Posts by Hilary Stace
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Many years ago when my family were experiencing pretty much basic day by day survival stuff (my 6 year old daughter and 30 year old husband were both having radiotherapy and an undiagnosed autistic toddler ran riot), I was very grateful for anything that didn't require any brain work or organisational skill on my part and they just did it eg
People who
-organised food rosters and left yummy food on the doorstep
-mowed the lawn
-took either child out for a fun day or even a couple of hours, made them nice clothes, provided toys (my daughter built up a collection of Barbies that didn't traumatise her identity, but provided good props for personal play therapy)
-lent the adults a bach (bliss), and another couple who moved in for the weekend to see if they could cope with kids (they went on to have 3)
-someone, I have never found out who, left $100 cash in the letterbox - which at that point of sickness benefit survival and lots of costs was very much appreciated
-a stranger who handed me a towel as my daughter started vomiting in a carpark after chemo
-popped in or left friendly messages which acknowledged us as people and what we were going through without any need for reply, thanks or easing their unease over us.I have never thanked or responded in kind to most of these people but we really appreciated it.
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And all I could tell the well intentioned friends was that when your partner has died, you don't want to hear about the ones that lived.
Well said. And vice versa.
In fact skip any of that 'I know how you feel' or empathetic talk of 'suffering' and just do practical helpful stuff. Or just send kindness.
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A cheery, non rehearsed kid
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Heard that some of the All Whites have tummy bugs or Suzy has been visiting.
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I like Kevin Rudd. He has a very nice voice. I like those very intellectual, naturally introverted politicians like him (and Helen Clark) who put principles before populism.
I hope he goes somewhere bigger such as international relations or the UN where he can make use of his intellectual and linguistic skills. His fluency in Mandarin could come in handy.
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When has a protest by the left ever been treated sympathetically by the main media? If reported at all they are trivialised and numbers downplayed. I don't recall any friendly treatment of anti-Vietnam war or anti-apartheid protests. Protestors were always portrayed as violent, out of control, and causing problems for NZ's relationship with the foreign power concerned.
Which is why I found last Sunday's Prime television programme on the history of TV so fascinating. Those working there during the 81 tour, reported that newsrooms had been as divided as the rest of the country.
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IIRC the Auditor General's report is called Procurement in the Public service, recently updated from the original report from about 2001 which was the result of an investigation after a then opposition MP (Murray McCully I think) complained about lack of proper process for the letting of a Ministry of Health contract. I wonder what he thinks of the PEDA case?
Since then contracting for public money has been subject to very strict and transparent tender requirements.
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Craig, is this the first time we have ever agreed on something? Are you turning into a socialist?
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Actually, I think a better question to ask would be what is the PEDA initiative trying to achieve. There is no doubt we have many communities, especially in South Auckland, that are dis-empowered and disenfranchised. That someone in National might be looking at how to address these issues is interesting.
In which case, the Budget should have mentioned a sum of money for such a project and then the Ministry of Pacific Island Affairs could have run the usual contestable tender process.
I've been part of an organisation that thought it had been promised money only to see another organisation win it after a contestable process. Which is the way it has to work. The Auditor General has had strong comments to make in the past when money was promised to contractors without this process so will they be looking at PEDA?
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Meanwhile our universities are cutting Gender and Women's studies departments and with them any opportunity to explore these ideas in an academic environment. Victoria has one lone staff member marginalised to an outpost in the Karori (education) campus, and currrently fighting for course survival.
Several men have taken GWS courses, including John Campbell who sometimes mentions Victoria's then Women's Studies department and what he learned there about objectifying women.
But this thread shows how important discussions about feminism(s), media, identity etc still are. I wish the committee deciding VUW's GWSs fate could have read this thread.