Posts by dyan campbell
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If there is a Hell, for me it will involve shopping, and clothing stores,
Me too, I hate clothes shopping… I buy nearly everything online. Before that I used to buy through mail-order catalogues. I like clothes, though not nearly as much as when I was young. I don’t care that much about my hairstyle, though once when a hairdresser mistakenly heard me say “I’d like to look like a cross between Marilyn Waring and Hitler” I did feel like a haircut victim for a couple months.
The concept of “happy with their bodies” for most women refers to their appearance – particularly their size – and I somehow was fortunate enough to have missed the social programming that makes a person respond to these particular cues from society. I care about my body in terms of avoiding pain and having boundless energy, strength and speed. At 53 (54 next month) I still like snowboarding, swimming, running, though the days of 3.5 minute kilometres over distance are a distant memory, and that loss of speed frustrates and upsets me much more than the appearance of my body ever does.
There was a conversation (here on PAS) a while back about how fashion magazines made women feel insecure… fashion magazines never had that effect on me. The tacky magazines like Cosmo used to make me howl with laughter, with their tips ranging from the daft (“if you have a pimple, colour it in with an eyebrow pencil an pretend it’s a mole!”) to the potentially fatal (“when soaking your feet for a pedicure, save time by conditioning your hair – and conditioner always works better if you wrap your hair and put on the hairdryer!”).
On the subject of just what “mutton dressed as lamb” – this unfortunate contrast between old face and young style is beautifully delineated in Gabrielle Colette’s short story The Kepi which describes a tryst between an older woman and a young soldier– the woman was very pretty the night before when it was dark and the soldier was a bit drunk – and she’s still attactive enough the next morning, until she starts being cute and pops the soldier’s kepi on her head, simpering kittenishly,. The soldier suddenly he notices she is not cute at all but a bit grotesque under his hat and way, way too old for him. He flees. She would have looked fine if only she’d stayed away from the kepi. Or she’d have looked adorable under the kepi if she’d been young. But middle aged and kittenish under a kepi… not good.
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Clark demeaned herself to go for the women’s magazine demographic.
That wouldn’t be a convincing rebuttal to my assertion even if we were discussing how much integrity or judgement a former Prime Minister had compared to the current one – and Key does not compare well to Clark in terms of an ability to honestly state his position,
John Key claims to be unable to remember his position on the Springbok tour. I don’t think it would have been possible to live in New Zealand and not hold a position, and I don’t believe he doesn’t remember what opinion he held. If he genuinely did not have an opinion, that doesn’t indicate much character either, or at least not the kind of character you want to see in a leader. John Key’s insincerity and inability to answer difficult questions is widely mocked – ask any BFM interviewer – a difficult question invariably prompts him to run so fast for a flight he must have boarded planes while they were taxiing down the runway.
Key’s pandering to the boof-head demographic also reminds me of the opening lines of George Eliot’s savagely satirical essay A Too Deferential Man
A little unpremeditated insincerity must be indulged under the stress of social intercourse. The talk even of an honest man must often represent merely his wish to be inoffensive or agreeable rather than his genuine opinion or feeling on the matter in hand….
But there are studious, deliberate forms of insincerity which it is fair
to be impatient withPaul’s quote:
Dyan, I agree and I’ve made essentially the same comment in this thread somewhere. Perhaps we’re misunderstanding each other?
My point above, however, quoted Kyle’s view that Key’s appearance at the RWC event was appropriate and I agree with him.
Whoops, sorry Paul, I was confused.
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Key’s put on walk to emulate a model, so what, unless we’re going talk about the objectivication of women generally, can’t we just accept he’s entering into the spirit of things which, IMHO, is exactly what the PM should do
As several of us have already said here the issue that is deeply offensive is the cringe-inducing willingness to bond with hosts on a tacky sad tv show to pander to a deomographic group – boofheads.
John Key’s subsequent justification that “[Veitch] is a guy that’s clearly made mistakes, and in the end, hopefully he’s learned his lessons,” is an alarming insight into his concept of what constitutes a mistake or learning a lesson.
Tony Veitch is not a journalist who posed questions to which Key was required to respond. He one of the hosts of a tv show that has a tacky, sadly out of date format.
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I’m not offended by John Key rating the sexual value of women (or men for that matter) but his inability to tell the difference between a mistake and a violent crime is really, really offensive.
It’s a mistake if you injure someone accidentally, though of course you can injure someone accidentally, and it’s still classified as a crime, like the fellow who shot a teacher while “hunting” illegally and dangerously – criminally stupid, but a genuine mistake, characterised by horror and remorse at the outcome.
A violent crime is not a mistake. Tony Veitch didn’t make a “mistake” he committed a violent crime.
John Key confuses violent crime with a mistake in The Herald
But Mr Key did not resile from them, nor from his appearance on Veitch’s show.
Veitch was convicted of recklessly injuring his partner after a high-profile case that cost him jobs in media.
Other assault charges were dropped and Veitch was hired by Radio Sport.
“[Veitch] is a guy that’s clearly made mistakes, and in the end, hopefully he’s learned his lessons,” Mr Key said.
“I engage with a lot of journalists. Some of them have history and some of them don’t. That’s not my concern. My concern is to make sure that I represent the views I want to represent on those shows."
I differentiate between a social association – matey joking about who’s fuckable or how desirable it would be to be compulsively and indiscriminately promiscuous like Tiger Woods – and professional association, for instance answering a relevant question posed by an journalist during an interview. Key was not providing information, he was trying to “bond” with hosts on a tacky sad tv show to pander to a deomographic group – boofheads.
The nature of the show Key appeared on is pretty dated and repellant to begin with. Key was bonding and sniggering with his hosts, and that looks foolish if you’re leading a country, no matter who your host is. But if it’s someone with a violent criminal record – it makes their sniggering bonding guest look even more offensive, irresponsible, and potentially intimidating by association.
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Emma – this is an extraordinary thread and many many lurkers have found it both helpful and resonating to their own experiences. Losing your Mum was great grief, but as a word-alchemist, you have transmuted your grief into the rarest pounemu. Thank you.
I feel exactly what Islander says, and thank you Emma, what you wrote is beautiful, and insightful. Thank you Islander as well.
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The tacit endorsement by social association with a man who left his partner with bones that had been kicked to pieces really eclipses anything else.
I’d really like to know how far that moral contagion goes –
Fair question - I differentiate between a social association - matey joking about who's fuckable or how desirable it would be to be compulsively and indiscriminately promiscuous like Tiger Woods - and professional association, for instance answering a relevant question posed by an journalist during an interview. Key was not providing information, he was trying to "bond" with hosts on a tacky sad tv show to pander to a deomographic group - boofheads.
The nature of the show Key appeared on is pretty dated and repellant to begin with. Key was bonding and sniggering with his hosts, and that looks foolish if you're leading a country, no matter who your host is. But if it's someone with a violent criminal record - it makes their sniggering bonding guest look even more offensive, irresponsible, and potentially intimidating by association.
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ETA: And of course if my husband decided it was appropriate to be regularly interviewed by Tony Veitch, we’d have WAY more to discuss than whether he thought Liz Hurley was hot.
Bull’s eye. The tacit endorsement by social association with a man who left his partner with bones that had been kicked to pieces really eclipses anything else.
I know Tony Veitch needs to work but I would prefer it not in front of the camera, That your Prime Minister would blather on in such a matey style about such inappropriate topics in a public forum, hosted by someone whose media image is defined by brutality and an absence of basic respect towards women disturbs me far more than anything else here. Part of what disturbs me is the fact that John Key is a the leader of a country and his inability to even simulate a sober, intellectual personality is just embarrassing. Must he be such a pinhead?
What I mean by "pinhead" also refers to his inability to remember his position on the Springbok tour and his blithe declaration that money for early childhood education was not a priority for his government.
What does ETA mean other than “estimated time of arrival”?
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I know I became a lot more cautious at surf beaches in general after Dad got bowled at Waihi and came out of the water holding one shoulder at a decidedly odd angle.
Exactly like one of the many, many surf injuries my physio husband sees in his practice a dozen times a week during the summer! He’s quite evangelical about how dangerous surf can be for this kind of injury, and how it can be so, so much worse – though it’s safe enough if you have a decent boogie board. Don’t bother with the kind that aren’t fibreglass reinforced.
No fun for anyone concerned, most of all Dad who on top of the dislocation and a bumpy ambulance ride had to wait about two and a half hours before the doctors at Tauranga hospital finally deigned to give him painkillers.
This seems cruel, but there would be a good reason for waiting before they rule out a need for surgery. Anesthetists are understandably nervous about putting patents under if they have been dosed with painkillers.
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I’m getting too old for it, frankly – every time I get dumped I think, not without cause, that I’ve hurt my back or something.
It’s not your age, it’s the surf Russell. If you get separated from your boogie board, it dumps you on the top of your head with thousands of kilos of force, and hopefully the bottom of the ocean is just a few feet further below you …
This is particular point always being made by Paul – as a physiotherapist and he sees a lot of neck/shoulder/back injuries from being dumped by surf. And the injuries Paul treats, they’re the good outcomes. It’s quite easy to break your neck that way, if you get separated from your boogie board. Which is best reinforced with fibreglass – we hear of people whose styrofoam boogie board – along with their neck – snaps if the wave dumps them in too shallow water at the wrong angle.
Boogie boarding is pretty safe, but njury-wise, body surfing would be a whole lot more dangerous than the waterslides of Lynn Canyon, as their nature tends to encourage a very cautious type of play which doesn’t lull you into a false sense of safety.
A boogie board (one reinforced with fibreglass) will go a long way to preventing a snapped neck. Just don't let go if it.
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I know there is a need to keep from over protecting children, but the point at which they need to explore a water environment and perform feats of daring is after they’ve gained considerable proficiency in the water.
Before kids can swim they should be within an arm’s reach and watched. After that, then get adventurous.
This is one of the places where I used to swim- Lynn Canyon, in North Vancouver- the water’s beautiful for swimming, like rainwater.
The more adventurous leaping I left to the boys, who have done this for generations. My young friend James here is doing a 100 foot leap, which is even higher (by a good 30 feet) than the kids in my day. We didn’t have a gaggle of tourists watching, though.
Love the helmet cam.
And the fine tradition of the waterslides goes on. Hint: the dangerous part is not the rocks, as long as you roll at the right spot. The dangerous part is the foamy water, you want to do this in late summer, when the water’s running low.