Field Theory by Hadyn Green

8

Campaigning

Jed Soane has been taking photographs for Field Theory for a while now. Along with Mike Roseingrave (now in Melbourne), Jed has followed me on some crazy adventures over the years.

Recently Jed has upped his game with the Beer Project, documenting the craft beer movement in New Zealand. He used a recent exhibition of his photos to help fund a trip to Perth for a course to further refine his techniques and now... well, you'll see below.

And so I want Jed to win the TP McLean Sports Photographer of the Year award. His shots are at least this good and, in many cases, better (Christine Cornege was last year's winner). I feel we can help him do this, though I'm not sure how.

Anyway the photos. Taken from the last two Richter City Roller Derby regular season bouts. The darkened effect is a technique Jed uses called "magic".

Lolo Morales Warming Up Smash Malice vs Brutal Pageant 22 Meat Train Derailed by Fru Ju Smash Malice vs Brutal Pageant 64 Referee Simon Sez Skända Läss Ready to Pounce Tuff Bikkies Smash Malice vs Comic Slams 27 Smash Malice vs Comic Slams 28 Organic Hurtaliser Miller Gnomer Pave-U'Ova!

Come on Face!

6

Rules

Here is a quick rundown of the new rules to be trialled by the IRB:

1. Law 16.7 (Ruck): The ball has to be used within five seconds of it being made available at the back of a ruck or within two seconds following a warning from the opposition forwards of "Fucking come on ref!" Sanction – Scrum.

2. 19.2 (b) (Quick Throw-In) For a quick throw in, the player may be anywhere outside the field of play between the line of touch and the seats where the players girlfriends sit. Fans may be allowed to throw the ball in if they catch it and are wearing an official replica team jersey.

3. 19.4 (who throws in) When the ball goes into touch from a knock-on, the non-offending team will be offered the choice of a lineout at the point the ball crossed the touch line; or a scrum at the place of the knock-on; or a chance to win what is behind the mystery curtain. The non-offending team may exercise this option by taking a quick throw-in or by asking the crowd its opinion.

4. 21.4 Penalty and free kick options and requirements: Lineout alternative. A team awarded a penalty or a free kick at a lineout may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in. Should a team be awarded a penalty or a free kick at that lineout they may choose a further lineout, they throw in... This continues until the game clock runs out.

5. A conversion kick must be completed within one minute 30 seconds from the time that a try has been awarded. Any try. As such teams are allowed to attempt to convert a try scored by the opposition. First one over the crossbar gets the points.

A further three trials will be made before being added to rules at a time that will most annoy rugby fans in the Southern Hemisphere:

1. A trial to extend the jurisdiction of the TMO to incidents within the field of play that have led to the scoring of a try and foul play in the field of play to take place at an appropriate elite competition. This will require the TMO to watch the entire game up to the point they are called upon.

2. A trial has been sanctioned for the November 2012 Test window permitting international teams to nominate up to eight replacements in the match day squad for Test matches. The additional player must be a qualified front row player with at least a BA (Hons) or at minimum of three years in the forwards industry.

3. An amendment to Law 3.4 (Sevens Variation) to enable Sevens teams to nominate up to five replacements/substitutes. Under the revision, which will operate from June 1 2012, a team may substitute or replace up to five players during a match. One of the additional players must be nominated to do a "yardy" (or metric equivalent) at some point during the tournament. All players will be required to give their hotel room numbers to the girls/boys in the skanky pirate outfits.

I, for one, hope they stick.

19

Talkin' Softball

I was waiting to order a drink at the bar*. As I did a woman walked past and, in an American accent, said: "I like your shirt". I mumbled a "thanks" with an ashamed smile. Normally this kind of random nicety would cause me to smile broadly back, but my shoe-gazing response was for a simple reason: my shirt said "Mets" and I support the Yankees.

There was a time when I followed the Mets. Their white, blue and orange uniforms and their plucky underdog status in New York had me backing them for a couple of years. Then I realised an important fact about the team: they suck. And I already follow a number of teams that suck (don't we all).

A friend and fellow Mets fan was shocked and appalled that I might move my allegiance from Queens to the Bronx. He even went so far as to call it a "douche move". Fair enough. Yankees fans are not known to be nice, well-heeled individuals; and to move across town from the struggling, bumbling Mets to the most-Championships-in-MLB-history Yankees isn't exactly sporting.

So why was I wearing a Mets shirt, like some stinking hipster wearing "ironic" sportswear? Well, truth be told, I prefer the Mets logo. I love the style and the typography and the colours (royal blue with New York orange). And, it can't be helped, everyone who wears a Yankee cap is a dick. 

I kid.

Though I do seriously love baseball; it's my cricket, so to speak. I like the slow speed, the countrified descriptions of the commentators, the general laid-back nature of the whole thing. If the ball goes into the crowd and you catch it, you get to keep it. I can work happily with the NY WCBS radio feed playing in the background: "It is high! It is far! It is… gone!" Professional baseball has been around for a long time, so long that the Dodgers were once charmingly called the Bridegrooms (as it is, Dodgers is short for "Trolley Dodgers" which was a description for Brooklyn-ites avoiding being run down by trolley buses).

All of this is why I joined a softball team last year.

Poneke-Kilbirnie (2B) was my team. We were at the bottom of the men's social league, and this was a good thing as I hadn't played organised sports since I was in an indoor soccer team at university in the late 90s. I had been thinking about playing softball for a while when I saw a random tweet from a friend asking if anyone wanted to join the team.

I was no star player (batting average of .343 with 7RBIs and 11 strike-outs** on the season). But I did provide occasional comedy, which can be a big morale booster. Batting at the end of the order and with a knack for not being able to remember the strike count (with a batting style that did actually get better over time), I was not viewed as a threat by the opposition.

I played right field, and given the non-tropical climate of Wellington, was sometimes out there in some terrible weather. One game, played in the hills of Newlands, saw the field covered in low fog, so when a pop fly went up it disappeared leaving the fielders standing as though questioning God.

My lack of cleats (shoes with spikes) also did not aid my fielding attributes. While fielding in the pouring rain (home plate was underwater and the game would finally be called off) I ran for a fly ball. It was going to be a close call: I was either going to catch it or stop it on the first bounce then fire it to second. What happened was my feet went to stop for the catch but instead of the usual deceleration I was expecting, my feet kept going away from the rest of my body. I realised at some point in my forward motion that my feet were no longer touching the ground and my butt was travelling downwards, carefully obeying gravity. Once I hit the grass I didn't slide far, but I did slide.

Now normally the centre fielder, Bradley, would come over in cover in case of a mistake. This time around the ball was gathered by Bradley, but the throw was awry, because he was laughing so hard. It's hard to be accurate with tears streaming down your face.

Our final three games were the best. We finished the season 5-1-9 and yet still made the post-season. Such are the mysteries of Men's second division softball.

Before the last game of the regular season we were told that if we won, we'd make the semis. I'm not sure how this was the case, but had something to do with a mid-season demotion by the other team.

I believe that I have set myself up as some bumbling clown on the field. This is slightly unfair and self-deprecating; however, during this game I couldn't muster a single hit and felt like a fool at the plate. Thankfully it was a dry day and my fielding was decent.

Worse was the feeling of tension. This game actually meant something. Winning this game could validate our season. We could make the goddamn play offs!

At one point, with the scores tied, a hitter came to the plate who had gone deep previously. Our pitcher yelled at the left fielder to move back . The left fielder didn't move. What followed was a discussion between the two players wherein the pitcher gesticulated angrily, while the left fielder stayed where he was. It was a little awkward though we all understood why it was happening. The pitcher gave in, turned, set, and delivered the ball. A hit to left field! It looped up in the air and without ever moving his feet the fielder reached up and took the catch for the final out of the inning. The pitcher also stood still as the fielder jogged in and offered his hand as an apology. It was tense, funny and perfect all in one.

In the top of the final inning I made another plate appearance with our team down by one and currently sucking badly. What made it worse is that this was the only game my girlfriend at the time had attended (she would later say of my fielding, "well, you didn't fall down"). The preceding batter had singled with no outs. I was up and the pitcher who had me guessing all day instantly threw a strike. Then I had one of those magical sports moments, my swing connected with the wonderful sound of a metal bat hitting a synthetic material pretending to be bright yellow leather. Sort of like a loud "plink".

The ball rocketed to right and I was off. The runner at first rounded second, heading for third, and was waved home as the ball was bobbled in the field before being thrown to second. No hits all game then an RBI double to tie the game in the final inning. I was well chuffed (or at least I was when I came in, because at the time I wasn't sure of the score). The captain would come up to bat with two outs and hit a home run to bring me in.

We finished the game with a 18-15 win, a box full of beer in the sunshine, and the knowledge that we were in the play-offs next week.

The semi-final couldn't be any different to the previous game. Boy I tell ya, we hit that day! Everyone was a slugger and I managed an entire game with no outs, including hitting a rocket to left that I was very proud of. The opposing pitcher was changed and then came back as his replacement was hit as just often. When he returned you could see the fire was gone and we were heading to a "mercy rule" finish.

That's when I was hit by a pitch. Right on the ankle and it hurt like a bitch. I hobbled the rest of the game but we were almost assured a victory by that stage. Final score: 24-10

The final was played on a proper diamond in Hataitai against the Johnsonville Fossils. I wasn't there, due to a previously planned trip to Auckland. There was apparently a decent crowd with music and a live commentator. We lost 8-18. Perhaps overawed by the occasion.

I'm glad my final few games were some of my best. I'm not sure how my memories would be tainted if the team had gone out on a bum note. That same low feeling you get when you get struck out looking. The empty air and deflating sound of the ball slapping the catcher's mitt. Instead I went out on the feeling of extra weight at the end of your bat and the unthinking push your back foot gives into the dirt as it launches you towards first while your eyes, and everyone else's, stay fixed on the ball.

* How many stories start like this?

** the only statistic where I led the team

6

Dissension in the ranks

The Blues are in a slump. On the field and off the field something is going wrong this season. Russell's posts on the season so far seem to only scratch the surface. Poor play, poor management, poor experience for the fans.

The Blues sit last on the table with one win from eight games. But last year they were 10-1-5 and a wildcard semi-finalist. So why all hands to battle stations? Sure it's a slump and a big one, but teams have been there before, including the Blues. But taking a look at the Blues history and there's nothing too much to complain about.

You are not the Detroit Lions, yet.

What is far more worrying than the on-field bumbles is the strange direction off the field. For Super Rugby to be able to charge the higher ticket prices the quality of the experience has to be higher. Everyone knows the games won't sell out and that this is an annual contest, so exclusivity isn't a big draw card.

For example, I really like the Caketin. I like that nearly every seat has a good view. I like that it fills with sound easily. I like that it has a nickname, but one that we don't obsess over. Sure it swirls with wind and can be awfully cold if you don't have cover, but it is one of the best venues in the country for sport.

Last month my mum was visiting and, as it was a very nice afternoon, I took her to the game. The Hurricanes were looking to put away the perennially terrible Cheetahs (there's a team that should be complaining). There looked to be a healthy crowd outside and we forked over $20 each to get tickets right in behind the sticks.

That's not too bad really, $20. Online for the same seats it was going to cost me $25 + a $5 Ticketek fee. The game was free-flowing (sadly for the Canes who decided to stop tackling in the second half) and the crowd was in good spirits it was a good atmosphere. As a friend (who coincidentally was sitting with his family a few seats down) said to me: "I could bring the family along and the whole thing cost me $60". Sunshine, decent rugby, and an energetic, if disappointed, crowd; this is what Super Rugby advertises to us.

I don't really have a point here, because I haven't thought about it too much. But after a World Cup where we saw the kind of unique experience you can have at a rugby game, it seems we're back to: "it's rugby you should just like it and shut up".

Oh and you can stop playing the bloody music through the stadium, thank you.

13

Going Legit

Looking back at my posts on roller derby over the years there is a progression: “Wow, these girls are also teachers and librarians”; “It’s not all just make-up, tattoos and fishnets, there’s skill too”; “This sport you’ve never heard of is doing quite well”. Funny thing is, everyone who writes about derby follows this path (though thankfully I never called it “The Sisterhood of the Skates”). Expect another evolution of the storyline soon.

Roller derby is changing in New Zealand, and it’s a change that could potentially divide the sport.

A couple of years back, skaters in Richter City (Wellington’s league) eschewed the more flamboyant costuming for racer tops, shorts and regular tights (maybe with fishnets over the top). The flashy entrances with gimmicky skate-outs were ditched in favour of a team roll-call approach and even (quelle horreur) the MC intro time was shortened. The sport itself was becoming the attraction rather than the spectacle.

As much as this disappointed some “devoted” fans who felt derby lost something by being more of a sport than a sideshow, the skaters themselves have taken to the new idea with heart. At the forefront of this is the new Auckland Roller Derby League (ARDL).

ARDL split off from the Pirate City Rollers league late last year with the idea of forming a league that was solely about the sport. ARDL would skate only inter-league bouts and offer coaching boot camps to other teams that wanted to get better. They skate under their own names (rather than pun-intended pseudonyms) and wear simple uniforms in navy and white; Auckland colours.

ARDL's spokesperson is Hannah Jennings-Voykovich; she used to skate under the name Scheisse Minnelli and would get grumpy if introduced as "Hannah". Naturally she sees the changes as positive.

"You can't have a name like 'Cunty McTaintStain' and expect people to take you seriously". This is not the point in the evolution of roller derby where everyone understands that it takes skill and fitness to be a player; that happened after the first few bouts. This is where roller derby goes legit.

Legitimacy for a sport is hard for a lot of sports. Watch the strength and skill of a rhythmic gymnastics routine then think about all the times you've heard people say that it's not a sport. A sport like derby should have no trouble crossing from "entertainment" to "sport" in people's minds: a full contact team sport, with strange rules but clear points-scoring situations, something easy to follow and cheer for. That is, it would be easy if derby hadn't started as it did with costume and crazy names.

"I think our audience has changed" says Hannah (who drops Voykovich when skating because "no MC is going to say that during a game"). "They're smarter and they know the rules." The cheering is no longer at random times; fans know what is happening on the track.

"I talked to [Richter City skater and World Cup team member] Tuff Bikkies about this, and we agreed that we used to love playing sport with just our Mums yelling at us from the sideline." Don't get her wrong, the huge crowds keep them going, both financially and emotionally; but the idea that going from the flashy but amateurish to professional but sometimes dull (for an example see Super Rugby) might lose them supporters doesn't phase ARDL.

That's what legitimacy means: you get the accolade of being a sport, but you are just another sport.

"We're not getting rid of everything. We still have the live MC, we still play music during the game, we still serve beer. There are some things you want to keep around and some things that make derby derby."

Personally, as derby is a very American sport, I cannot help but compare it to American football. Athleticism and strategy with moments of flashy entertainment. Solid work followed by showboating. Part of derby's allure will always be the hits and the falls, the speed and agility. But really, no one is going to mind showing off at the end. As long as you spend the hours practising drills as much as you do learning to make that fancy whip move.

This weekend ARDL take their new brand of derby to the track in Auckland against Christchurch's Dead End Derby. Hannah is cautiously optimistic.

"They've got a lot of good skaters who were at the world championships last year and so we're not taking this casually. It should be a great game." She didn't go so far as to expect an ARDL loss though, and modestly didn't point out the talent that ARDL packs.

Legitimacy doesn't just affect one league at a time. The proliferation of derby around the country has been amazing. From Whangarei to Invercargill almost every city in the country has a league. All of the new leagues starting up have benefited from the growing legitimacy of the sport.

This weekend there are five bouts around the country. The Swamp City Roller Rats are playing the Taranaki Roller Corps in an afternoon bout in Palmerston North.

In the Hawkes Bay there's a triple-header bout: Bay City Rollers (Napier) vs K-town Derby Dolls (Kawerau) vs Bin City Brutalion (Gisbourne). And in Tauranga there's a double-header as the local Mount Militia take on the Northland Nightmares and Whanganui's River City Rollers.

Then Richter City start their regular season with the opening bout between last year's finalists: Comic Slams and Smash Malice. And finally ARDL takes on DED in Auckland.

There's even more next week when Pirate City's regular season starts up and more inter-league bouting between Nelson and Blenheim and other leagues in action. It's non-stop.

Whether too much of the product along with the more "sporty" entertainment sees a drop in attendance is still to be seen, but this is exciting nonetheless. Where derby is going is could make it one of the most popular women's sports in the country. In fact, expect that headline soon.

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If you want a calendar with all of the bouts in it, Richter City referee Greg Bodnar has put one together.