a weird mental state. I'm one of those people whose pregnancy was totally fine... until it wasn't (hypertension at 41 weeks! failed induction! emergency c! readmittance to the HDU two weeks postpartum for what doctors solemnly called a "major event"! congestive heart failure! Yes, I am great fun at parties). So while I academically applaud a more parent-centred approach to births, and appreciate what the feminist health movement did for patient autonomy in childbirth, the thought of being solely under a midwife's care, and that midwife not being risk-averse enough, gives me... pause? (Translation: terrors.) I feel a bit guilty about that.
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Honestly, just how hard is it for these people to put out a politely-worded 'yeah, we totally fucked up this whole thing'?
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Hard News: 2011: The Year Of What?, in reply to Rich Lock,
Bloody dystopians, ruining it for everyone.