Posts by Juha Saarinen

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  • Hard News: An unexpectedly long post…,

    I mean, tea tree oil gives you moobies too, like lavender oil.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Hard News: An unexpectedly long post…,

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Hard News: An unexpectedly long post…,

    Ben, I'm hiring you as marketing manager. You've got ideas. Good ones.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Hard News: An unexpectedly long post…,

    Wish Sue wouldn't veer between common sense and utter nuttiness like this.

    Still though, I hope the new legislation won't put a spanner in the wheel for my new line in Ayurvedic Immune Boosting supplements. They contain what I find in the garden, like ants, cat shit, old fruit, dead rodents/birds and leaves, dessicated, ground up and pressed into convenient pills.

    Got a super strapline as well from an ancient Swami - "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" - and killer design for the $90 each vials.

    Orders taken soon and yes, Vista/Mastercard will do nicely.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Island Life: Snapped!,

    You'll go to Atheists' Hell for this one... but it was good, so I'll join you.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Southerly: Late for What?,

    Then again, it has to be said that original naming is a highly inefficient practice that should be discouraged. Having all those strange first and last names, not to mention middle ones and weird honorifics causes a huge amount of extra work for the authorities.

    It really is time to stop all that wast of time and effort.

    I say, let's regulate the supply of names. First, the Standard First Names can be the current top ten male or female ones. To ensure compliance with the SFN policy, automatic deed polls will be applied to standardise naming in the populace.

    Clearly, there will be some individuals who for whatever reason desire to be different. That's fine, but they are a burden to society and should pay their way. Therefore, they can obtain Personalised First Names from a registered supplier at say $500 each for time-limited ones, or $50,000 for life-time monikers. As there is a limit to human naming imagination, a system whereby PFNs are priced according to how many are allowed them could be introduced.

    Peters could could for instance be made available to say 100 people for less money than ShaFlondas which only five people can have.

    Changes to the Last Names would also be required to derive maximum efficiency benefits. LNs should be replaced by serial numbers, possibly in hexadecimal notation. We can't use barcodes quite yet, not until they teach people to read them at school, so that'll have to wait for Version 2.0.

    Thank you for your time. Please vote for me in the next election - I'll be running for the Antipodean Technocrat Party.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Southerly: Late for What?,

    The Army News correspondent wrote on the JourNZ mailing list of the time she snapped a picture of young girl down in Linton somewhere. Mum was happy with that, and asked what publication it was for. Hearing it was Army news, Mum asked if the correspondent could use only the second part of the girl's name, Kaidah:

    " I had a look at the name she had spelled for me and realised what it
    would sound like when spoken - in all their wisdom, this wee girl's
    parents had named her Alkaidah."

    On a different note, I am somewhat discombobulated by the incredible popularity of David. I responded to a thread on David Farrar's blog, in which David Herkt had posted as well, joined by David Cunliffe's press secretary David McLoughlin. From memory, neither of Davids Haywood and Slack joined in, which was lucky really.

    Some balance is required here, I feel. Doesn't Goliath Haywood have a great slinging ring to it?

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Island Life: LOLnats,

    RUSSB TEH GR4MM#R FRR33k! AHAHHAHAH!
    KEKEKEKE!
    ROFFLES!!!@!@@!!!~~~~

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Hard News: Contains strong language,

    I note that Nat is a fellow victim of Derek and Clive Possession Syndrome (DCPS). Happened to me once while writing the Computerworld FryUp newsletter, with some interesting feedback as a result.

    As for censuses and registration of the populace, my advice, as someone who lived with all that for a long time in the Nordic countries, is... don't. Don't do it, drop the ethnicity questions in the census, and if you must have such a thing, just count people and keep questions to a minimum.

    You can rest assured that the data collected will be abused at some stage or the other, like ending up overseas for marketing purposes.

    Sweden like other Nordic countries use a "personnummer" or a Civic Registration Number, comprising your birthdate plus a check sum. Without such a number, you are nothing. Everything is tied to it, from your social security to tax to bank accounts, the lot. You are not a person, but a number. With that number, you can find out all you want about another person; you can even be another person, like I did when I got fake ID to get into bars that I was too young for. Oh, ID cards with the number are compulsory in Sweden too.

    The Soviets managed to siphon off full copies of the personnummer databases early on. When they boarded Swedish fishing vessels, they simply checked the fishermen's ID cards, and punched in their numbers into handheld terminals sourced from Germany, to get full details of the people onboard.

    By using personnummer and a bit of creative database mashups combined with old-fashion manual spying, the Soviets were also able to map out where Swedish air force pilots lived in preparation for assassination by Spetznaz troops prior to invasion.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • OnPoint: KiwiSaver's dirty secrets - revealed!,

    Touché, Joe... :)

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

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