Posts by anjum rahman
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<quote><waves> Hey, you guys? You might make a few of us with vaginas who don't appreciate slut-shaming metaphors a little uncomfortable with that one.<quote>
thank you danielle, you did that so nicely. i just couldn't think of anything that polite!
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I have in mind here a book written by an Aussie woman, which was talked about on nine-to-noon recently.
the author is maggie hamilton, the book is "what's happening to our girls". it was based on her talking to girls around australia as well as teachers, counsellors etc. the findings were scary and quite sad, including low self-esteem, an increase in bullying behaviour, the normalisation of self-mutilation (including cutting, pulling out of hair and others). pity the interview is no longer on-line, but the book is no doubt available and well worth a read.
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nice post, emma (another emma!). just thought you might be interested in this blog post on the difference in male and female uniforms at the olympics.
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but it's still consensual sex
no emma, it isn't always. some of the links i've provided show that. the linda lovelace example was one where she was forced to pretend it was consensual and she was enjoying it, and wasn't free to say anything different until quite some years later. i don't think that is an isolated case, even if it's an old one.
and it may be consensual, but when the alternative is homelessness/ poverty, or going back to an abuse situation, or issues of drug addiction, or issues of low self-esteem due to prior/current abuse, then i don't accept that situation fits into the notion that they've freely chosen to be involved in order to have a good time.
that 35.3% "Felt that they had to accept a client when they didn’t want to in last 12 months" makes one wonder why they did accept them then. what hampered their ability to just say no?
a possibly unrelated point is that the porn industry depends on the notion that the women are behaving consensually and are enjoying what is done to them. when their income depends on looking and acting like they're enjoying it, then chances are that some women are not going to be telling the whole truth when they say they enjoy the degrading sex.
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here is the full link: http://rmott62.wordpress.com/2008/04/04/not-for-sale/. i thought i was doing well finally managing to do proper links, but not perfect yet!
i ended reading a lot last night of the experiences of women in the porn industry. i accept they aren't universal, but i feel totally comfortable making judgements about an industry where this kind of thing happens:
"That's it you little bitch, suck that cock. Share your pretty fucking mouth. Welcome to Blow Bang you whore. Yes, gag you little bitch, to the balls. Yeah, spit up, you little baby. Yes, the cocks love you. You like all the attention, don't you little girl. Filthy fucking cock slut. You are going to cheer for us, you little bitch. You're going to take six for the team. Choke on it. Yes, aren't you popular. Now we know why you're the popular cheerleader. You're not done yet, little girl. You're not done until you give a gift, until you puke. Now you're speaking our language."
--Dialogue from Blow Bang #4, quoted in "Getting Off" by Robert Jensen.here is a powerful piece:
See, here's the deal: just as the men who come to the bar have to be completely devoid of empathy for the women they're buying, the women also have to be completely devoid of empathy for the men who are buying them. It's a survival thing, and besides, how can we like you when you're paying to own us? No, oftentimes women will think and fantasize about smashing your head in with a baseball bat while they gyrate in your lap. But of course, we can't really do that can we? For whatever reason, we must allow ourselves to be bought and sold for the erections that men get over the power associated with owning a human being.
So, while we may be thinking about how disgusting your teeth are, how horrible your breath is, what a stupid shirt you're wearing and how we'd like to run a cheese grater over your smug face, we're smiling and looking at you through submissive eyes as we robotically rub our bodies over yours. But that anger has to go somewhere doesn't it? And, just as with everything else, it does. The anger turns into something else, and oftentimes it is turned inwards. We starve ourselves and abuse ourselves, and let you abuse us because we believe we deserve it. Other times we dull the pain, using alcohol and downers to rid ourselves of the anger, to crush it and keep it in check.
steven, i totally accept that teenage boys can often suffer a significant amount of abuse in the production of porn, that in fact their experiences may be similar to many of the women. maybe some of the men suffer as well.
i guess the reason that some of us have stereotypes about women in the sex industry because of information like this:
In 2003, Melissa Farley and Jacqueline Lynne interviewed 100 prostituted women in Vancouver , Canada .
Their findings included the following:
• 82% reported a history of childhood sexual abuse, by an average of four different perpetrators
• 72% reported a history of physical abuse by a parent or guardian
• Since they began prostituting:
• 90% had been physically assaulted
• 78% had been raped
• 75% had suffered injuries ranging from black eyes to concussions and broken bones
• 67% had pornography made of them
• 64% were forced to perform an act that customers had seen in porn
• 86% reported past or current homelessness
• 82% wanted treatment for drug or alcohol addictionof course many women may freely choose to be involved in this industry and genuinely enjoy it. but what about that seemingly large number of women who don't, the ones who are abused? being non-judemental doesn't seem to be any kind of answer. being supportive of the individual women who have suffered - yes, absolutely. i totally disagree with the "radfem" comment that emma referred to. but let's not pretend that everything is light and fun, and is provided at no cost to anyone.
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some alternative views of pornography, if anyone is interested.
there is a summary of research on pornography here. alot to wade through, some not seemingly relevant, but there are things like this:
Regular users of pornography are more likely to think of women in stereotype, (5) as "socially non-discriminating, as hysterically euphoric in response to just about any sexual or pseudosexual stimulation, and as eager to accommodate seemingly any and every sexual request." (6)
and this:
In 2002, a professor at a Texas University conducted a study of online pornography consumers (heterosexual men who used pornography via Internet newsgroups). On average, respondents looked at 5 hours and 22 minutes of pornography per week. Respondents were divided into three groups: High consumption (more than 6 hours per week), average (2 to 6 hours per week), and low (2 hours or less). The study found that the more pornography men use, the more likely they are to describe women in sexualized and stereotypically feminine terms. They were also more likely to approve of women in "traditionally female" occupations and to value women who are more submissive and subordinate to men. (7)
there are some response to "porn myths" here. and some of these experiences are also worth reading, such as saffy and clara.
i also found this piece on violence without sex compared to violence with sex worth reading.
there's a series of posts on porn here, i've linked to the one i liked best. the others are just before and just after this post. actually, this one is good too:
Participating in your own objectification comes with some major rewards; you get attention (although not respect), you get (limited and questionable) affection, you get a bunch of dudes lusting after you. In short, if you don’t think too hard about it, allowing yourself to be objectified can make you feel valuable and powerful in a system in which women don’t have a lot of access to power (and in which they are fairly consistently undervalued as human beings).
this is a must read, in relation to prostitution. an excerpt:
When I was raped as a prostituted girl or woman, I could not allow myself to view it as rape, however violent it was.
No, I know I had “choosen” to take their money, drinks or bed in exchange for sex. That was my purpose, nothing else.
In that framework, it is easy to believe that man has entitlement to do any sexual fantasy he want. You are the goods after all.
and of course, there are plenty of women who have not so positive experiences in the porn industry, which you can look for yourself, if you're interested. i know that not all women in the industry have a negative experience. but i'll go back to what i said when we were going over this ground last year: how do you know that the woman in the particular video you're watching is not being treated like this? and if you don't know, then it's possible you are a party to abuse.
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if you would kindly die and leave your vast estate to said trust, that would speed things up. Thank you.
owen glenn may be annoyed enough with the MSM here to donate something substantial, well before his demise...
count me in, if anything gets going.
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steve, that's so sad. i had a terrible teacher at around the same age, though she wasn't quite as deliberately cruel as that. i came across her about 5 years ago. all these years i was thinking that if i ever met her, i'd give her a solid piece of my mind. but when it came to it, i found that it just wasn't worth the trouble. but i hate that she's still at a school in this country, able to ruin the lives of many more children...
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and families decide whether to have children, or not. your choice to have children shouldn't entitle you to increased state assistance in and of itself.
and just to play devil's advocate to your devil's advocate, what happens when the contraception fails, as it is bound to do as no contraception is fool-proof? and what happens in cases of sexual violence that result in pregnancy? does that entitle you to increased state assistance, and how would you prove it?
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me too with the cycling/soccer thing. my kids were totally annoyed, it was the first chance we'd had to sit down together to watch the olympics, and they bored us with that soccer match. both of the kids went to bed sorely disappointed at not getting to see the rest of the cycle race. and they would have loved to see the gymnastics which were on really late. aboslutely appalling coverage.