Posts by Emma Hart
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Moz,
Many women operated on really narrow views of male sexuality and weren’t open to learning, while most of the men I’ve had sex with are more “what does it for you”.
This is a bit of a thing for me, and it constantly irritates me how much of “sex positivity” concentrates on female sexuality. We really need to work over the paradigm of male arousal as being really easy and instant because they’re all total horndogs all the time and ergo you never have to work out what works for a guy because everything does. We still have people commenting at TLG astonished to discover that men can ejaculate without orgasm.
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Russell Brown,
Now having trouble getting the phrase "Last Train to Vagville' out of my head.
Wait, wait, there's a LAST train? As in "and then no more 'trains'?"
Excuse me while I just have a quick panic.
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Field Theory: Rugby World Cup stories, in reply to Kyle Matthews,
We went to the local pub (Vulcan Hotel) to seek some dinner.
Are they still marketing the Vulcan as haunted, Kyle?
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I suspect condom fit is a bigger issue than is generally acknowledged. The social baggage around bigger or smaller fits of that particular product makes the retail interface awkward – and you will not find obviously-marked bigger or smaller condoms in a supermarket.
Yeah, hence my linking to that column of Dorothy's, but I was probably a bit coy about it. Condoms for the Larger Gentleman.
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Hilary Stace,
Nobody seems to be doing any educating about disability and sex.
Not enough, no. Filament magazine is.
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Okay, can I ask that we all just tread carefully here? This is a very personal area, and it would be nice if we could not over-politicise people's individual experiences - we do, after all, want them to keep sharing them.
Read kindly, people.
Responsibility for what happens in a consensual sexual encounter is always shared. Maybe not exactly evenly, but shared. There is only so much responsibility one person can (or I think should) take for another, and if someone agrees to something, if they say they're okay with it, the other person can't actually read their mind.
I mean, maybe it's the influence of BDSM, but I'm not "choosing to have sex", I'm choosing (and helping to produce) the exact scenario that's unfolding at the time. I guess I'm just seeing here a basic unconscious acceptance of the idea that the man gets to decide what happens, and the woman gets to decide whether she agrees to that or not, and even as a sub, that's SO not my experience.
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Yeah, I've never had that happen - the extended 'trying to get a condom on' thing, not ever. And I hate to make suggestions, but the problem might be one touched on in this post. I would take that woman's advice on damn near anything. I've had times when there was a bit of awkwardness, but there was also laughter, and I like my sex with laughter.
I don’t think women should have to ask a man to wear a condom, men should take responsibility for themselves.
Fucking ay. If only for your own sake. You're seriously prepared to give control of your own health to some chick you just met?
And yes, sometimes condoms fail, but unlike other methods of contraception, you know when they have, and you can do something about it. I mean, yeah, I won't say it wasn't a relief to get to a place where contraception is no longer something we have to worry about, because my partner's had a vasectomy, and there were certainly times in my life when condoms weren't used when they should have been, and I'll take my share of the responsibility for that. But it should NOT be that difficult, it really shouldn't.
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Sacha,
Like the way France teaches their children philosophy.
It's also done here, at least in the hippie schools Isabel and I send our kids to.
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Max Rose,
It is harmful because children are literally at the mercy of the classroom teacher
Please, is there some kind of class we could send columnists to to learn what the word "literally" means?
Because, I replied, when they are having sex, they shut their bedroom door. Clear signal.
I was explaining to my partner the difference between ignorance and self-deception the other night. I made it crystal clear for him with the phrase "the children can't hear me."
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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education, in reply to Ian Dalziel,
a hollow horny shaft fringed with vanes of barbs…
Oh Ian, you flatter.