Posts by Emma Hart
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(The late Kevin Smith subsequently related to me an account of this that still makes me cringe.)
My mum used to give him lifts home from rehersals. That guy could really tell a story.
Sheesh Emma, your ending sounds like a better beginning.
Yeah, sorry, I'm either an optimist or really avoidant.
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I didn't feel lost or like I was in a crazy new place. Auckland felt normal. It felt like the city I was supposed to live in. Soon enough I had a posse, stuff to do, places to be.
This is scarily exactly how I feel about Christchurch. Moving here from Timaru was like (ironically) being able to breathe for the first time. Timaru had been all about oddity and abuse and violence and hiding who I was. (Three hours at the pointy end of an ex-boyfriend's loaded crossbow, ffs, and that was without telling him I was now having a secret lesbian affair while her boyfriend was training at Burnham.)
Christchurch was about walking down the street wearing a hat and not being abused. Going from being 'ugly' to having strange, drunken men giving me flowers. Coming out and knowing I wasn't going to get beaten senseless.
The year I left Timaru, two guys were killed in the Scenic Reserve over a pig. The year after I left, the boy who lived with his grandmother next door to my mum was actually literally stoned to death. He had spina bifida.
My friend jsr and I made a deal: if either one of us thought about going back, the other would stage an intervention.
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But then we're back to that circular argument: is there no legitimate reason for a woman to strip/do porn/prostitute herself? Must she, by definition, always be an exploited person? There are women out there who strip/do porn/prostitute themselves who would argue otherwise. Do we then dismiss their view of themselves on the basis that that they can't see the exploitation that we (in our humble righteous opinions) 'know' is there?
And I could keep coming back to this all day, obviously. Not because I think this is the dominant experience for strippers, at all, just because I'm fascinated by inherent contradictions and exceptions rather than rules. So people like Victoria Zdrok fascinate me, because why does someone who's passed their bar exam and who has a doctorate in clinical psychology become a porn actress? I know this isn't typical but it's a hiccup for easy answers. And I'm not Allison Janney so I don't know why she chooses to pole dance as recreation, but she says she loves it so I believe her.
And I honestly think the discussion here moved in the direction it did because we simply don't have the experience or the data to answer anjum's questions, so we naturally drift to stuff that maybe we can get somewhere exploring, it's not that we're saying it doesn't matter.
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The day we filed for divorce was utterly surreal and I wonder sometimes what the woman behind the counter thought. There was me, obviously pregnant, my current partner holding our toddler while he chatted away amiably to my soon-to-be-ex-husband. The marriage had been over for years by the time the final decree arrived, but it still felt kind of odd. I keep the decree in the back of the wedding album next to the marriage certificate.
We've just told our eleven year old son there's no Santa Claus. He already knew and we knew he knew but he was keeping schtum for obvious reasons. (We were watching Gremlins with them and Kate was explaining about finding their father's body stuck in the chimney and then she says 'and that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus'. Oops.)
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I wonder if John's promo shot will feature him in his undies next?
Assuming you mean John Campbell, we can hope. I know some women who have some serious mind-pron issues with that suit.
Science/engineering is totally visual for me, so it really gives me gyp to try and do it on the radio.
Honestly, I just wanted to see how knackered you really were.
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Binik, the study's author, said he didn't actually show that women like pornography — just that their bodies react to it.
Nor does the study, as represented in the article, appear to show that women don't like pornography. As some women clearly DO like pornography (unless you take the view that they're delusional, liars, or stupid, all of which are pretty insulting) I'd have to say... um, and?
One thing that really boggles me about those studies: a lot of them seem to be producing results on 'who responds to pron in public/ in a clinical environment'. Cause I don't think I could really enjoy myself with a bunch of men in lab coats watching...
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I may be shallow, and I am, but I really wanted visuals for this.
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Cool. Genuine insight. Things I'd never thought about before, from people with different brains than mine.
Well, I had to give something back for the half hour I spent at the MsNaughty blog this afternoon going, "Yes, goddammit, that's what I was trying to say".
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Here's a blog I wrote last year on gay pr0n and women. The first comment is from a good friend of mine who writes literal tonnes of slash. Part of the comment goes like this:
mainstream porn has never been about the connection between the individuals within the piece it's about the connection between the the actors and the voyeur. They're performing for someone. With some gay porn it's about the act itself, it's about the connection between two people, and the voyeur isn't acknowledged.
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There are probably heaps of by-women-for-women erotica blogs....I don't know what women might want to look at. Probably not recontextualised gay porn, though.
And then there's the slightly odd phenomenon of slashfic (gay male pr0n lit), the vast majority of which is written by women. I can testify from my personal acquaintance that there are women who really like reading, writing and looking at gay male pr0n.