Posts by Emma Hart

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  • Up Front: The Home Straight,

    Oh what a lovely line.

    Thank you. I have to say if this thread is indicative of the head-patting I get, I shall have to be writerly more often.

    You ought to have been, Taihape is lovely.

    Giovanni, I love you and everything, but no it isn't, it's a hole.

    I say if you have to use huge irrigators just to keep your grass green so your cows have enough to eat so they can produce milk then you are obviously in the wrong type of farming for the area.

    Yeah, I have nothing against dairy farming in itself, it's just that running the most water-intensive type of farm in one of the most drought-prone areas of the country seems... batfuck crazy.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Up Front: The Home Straight,

    I am somewhat ashamed to admit my first thought was "wait, people reproducein Taihape?"

    When you're the nearest pub to an army camp? Hell yeah.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Up Front: The Home Straight,

    on reflection, I think I should have courted the mother with the same vigour. As I recall, she was rather tasty.

    Oh, dude, that's... you know, my ex father-in-law looked and sounded just like Sean Connery. I'm just sayin'.

    the boredom of the Manawatu before we finally got to the Desert Road and Ruapehu rose up before us

    Heh, I was actually born in Taihape. When you're three getting snowed in every year is the best.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Hard News: The Interesting Party,

    Eh?

    What? What? What?

    My mother is eighty, and a farmer's daughter. I do not recognise Planet Fran. It's true I cannot churn butter, work a mangle, or clean shot out of a rabbit (actually I can do that, I just refuse to), but then I strongly suspect neither can she.

    Fuckit, I'm going back to playing Wii bowling.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Up Front: The Home Straight,

    Oh gods... the worst family trip we had was in Wee Jock Silly McPlop, our bright yellow Suzuki Carry Van. The battery kept going flat really quickly, but we figured the long open-road drive would charge it up nicely.

    And it was fine on the trip down, but on the way back, with our fourteen month old son, and me five months pregnant, we ran out of luck in Hinds. The battery was arcing across the cover. We got a jump, but we didn't have enough power to run the headlights. So we drove from Hinds to Christchurch in the dark, with one and a half kids, and no lights. That was one of the scariest things I've ever done.

    Or it was the time when I was sixteen and we headed for Grassy Banks and ended up driving to Chch for a feed and I got completely wasted and had to be poured onto my mother's hall carpet at about two am.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Up Front: The Home Straight,

    As soon as these holidays clear up, I'm of down there scavenging your good rust-less steel. Well, doing a reconnaissance mission at least.

    You can see the car pile on Google Earth. I guess it's easier to look after than a couple of thousand hyacinth bulbs.

    hat stretch of road has different meaning for me as I would sometimes bike from Chch to Ashburton whilst I was at UoC--largely to ingratiate myself with the mother of a girl I lusted after, in my golden years when first at university.

    My gods, that's dedication. I'd either find that touching or slightly creepy.

    The headwind's not as bad (IMO, of course) as the nasty buffety side-wind that likes to play 'let's blow you out in front of a sheep truck for kicks'.

    You wont come across "The Teapot" in Temuka which later, after my father died, became the family's waystop.

    That's where we used to get an ice-cream when I was little. The Temuka by-pass completely infuriates my partner with its startling illogic.

    The Rakaia bridge gives me the heebies a little now because my mother narrowly missed having a very nasty accident on it last year. There is nowhere to go when someone crashes right in front of you.

    Still, it's not as cursed as Hinds, where we've broken down four times. It's always Hinds. I think that's where caycos's barn might be, just south of Hinds?

    strangely when I think of that drive I don't think of pasture, but of the tree plantations

    I seem to remember an incrase in trees, a bit before the vinyards started appearing, which was before the cows. There were very few pine stands this trip, and only a couple of those blasted heaths where they've obviously just cut everything down.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Up Front: First Footing,

    Oh, nice work GP. You can stay.

    I did fly at the end of November, and caved and just had sandals in my luggage to slip on. Yesterday I couldn't walk on the footpath because it was too damn hot, and melted tar is a bitch to wash off. I love summer.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Southerly: Another One for the Kids,

    For those who are interested I have read 'Naked Came the Manatee' and don't think it is worth making a huge effort to track down

    I was fascinated by it as a process - it's an exquisite corpse type story, where each subsequent chapter was written by a different author. You can watch them trying to screw each other over.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Up Front: Absence of Malice,

    I can sing you the chant I learned of the symbols for the first 20 elements but couldn't tell you what the elements are or even which letters represent the sounds I'm saying

    I didn't have a chant, but I was pleased to note that looking at

    Harry HE LIkes BEer By Cupfuls Not Over Flowing

    I still knew what those elements were.

    My brain has an astonishing ability to retain useless crap, like what US state particular towns are in. I do wonder if it wouldn't be good if there were some way to clean that out and use the space for useful stuff.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Current Status: Holidays,

    Basically, I am a know-nothing with the tolerance of a squirrel.

    I went to write 'drink with Danielle' in my little book, but it's already there...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

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