Posts by Tom Beard

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  • Hard News: Quantum Faster,

    Quantum as an adjective?! I've always preferred it as a noun ... especially because it renders John Key's phrase unintelligible.

    * S: (n) quantum (a discrete amount of something that is analogous to the quantities in quantum theory)

    Much as I enjoy being a pe(n)dant myself, the metaphorical sense of a "quantum leap" meaning a very big jump has been around for a very long time, and is pretty well understood. There is also some sense in relating it to its original physical meaning, since despite a quantum jump being very, very tiny, in the context of subatomic physics it actually refers to a substantial change in energy. And most importantly, it means a discrete jump, one that goes between two distinct levels with nothing in between. So in this sort of context, it means more than an incremental improvement in speed: one that in a perhaps more loathsome form of jargon is sometimes called a "step change".

    But "quantum" as a noun to simply mean "amount"? Grrrr.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Hard News: Quantum Faster,

    Key himself enthused to students in at Waitara College that they would be able to "download a movie in seven seconds".

    Ah, but they probably won't be in Waitara by then. And did he say anything about it being a feature-length movie? This way, if nothing comes to pass he can always explain himself by saying "Ah, well the gummint has ensured that by the time a quantum of you have graduated and moved to downtown Auckland, you'll, ah, be able to to go into a major corporate office and download a 2-minute short film in 7 seconds."

    And only vaguely apropos of broadband: with all the talk about Woosh's troubles, what are the chances of them suddenly going titsup.com and leaving me without a connection? And are there any decent broadband providers in downtown Wellington that can meet my modest needs (currently less than 5GB/month) at a reasonable price without having to pay for a phone line?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • OnPoint: Being a dick about Earth Hour,

    There won't be any polar bears to hug soon, thanks to global warming.

    "Ice/Floe/Nowhere to go" takes on a more poignant tone in that context, doesn't it?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Up Front: Making a List, Not Bothering…,

    and what about images of humourously shaped vegetables? clearly morally dangerous.

    To quote Baldrick: "it is if you sit on one".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Cracker: Post St Patrick's Day Blues,

    @Damian - of course, I would never actually buy a sequinned bow tie. It's physically impossible to tie a bow tie without damaging the sequins, and there's no way I'll wear anything pre-tied. I'll stick to plain black for evening and blue foulard for going to the cricket.

    And as for the satin-backed waistcoats: I haven't seen any of those at World, and the only one I've bought recently is from Mandatory, which is generally a little more classic and restrained in its designs. Of course, wearing it with matching trousers and a tie makes one look as if one were Roger Stirling heading off for a three-Martini lunch: but I'd much rather that than look like I was heading off to a team meeting at Wernham Hogg, which is what most corporate attire looks like these days.

    Bring back the dandy, I say, and open up the range of options for menswear. No matter whose watch it is.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Cracker: Post St Patrick's Day Blues,

    their fashion aesthetic, which personally I've always found to fluctuate between tasteless and gimmicky and Rupert the Bear.

    Sure, they're over the top a lot of the time, but there are precious few other designers creating menswear with a touch of whimsy, glamour and colour. I may be too old, fat and heterosexual to pull off a lot of their looks, but I've got to love any place that sells sequinned bow ties.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Hard News: Not Helping,

    And cheese. Honestly I cannot get over how average-to-awful cheese is in New Zealand.

    Having polished off some rather good Karikaas mature Leyden after dinner, I can't entirely agree with you.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Hard News: Just shoot me,

    Unfortunately, she seems happy enough to twitter about it interviews.

    Twittering during an interview? How rude!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Hard News: Friday Media Bag,

    Cthulhu, Paul Holmes and Damian. Do I detect a theme?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Hard News: Friday Media Bag,

    A guy in my neighbourhood has a dog named Brian. I'm told that's not so original.

    Does he have a penchant for Martinis and cocaine?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

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