Posts by David Haywood
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Jolisa wrote:
Not forgetting the otter erotica, too.
... coming your way in book form this Christmas (in conjunction with the superb illustrations of artist Peter Adamson). Sample pages here.
Also available in a German translation, of course (and perhaps Māori, too).
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Thanks for all the kind messages, people! And good point about the pikelets, Dr Dickison.
I should've also mentioned why I haven't written earlier -- too busy fixing stuff and recuperating. No doubt if I'd been Orwell I'd have scribbled a brilliant essay while we were sheltering under the doorframe.
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P.P.S. Thanks for the many kind emails and txts that people have sent over the past few days. I've had a lot of problems with my phone and have only just started checking my email -- but I'll reply to you as soon as possible (once I've got our roof water-tight again!).
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How quaint. Dating land by when it was populated by us talking apes.
Graeme may, of course, be making the distinction between history (subsequent to written records) and prehistory (prior to written records) as often used in academia.
Interestingly, Iceland is often said to be (by, for example, Encyclopedia Brittannica) the only country with no prehistory, since it was originally settled by literate people.
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The weirdest thing about the Herald's death porn (see Dr Tiso's comment above) is that the stand-in for the dead man appears to be Nat Torkington...
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Lilith wrote:
I wonder if Marianne and the giant bug could feature in another story with some of your characters from The Funeral? It could be called Naked Afternoon Tea.
My God, that's a genius suggestion!
Russell Brown wrote:
... you would never have known from his demeanor on return that [David] had just published on the internet a story about interspecies sex.
Ah yes, it's the quiet (not to mention socially-retarded) ones that you've got to watch.
Ross Mason wrote:
'Pon my soul I don't know the guy from a BP Weta. I was going for the funny....did you miss it?
No, didn't miss it -- just got diverted, alas!. Nominative determinism was rife in my former department, so it just washes over me now. There was also a technician called Ron Tinker, and a tool-maker called Otto Bolt. Although there was another employee called Bruce Sparks who, sadly, wasn't an electrician.
Evan Yates wrote:
I really, really like the way the story starts off as an innocent anecdote from Dr. David's past... and then just surreptitiously segues into the bizarre world of The Mothman Prophecies...
Very pleased that you enjoyed it, Evan!
Philip Challinor wrote:
My darling is sexy and scary:
Her eyes rather bulgey and starey...Always thrilled when I've helped inspire another masterpiece from the Bard of Public Address!
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The Other Andrew Smith wrote:
I had wander off and check my bookcase for a similar short story. Ah, there it is, Mimic by Donald A. Wollheim
Dude, don't scare the crap out of me like that! I've never heard of Mimic or Donald A. Wollheim, but thankfully (from the summary on Wikipedia), it doesn't sound much like 'The Truth About Talkback'. The word 'similar' might be a bit of a stretch here, I think.
Yes, it would've been cool to have swarms of half-praying mantis/half-termite things gobbling-up people in subways -- but it wouldn't have been cool to have Jolisa 'Death to Plagiarists' Gracewood on my back.
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Last century I did some work for Graeme Ramsay (Entomologist)
Ahem. Yes, he was my neighbour growing up. An extremely nice chap, and nothing like the party-going Gavin Ramsey (probably no relation).
Incidentally, Dr Graeme Ramsay had a couple of splendid Armstrong Siddeley cars, and once gave me a ride in one of them -- a huge highlight in my life as a nine-year-old.
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Delighted that so many people have managed to read to the end of such a long piece -- thank youse for all the kind words...
Ross Mason wrote
Well Bug ger me.
Mike Flaws was the department's microscopist
Oops! Mike Flaws really was the microscopist at one of my previous places of employment -- that slipped in accidentally somehow. I wonder if he'll sue.
Bart Janssen wrote:
I have to wonder about how long the incubation period is, personally I suspect it's close to 9 years (or three terms).
You make a good point -- I should probably write a follow-up paper investigating that...
BenWilson wrote:
Perfect screenplay...
I did actually start out writing this as a screenplay for a short film -- so if you know of any film-makers wanting a script, then feel free to pass it on...
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Glad this wee piece was able to provide some amusement and enlightenment.
I'd originally tried to submit it to the Journal of Insect Mimicry but they rejected it on the basis that it was already established knowledge (and, of course, that the article didn't contain enough sex with insects to interest their readership).
Sarah Wedde: oh yes, I should have mentioned the clever adaptation to disguise the compound eyes!