Posts by Emma Hart
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How can I make sure that my children grow up with the same experiences I had?
When my son was about 18 months old, he once got to stay up all evening because The Empire Strikes Back was on TV and we forgot he was there.
He's now seventeen, and a couple of weeks ago when he had a bunch of his friends around gaming, one of them said, "It's just like that thing from The Matrix," and they all made agreeing grunt-sounds. They were all little kids when The Matrix came out, but their geek-parents had made sure they'd all seen it.
We wanted our kids to have a better experience than we did. That's why they think there's only one Matrix movie, and only one Highlander, and only two Aliens. But the Star Wars prequels? Our kids were old enough to nag us to go see them. I've seen one and two way more times than is advisable for continuing sanity. Attack of the Clones is on my list of Top 5 Worst Movies I've Seen All Of.
So if my kids were older, yeah, I'd have shown them Star Wars in Machete order, and been unavoidably somewhere else the night of Attack of the Clones. But we were unable to protect them, and for that I will always be sorry.
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Up Front: Or It's Who We're Drinking With..., in reply to Kirsten W,
So, PSA and Vic uni have started a research project.
Yeah? I'd be interested to hear more about that.
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Southerly: Gerry Brownlee: “I Like To…, in reply to David Haywood,
Once I have a few moments I shall visit an optometrist and either my life shall be transformed or I will be declared legally blind (hopefully the former).
Dude. Now. I don't want to be flip or anything? But it could be a tumour.
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Up Front: Or It's Who We're Drinking With..., in reply to Pete,
Presumably more Bis are drinking due to social isolation seeing as they're a smaller proportion of the population
Smaller than straights? Yes. Smaller than gays? No.
are we going to see Auckland (for example) as the getaway city for Bis to go to like Sydney traditionally has been for teh gays?
One of the things that came out in the last bunch of US research was that when gays and lesbians 'move to the city', their mental health improves. When bis do it, it gets worse. Now, that wasn't my personal experience, because I at least had a peer group that accepted me, but I did still experience exclusion from minority-sexuality groups. So perversely, a city having a strong "LGBT" culture may not make it an easier place to be bi.
I have always been a fairly touchy person, particularly with friends. Lately, I am less so, and am sometimes (not often) quite uncomfortable, even with my closest friends touching me - in non-sexual ways.
I love having my hair stroked - if I am relaxed. If I'm not, , if I'm just not in that place, it feels hugely uncomfortable and proprietal. I live in my head more than any other part of my body. Touching my head is a really intimate thing.
That said, I am really looking forward to getting my hair cut this afternoon.
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Up Front: Or It's Who We're Drinking With..., in reply to Tom Beard,
Among my geeky cohort at varsity there was not a lot of touching, either
But -
all that touchy-feely stuff was for the crazy arts students
Oh. Yeah. Called it. Our group was mostly sciencey boy-nerd types. But there were enough arty geeky girls to offset that, and because of the gender imbalance, they were the ones who had the social power. So, hugging. Massages. Non-consequence snogging.
I still remember how amazing it was to get my hair washed by someone else after having three days at home alone with no company a few years back. Like chocolate after a fast.
Even though I live in a fairly touchy environment, I still quite like this. I get it with massage, acupuncture, even tattooing. Being touched in a completely safe, non-demanding way is very relaxing.
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Up Front: Or It's Who We're Drinking With..., in reply to BenWilson,
Is there any right or wrong about it? Doesn't seem any more fucked up than, say, the rule that you should never touch a Thai on the head.
My 'logical pattern loving' brain says there should be a continuum of touch, and the more extensive the touch, the more it's reserved for lovers. But I'm allowed to full-body hug my friends (except those who don't like it, and that's personal not social) but I can't hold their hands walking down the street.
if I'm seeing two girls in a bar
See, I'm looking at it from this perspective. If I'm young, and same-sex attracted, and a woman in a bar is kissing me, how do I know if she's attracted to me, or if she's kissing me because she wants a man to find her attractive? Consider, for a moment, how fucking depressing that question is.
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Up Front: Or It's Who We're Drinking With..., in reply to Bart Janssen,
A huge part of this is the social conditioning we have that we are unaware of. Snogging is part of sex, holding hands is not, but why?
This is a really interesting question. Or at least, 'holding hands' in our culture seems a bit fucked up. We hold hands with lovers, and with children. And that's it. It's quite common in other cultures for friends to hold hands, but Pakeha NZers never seem to do that. And if I'm sleeping with someone, and they're reluctant to hold hands with me in public? That relationship isn't going to last long.
The rest of it is a bit simpler. Holding hands, along with kissing, is Love. That's sweet and lovely and fine in public. Snogging is sex, which is dirty and wrong in most contexts and definitely not fine in public. (If I'm sleeping with someone and they're reluctant to snog me in public? That relationship isn't going to last long.)
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Angus, the point (and even as I type that phrase, the sense of wasting my time is crushing) is that you're making blanket statements about the Muslim world, or the Arab world (terms you seem to think are interchangeable, because I'm not sure where you drifted from one to the other) without acknowledging the immense diversity of opinions and cultures and people (many of whom are actually women) you're eliding. It'd be sad to watch if it wasn't so vile.
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Up Front: Or It's Who We're Drinking With..., in reply to TracyMac,
Is it an improvement that Katy Perry has given permission for (straight?) chicks to snog each other at parties?
I've been thinking about this overnight, and I have mixed thinkings. Yes, it's more acceptable than it was for two women to kiss, and certainly more acceptable than for two men. But for me it contributes to that feeling that that side of my sexuality is faked, performative, done mostly for the benefit of others. It reinforces the idea that bi women are just straight attention-seekers.
And do not get me started on men who pressure straight women into snogging each other when they're drunk. What better way to tell someone, "You exist solely for my entertainment"?
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Hard News: Crossing the line into idle bigotry, in reply to Angus Robertson,
I contend that some Arabian princes
You know the country with the largest Muslim population is in ASIA, right?
I contend that some Arabian princes should spend less time worrying about where to spend their next $100billion and a little more about the welfare of their subjects well-being.
Yeah, man, you never see Arab royalty at the fore-front of movements to improve the welfare of their people, especially not women and children oh wait.