Hard News: Popular Paranoiac Politics
171 Responses
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Andre Alessi, in reply to
I recall many years ago being stopped by a Scientology recruiter on Queen Street and allowing myself to be subjected to their personality test. The man got increasingly irritated at my insistence on answering the questions in a cheery, confident and optimistic fashion. I became increasingly amused by him.
I had exactly the same experience about 13-14 years ago. The very determined surveyer (who was writing their survey on blank bits of recycled newsprint) thought it was odd that my response to her question "What do you need to make you happy?" was "Well, nothing."
For some reason, this inspired her to escort me to a nondescript office building on Queen St, force me to watch interminable Scientology promo videos about volcanoes, take budget lie detector and IQ tests, before spending about 6 or so hours trying to get me to sign away all my worldly possessions and join the Church of Scientology as an employee (who wasn't even guaranteed minimum wage, by the way.)
I really wish I was exaggerating.
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Lucy Stewart, in reply to
For some reason, this inspired her to escort me to a nondescript office building on Queen St, force me to watch interminable Scientology promo videos about volcanoes, take budget lie detector and IQ tests, before spending about 6 or so hours trying to get me to sign away all my worldly possessions and join the Church of Scientology as an employee (who wasn’t even guaranteed minimum wage, by the way.)
I really wish I was exaggerating.
There wasn't a window to escape out of? Maybe an air duct?
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the return-to-feudalism of the Greens
Funny, I don't really get that impression of a party that's pushing for investment in high-quality public transport.
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One of the things I miss the most about feudalism are the electric buses.
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FletcherB, in reply to
There’s more to it than making National look good or siphoning off nut cases.
I wasnt so much talking about making National look good, as providing a third leg, so that Act look more central...
Can you grow Act back into relevance by creating some loonies further out than them?
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Andre Alessi, in reply to
Where is that party?
Well, technically ACT is as close as it gets. New Zealanders don't fight over social issues with the same passion as many other democracies, so social policies tend to be largely fair weather constructions. Hide has deliberately downplayed that aspect of ACT's policies to the point where the perception has become the reality, and ACT no longer believes in its own liberalism.
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the return-to-feudalism of the Greens
But hey, we’d have the world’s first Feudal Republic.
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Andre Alessi, in reply to
There wasn’t a window to escape out of? Maybe an air duct?
No windows! And the air con wasn’t working so I couldn’t locate the vents. Also the elevator required a swipe card, and we were on the 12th floor.
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Kumara Republic, in reply to
Whilst I don’t think there’s a place in NZ politics for a home-grown Tea Party (Manuka Party?), surely there is a place for a liberal party. Economically conventional like National but reformist rather than conservative. Greener than National without the return-to-feudalism of the Greens. Not socially conservative like Brash and his brethren. Compassionate for the community without Labour’s reflex ritual of brother-unionist-against-capitalism. Where is that party?
If you're thinking of a socially liberal centrist party like the British LibDems, there doesn't seem to be one in NZ, even with MMP. Such territory merely seems to be the 'middle ground' fought over by the usual suspects.
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There’s more to it than making National look good or siphoning off nut cases.
I wasnt so much talking about making National look good, as providing a third leg, so that Act look more central…
Can you grow Act back into relevance by creating some loonies further out than them?
Because if you successfully grow Act, then they will have more influence in a future National/Act partnership than the current one.
(note- this all from the point of view of a right-wing-squillionaire who wouldnt notice the loss of 10% of his tax-cut being used to help a lame-duck party)
{sorry- interruption during editing has made for a sort of delayed double-post}
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BenWilson, in reply to
There wasn't a window to escape out of? Maybe an air duct?
My cousin had been cornered by the same guy as me. But he said he did about a third of the questions, then just bolted when the guy's back was turned.
I'd have done the same, but I'd been snared by a falsehood - they claimed they would put the personality test through their amazing computer system, and give me a printout of the report. That piqued my attention, and the form had those circular color-in options which suggested automated processing. So I stuck it out.
The guy then sat me down and began reading the form. I asked him if he was going to feed it into the computer, and he said he was doing just that. "This computer", he said, tapping his bald pate. I was tempted to give it Benny Hill slaps. "The printout" I asked, wistfully? He waggled his pen.
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I can't see practically how a splinter group could form in the center. The centrists in the major parties are usually the leadership, so they're not going to splinter from themselves. Which means National and Labour are always adjacent, barring the Peter Dunne oddballs. They could easily form a coalition between themselves - this is the true safety valve against tail-wags-dog situations. If either party splintered badly, or both were eroded by strong minor parties, a grand-coalition would be a centrist option.
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“what they would do if they were New Zealand’s dictator for a year!”
Can we all have a turn? Maybe its a new game, the whole nation could play.
Me I'd just try to resurrect a form of Saturnalia suitable to these modern times. -
Matthew Poole, in reply to
Would require a hell of a lot of eroding before National and Labour got sufficiently close to make a grand coalition a possibility. For all the little bits they agree on, they also disagree fairly loudly on some quite fundamental issues. If we use Key and Clark as the benchmarks (because Goff still has quite the odour of the Rogernome) for centrist on each side, getting them to see eye-to-eye on taxation and welfare, to pick but two major issues, would be quite a struggle. It's possible that the loss of radical aspects from each side would moderate the discussion enough to give peace a chance, but I just don't see it.
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It's possible that the loss of radical aspects from each side would moderate the discussion enough to give peace a chance, but I just don't see it.
I never thought I'd see Labour in bed with NZ First, or post-Orewa National with the Maori Party. Funny old game.
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I had exactly the same experience about 13-14 years ago. The very determined surveyer (who was writing their survey on blank bits of recycled newsprint) thought it was odd that my response to her question "What do you need to make you happy?" was "Well, nothing."
And no less creepy was this guy in Dixon St one Sunday evening, who simply reached out to shake my hand and say hello out of the blue, then proceeding to pontificate about a certain deity. I fobbed him off in a very polite way, but not without him handing me one of those tacitly patronising pamphlets.
On closer inspection, the pamphlet had Web addresses for a global Pentecostal denomination, which is basically self-explanatory. (And no, it wasn't the Destiny Church.)
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"New Zealand's Next Dictator" will start in the new TV season as soon as the current dictator, Gerry Brownlee, has finished his term. Jason Gunn and Paul Henry will be your hosts as the nation looks for the next Kiwi to be granted extraordinary powers.
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I suspect Hell would freeze over before we saw a Grand Coalition between the Nats and Labour (barring something major like a war or pandemic). Their egos wouldn't allow it.
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Would require a hell of a lot of eroding before National and Labour got sufficiently close to make a grand coalition a possibility. For all the little bits they agree on, they also disagree fairly loudly on some quite fundamental issues.
I'd say the opposite was true - they broadly agree on 95% of all political issues, and the points where they disagree are greatly exaggerated, not because of the strength of their convictions but as exercises in marketing and fundraising.
The real enmity between National and Labour, and the thing that makes a grand coalition impossible is the personal ambition of the politicians in each party. All of them want to be in government and run the country but you can't have two PMs, two Finance Ministers, two Justice Ministers etc. Almost all the inter-party enmity between Labour and National stems from this dynamic. -
Joe Wylie, in reply to
“New Zealand’s Next Dictator” will start in the new TV season . . .
At last a chance for all those who were considered for Dancing With the Stars, but were rejected because they couldn’t dance.
According to Paul Goldsmith’s hagiography, Brash cut a pretty mean rug in his younger days. Somehow, though, he doesn't seem a natural goose-stepper.
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Jason Gunn and Paul Henry will be your hosts as the nation looks for the next Kiwi to be granted extraordinary powers.
If other reality TV is anything to go on, the contestants should all be wash-ups who absolutely hate each other, and all they will actually win is a "six figure contract" with a major party. The runner ups get a leadership role in a minor party.
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Jason Gunn and Paul Henry will be your hosts as the nation looks for the next Kiwi to be granted extraordinary powers.
I thought Murray McCully was next in line, with the extraordinary RWC liquor licensing powers granted to him.
But being dictator would be nice. I'd like a bigger house, and to be able to put the neighbours to the sword when they have noisy parties.
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Paul Williams, in reply to
The real enmity between National and Labour, and the thing that makes a grand coalition impossible is the personal ambition of the politicians in each party. All of them want to be in government and run the country but you can't have two PMs, two Finance Ministers, two Justice Ministers etc
I don't agree. Yes they hype up the differences and certainly there's consensus on a number of issues however, there remain real differences in social policy and there's increasing divergence in economic policy too. To simply declare that all of politics is self-aggrandisement is a bit superficial.
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Brash returning to the house, I would think he would be better off trying out as the lead singer of Bananarama, and perhaps just maybe he and Winston could form an old boyz band or a tag wrestling team.
What is it, can’t they find anything else to do, are they talentless or just plain unemployable??
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Rich of Observationz, in reply to
Under MMP you need a coalition partner because no party gets more than 50% of the party vote
Not neccesarily.
National got 58/122 MPs at the last election and ACT 5. If ACT had disbanded and all their voters switched to National (as one might expect), then National would have got 63 MPs and had an overall majority of one.
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